In Between (SC, #4)

Kabanata 41

In Silence

Death is inevitable.

No one can stop it to happen. At certain point in life, demise follows us anywhere, sometimes you know when, mostly, shockingly. Unfortunately, people still doesn't know what happens after death. Do we go to Heaven? Or, do we just disappear and forget everything? Is there any void after-death?

We don't know.

But, what happens to the people that left behind?

My chin quivered tremendously. Another hot tears rolled down against my cheeks. Hinawakan 'kong mabuti ang payong habang nakatayo sa mansyon. Malakas pa rin ang ulan. The winds are whispering violently. It feels like the gloomy weather is so angry right now like my madness.

The news spread like a wildfire in the Internet. It is confirmed it is lola Magdalene since they kept posting her picture in Facebook. I have to logged out because in my heart, she's still alive and breathing. Hindi ako maniniwala kaagad because I am about to meet her today...unfortunately, earlier. I did not go to school today because it felt so surreal.

Everything felt so strange and maddening.

My body is crippling with unknown hurt. Invisible knives slicing my heart into halves because it is aching so bad.

I have to see her.

But, she's already gone.

I wish I see her last time yesterday. Sana pumunta ako sa pakiusap niya dahil iyon na pala ang huling beses na makikita 'ko siya...sana. Kung iyon na pala ang huli, bakit humindi pa 'ko makita siya? Maybe, it could change anything, right? Maaring hindi na siya lumipad via chopper ng mga oras na 'yon dahil sa sobrang sama ng panahon. Kung pumunta lang sana ako, hindi ba? Baka, maaaring nandito pa rin siya.

I choked on my thoughts and swallowed the heavy regret in my chest.

The mansion really looked spine-chilling and atrocious without the lights on. There is so much darkness even at my place. Ilang minuto na 'kong nakatayo habang pinagmamasdan ang mansyon mula sa labas.

A shadowy familiar figure emerged from the dark. Manong Dencio strode toward the gates, gripping the umbrella tightly. His redden eyes are the one I saw first. He sniffed before speaking, "Bakit, Ish? Walang tao rito ngayon lahat nasa..." His Adam's apple bobbed twice. He tried to swallow the lump that prohibiting him to say some words. But then, he choked. "Hinihintay nilang lahat si Ma'am Magdalene sa pulinarya..." He tore his gaze off me quickly and wiped the traitor tears. Nanginig ang labi niya ngunit pinagbuksan niya 'ko ng gate.

"Pwede po bang 'kong pumasok?" ang tanging nasabi 'ko. I blinked back the tears that threatening to fall again.

Hindi na nagsalita si Manong Dencio at pinatuloy na lamang ako sa bakuran. Dirediretso akong pumasok ng kanilang bahay hanggang sa nakapasok ako ng matiwasay. I left my umbrella behind the door, and flashes occupied my mind like a storm. I closed my eyes tightly as the chills enveloped around my body and the tears rolled down against my cheeks...again. Marahas 'kong pinunasan ang pisngi 'ko at binuksan muli ang mata 'ko.

Why am I remembering this all?

Sana pumunta 'ko kahapon!

It could have changed something!

Napahikbi muli ako.

My knees almost gave up when I remember myself running in this living room and panicking where to hide because Genesis was about to tickle my armpits and stick his tongue in my neck. Pababa na si lola Magdalene ng mga oras na 'yon and I hided myself behind her because Genesis was coming. Hindi na natuloy ni Gene ang balak dahil binalaan siya ni lola. I hided myself behind Grandma until we successful went inside their room. I was beaming wildly toward her beautiful features as she tucked a piece of my black hair behind my ear.