In Between (SC, #4)

Kabanata 36

Jealousy

"Totoo naman na ililibre kita," panimula ni Jayden. She bit her bottom lip again this time. She looked tense unlike the Jayden I knew this lifetime. Her eyes are piercing a hole to anything. Ilang beses na rin siyang napabuntong hininga ngunit patuloy pa rin kami sa paglalakad. Her fists kept on clenching and then unclenching. Hindi malapalagay ang kanyang katawan. This is the first time I witnessed how bothered she is. "I hate kuya Rett right now. Ba't ako pa ang kukuha ng libro na 'yon?" She breathed fire again this time.

"Kanino mo ba kukunin 'yon?" ani 'ko, kunot ang kilay dahil sa araw na tumatama sa mukha 'ko.

I agreed to accompany her to the Herreras because of a book. Ang Mommy niya ang nagtanong tungkol dito. I don't know why Jayden can't even take a step inside the Herrera's vicinity. I saw a sliver of hatred that swam inside her eyes. Nagkibit balikat na lamang ako tungkol doon. Saka, it is just a book. She's probably not in the mood today.

"Don't know. Maybe, tita Hannah. Dahil sa kanya nanghiram si Mommy," she rebutted, a sharp intake is added. We stopped walking and she glared the high-gate with a piercing and blazing gawk. She curled her lips in irritation.

Okay, that's enough frustration for my cousin.

"Bakit inis na inis ka?" Curiosity is plastered on my features. Hindi 'ko alam kung bakit ako nahihirapan sa inaakto niya.

Jayden raised her brow to me. Halos mapaatras ako sa matalim na tingin na iyon sa akin. Her palms found her waist. Her nose is flaring wildly. Ngumisi siya ngunit inayos na lamang ang buhok. She pressed the gate's bell. Tinitigan 'ko pa'no niya ginawa iyon kaysa sa mukha niyang iritado. "Don't know. Ayoko lang na pumapasok sa mansyon na 'to."

"Is it because of tita Hannah?" I bit my tongue. What the hell did I say?

Jayden chuckled dryly. "Maybe." Kibit-balikat lamang niya. "Or someone annoying in this house. I don't know. I hate it." Hate. Sometimes, I wonder what's good with that word. Everything has a reason even how awful and good. Why would you hate someone without a reason? There must be a reason. There must be a deeper motive. "Sa'n na kaya si Manong? Naka-ilang pindot na 'ko." Tuloy-tuloy ang pag-press ni Jayden. Wala pa rin kaming naaninag na tao. Nasa bakuran kaya si Manong? O nasa loob ng mansyon?

Usually, Manong would be there any minute if he heard the bell. The sun is burning us. Halos ipangtakip 'ko na ang braso 'ko sa aking mukha.

"Can you text Genesis, Ish?" Jayden suggested.

Tinago 'ko ang gulat sa aking mukha. I remained blank-faced as I picked my phone from my pocket. Hindi 'ko mapaliwanag kung bakit ganito na lamang ang reaksyon ng katawan 'ko sa pangalan niya. I clenched my fist tightly. Ang isa 'kong kamay akala 'ko madudurog 'ko ang aking telepono.

"May sagot na?" agad ni Jayden.

"Ha? Hindi pa 'ko nagtetext. Wala akong load, e..." I slurred my words.

Jayden's right brow shot up quickly. Tila binibigay niyang ekpresyon ay hindi makapaniwala sa salitang binigay 'ko. Maybe, she sensed I gave her the most foolish reason to comply. She continuously pressing the button every minute. Kung ako ang may-ari siguro ng bahay, baka tinanggal 'ko ang pagkakabit ng door bell at hinayaan lamang ang gumagawa noon. I shook my head.

Anong rason pa ang ibibigay 'ko?

After the concert, I am really distancing myself to him because...because, I can't understand myself. I thought I should be moving on. Hindi ba dapat bigyan mo ang sarili ng espasyo pagkatapos ng masalimot na pagtatapos? Katulad nang nangyari sa amin ni Jace. Everything happened between Jace and I still a blurry image inside my mind. Pero hindi ganoon ang nangyari. It felt like there is nothing between us. That I just easily removed him in my system. Minsan naisip 'ko na gusto 'ko lamang siya dahil ba may nagbigay sa akin ng atensyon na ganoon? That there might be a greater feelings after all. That deep inside I was wrong to entertain the infatuation than the real emotions.