When's My Turn ?

I couldn't sleep. I was too afraid to close my eyes.
I miss Luca. I made sure to keep my door open in case my mom needed me. I knew it was a matter of time now.

At 8am I decided to call her doctor, and ask him to check on her. 30 minutes later he was in her room checking her temperature and breathing.
He walked out of her room with a serious look on his face, and his eyes showed pity.

"I'm sorry, go say your goodbyes" He pat my shoulder softly and left the room. I took a deep breathe and walked into the room. She just laid there, barely breathing, looking as pale as the wall. I walked to her bed and sat beside her, lifted her hand to my lips and then settled them on my lap.

"I forgive you" I whispered and continued "You can go knowing your son loves you" a tear rolled down my cheek.
"It's okay" I cooed, and brushed the hair off her face. It took 49 minutes for her to stop breathing. When she did all it took was one big sigh, for the air inside her lungs to leave her body.

I just sat there for a while, trying to process what had just happened. When the shock left my body I called Doctor Riggs into the toom and let him know.
After doing a last exam to see if she had passed, he called the time of death. 9:43AM.

I knew I had to get everything ready for the funeral but quite frankly I just had no idea what to do. So I decided to call Luca. At first I wanted to call John but I didn't want to bother him. Especially after the night he had. After a few rings he picked up.

"Is everything okay ?? Why haven't you responded to my messages??" He asked worriedly. I forgot that I put my phone on silence after declaring my love to him. Oops.

"I'm sorry, my phone was on silent." I said and then continued.
"My mom passed away, can you come back?.." my eyes burned but I didn't want to let the tears go.

"Oh honey.. " he sighed sadly. "Open the door".
I ran to the door as fast as I could and jumped into his arms.
I felt so safe in his arms. Behind him I could see the ambulance, probably getting ready to take my mom away. I wasn't ready.

"Let's go inside sweetie" he lead me inside and sat me on the couch. After a cup of water and lots of hugs I was ready to let them take her.
As they rolled her body out all I could do was look out of the window.

I didn't want to watch her like this, cold, under a bag.

"I don't want to stay here" I whispered and looked at him. "Take me away from here" I cried and covered my face with my hands. He picked me up like a child and carried me to the car, put my sit belt on and drove to his place.
I didn't take anything with me, I just wanted to leave.
I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes again I was in Luca's bedroom.

I found him in his office, making calls. I stood outside because I didn't want to intrude when I heard him talking about flowers. That's when it hit me, he was planning the funeral.

At that moment so much grief but also love hit me. Walking inside I spotted him standing next to the window, and hugged him from behind. I was truly lucky to have Luca in my life. He hung up the phone and turned to look at me.

"I got you baby" he whispered and hugged me tightly.

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