Maze Runner story- Beware your fears (Newt × Reader)

Y/N P.O.V
After I finished my breakfast and Newt gave me the tour, he accompanies me on the way to the blood house where I am supposed to work today. On the way there he explains something about the Glade to me and I stare apathetically at the ground. Actually I am interested to learn more about this strange place but I don't understand why he knew my name before I could even remember it. We have crossed half of the big meadow and are heading for the crooked hut, which is near a small forest, when the familiar melody from this morning sounds again. At first softly, but then it gets louder and louder and Newt's voice disappears completely. This is accompanied by a female voice singing a hauntingly lovely melody. I stop in my movement and stare towards the entrance to the Maze. The hairs on my arms stand up and my hands are tingling.
"Do you hear that Newt?" I ask the blond boy without averting my gaze. I can feel him frowning and probably wondering if I have completely lost my mind. His voice reaches my ear and the beautiful melody fades away as if it had never been there before. "Hear what?" he replies confused and I turn to him. Newt looks at me confused and raises an eyebrow. "Nothing...nevermind." I answer and walk on. God, that song! I can feel every note worming into the crevices of my brain- it's paralysing me. Is it all in my head? Or am I slowly going crazy? Thousands of questions are buzzing through my head and I can't find the answers. After a few meters we arrive at the hut and a grinning boy with frizzy black hair welcomes us. "Hey, I'm Winston- keeper of the slicers. Come on, we have a lot of work to do." he says smiling and I say goodbye to Newt.

*time skip- one hour later*

"NO! Leave me alone! You can't force me!" I scream as I storm out of the blood house. I try to erase the images of the dead animals and the blood from my head but again and again I see the knives and some organs cut out in front of my inner eye. I am followed by Winston and two other slicers to calm me down but I just keep on walking. Away from the horrible events. "You didn't even try!" Winston shouts angrily and I snort. "Yes, and I'm not gonna do it either." I state. Just the thought of hurting these innocent animals disgusts me. Newt and Alby come running towards us and our leader raises his hands in appeasement. "Woah calm down. What's going on here?" asks the dark-skinned boy. "She doesn't want to do the job." explains Winston with a heavy sigh. The keeper looks at Alby helplessly and shrugs his shoulders. "What shall we do with her now?" he inquires. What I'd like best is just to get a little distance from so much blood... "Very simple: Y/N works with the living animals and takes care of them until you have another task for her." Newt decides and Alby nods in agreement. "I don't understand.", one of the two other slicers pipes into the conversation. I think his name is Henry or Harry but I'm not sure because I was too distracted by the dead animals. His voice isn't filled with genuine confusion, it is dripping with sarcasm. "Everyone said that you are a crazy bitch because you just ran into the Maze and faced a Griever. But instead of running away from it, you stood still and sang a song. Yet you can't handle a little blood and guts?" asks the black haired boy smirking- obviously making fun of me.
"Okay...I think that was enough for-" Newt begins, but I stop him. "People are calling me that?" I respond. My heart feels like it drops into my stomach and an inexplicable rage comes over me. I am hurt that the Glader hardly know me a day and already talk bad about me. I turn around and leave the five boys standing. "This is ridiculous! Stop acting like a bitch and come back inside!" says the third slicer behind me and holds me by my arm forcefully. Feeling a poisonous adrenaline infecting my veins, my mind switched off completely. I rip my arm out of his grip and spin around. "Leave me alone!" I scream but my voice is abnormally high, contrary to my normal tone. Scared the boys stumble back, bones tense in caution. The slicer called Jake, who hold me back, moans in pain. "Wha- What did you do to me?" he asks, holding one hand to his head. Now the other boys also look at him and stare at him speechlessly. Jake touches his ears in disbelief, blood pouring out of them over his pale skin. "I'm bleeding..that bitch made my ears bleed." he says and suddenly I realise what I've done. "I..I- didn't want..." I stutter. My heart is beating fast against my chest and I open my mouth to say something but I am at a loss for words. Tears are gathering in my eyes and I feel someone putting a hand on my shoulder. "Y/N? Y/N what is wrong?" Newt asks anxiously, but I step back and the first tears roll down my cheeks. My eyes are still on Jake and I can barely breath. "I'm so- I didn't mean to..." I choke out and try to stay on my feet. Then I turn around and run. Just away from everybody and everything.

I run as fast as my legs carry me into the deadheads. Without thinking about it I stumble along a small path and try to recognize my surroundings through the veil of tears. The leaf canopy lets only little light through and it is quite dark. I fall down a few times but I always pick myself up and continue running. At some point I arrive at a small clearing that seems to serve as a kind of graveyard. There are some makeshift memorials standing close together and I read names like George, Tom and Finn. Newt already told me about this place but he said that I should rather not come here. It's creepy - he said - but I like this place. It is quiet and peaceful, nobody will come here. Exhausted I sit down under a tree and lean my head against the bark. Why do I have to be different? And why did I hurt Jake? I think, and I feel like all these unanswered questions are crushing me. I'm so strange and stupid and lonely...An emptiness is spreading inside of me and it's making my heart hurt. Maybe it would be easier if I end it all before anyone else gets hurt. No one would actually miss me after what I did to the other Glader. Just thinking about what it would be like to run into the Maze and get killed by a Griever distracts me a little from the guilt. The first tear runs silently down my cheek and leaves a warm trace on my skin. Then the next one rolls and then another one. A quiet sob leaves my mouth and I press my lips together. I pull my legs closer to me and wrap my arms around them so that I can put my head on my forearms. All the emotions come crashing down on me and I gasp uncontrollably for air. As I close my eyes to calm myself down, the image of Jake appears and how he looked at me with his face distorted with pain. My whole body trembles and I bite the inside of my cheek. "Y/N?", someone is calling me and the voice sounds not far away. I remain sitting still and huddled together, hoping that the person will not find me. Unfortunately footsteps approach and I feel a warm hand on my shoulder without further ado. Although I cannot see who is in front of me, I know that it is Newt. I can feel it when he is with me. "Hey Love...please stop crying. I don't want you to be sad. It wasn't your fault, okay?" he says softly and I look up. My eyes are swollen from crying and my hands are shaking. "I-It's my f-fault..I don't know what I did b-but I hurt someone." I stammer quietly and sniff. "Newt, please believe me! I didn't want to do it." I add and I look at him pleading. He doesn't say anything and just stares at me worried and insecure. Then he carefully takes me in his arms and I lay my head on his shoulder. I feel his fast heartbeat and press him against me. "I know that you wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose. It will be all right, I promise you." he whispers, but I know that I will have some more problems. So I don't answer him and close my eyes. I haven't felt accepted since I arrived here - like I was the black sheep in this Glader family. But here, at this very moment when I am lying in Newt's arms, I feel comfortable. My worries disappear for a moment and I'm happy with him.