heartbroken: a compilation

At

At age five, you touched me

in places I didn't even know I had

at age 8 

as a girl I trusted you

but you touched me

and I was the one who got in trouble

at age 14

you stole my virginity

through drugs

and all I remember is the blood

at age 17

you took my lack of trust

the walls I had built

to throw them on the ground

lift me over them

and let me down

at age 18

the same..

at age 20

you used my love for you

to get your way

when I asked you

if you would stay

you said without labels, yes

if I listened to your wants, yes

and so I did

I let you do what you wanted with me

because your slow breath

healed my wounds 

even when your penetrations

opened them again

but you left 

Trust

I broke your trust

when I ran away from home

and I pay for that 

by little things 

when I don't have enough rent

and need to ask you for money

I try every other option

exhausting myself and body

to get by

so I don't have to look you in the eyes

and ask for your help

after being a shit daughter

Help

The first time

I tried asking for help

I was told I was lying

the second time

I was a whore

I went to court against you