The Heart of the randomness

(Rosaline's story.)

Announcer: Introducing the three most excellencies, The three good 抖阴社区rs. Mistress Maya, Mistress Brenda, and Sir Erik.

(The three approach Anna-Marie and Matthias, Rosaline's parents.)

Maya: Each of us the child may bless, with a single gift. No more, no less.

(She walks up to the bassinet and smiles at little Rosaline.)

Maya: Little Rosie, my gift is the gift of beauty. (She waves around her wand and Erik comes up next.)

Erik: Tiny one, my gift will be the gift of song. (He transfers some power as Brenda approaches.)

(Silence)

BrendaDaaeDestler: I'm sorry, I misunderstood. (She pulls out a bag.) it's a pack of onesies.

Maya: Brenda, what in the world?

Brenda: I am sorry, I missed the memo. We were giving her attributes?

Erik: Just think of one you can give her now.

Brenda: Any attribute? There's so many to choose from.

Maya: Brenda, come on. You're making us look bad.

Brenda: Ok... The gift of sight.

Erik: She already has sight. Give her something she doesn't have...

Brenda: The gift of a tail?

Maya: (Terrified.) No.

Brenda: The gift of being able to sneeze with your eyes open.

Erik: What-Why would you say that?

Brenda: I just read an article that said it was impossible and I wanted to reach for the stars.

Maya: Come on Brenda. Something else.

Brenda: Oh I'm sorry. I did not realize how great of gifts 'beauty' and 'song' are. What are your largest dream for her to become Miss America?

Maya: Calm down. Try again.

Brenda: Ok... The gift of.. Never needing to bathe.

Erik: Gross.

Brenda: The gift of double jointed elbows.

Maya: No, no.

Brenda: The gift of gluten tolerance.

Erik: What?

Brenda: The gift of being able to find great shoe sales.

Erik: Ooh.

Maya: No.

Brenda: The gift of being able to pull off blunt bangs.

Anna-Marie: I had that gift once.

Matthias: Uh, no. She did not.

Brenda: The gift of being homely, that she may have a good home.

Erik: That's not what homely means!

Brenda: The gift of having giant biceps.

Maya: No!!

Brenda: The gift of never needing to shave your legs.

Erik: Oh that's actually pretty good.

Brenda: Because you don't mind the hair.

(Erik and Maya groan with impatience.)

Erik: Did you ever get gifts growing up?

Brenda: The gift of having many Twitter followers.

Maya: Brenda..

Erik: No wonder Monsieur Firmin fired you.

Brenda: The gift of having your own reality tv show.

Maya: Brenda..!

Brenda: The gift of waking up exactly one minute before your alarm clock.

Maya: B-REN-DA!!

Brenda: The gift of being an assertive woman and not intimidating men.

Maya/Erik: Yes!

Matthias: No! No..

Brenda: Oh.. The gift of saving 15% or more on car insurance.

Maya: NO!!

Brenda: The gift of being able to pick your nose at an intersection and never being caught, even when you dig down real deep-

Erik: ENOUGH!! Just give her the gift of grace, or poise, or the ability to answer questions and- oh wait I see where the Miss America thing comes in now.

(MayaNever appears in a cloud of smoke.)

Maya: Oh no. MayaNever has come to curse the babe.

Erik: Good thing Brenda hasn't bestowed her gift yet. Maybe she can counter the curse.

MayaNever: Was this a curse thing? Oh.. (She holds up a bag.) I brought onesies...

(Maya and Erik sigh in defeat.)

Brenda: Oh that is very cute. Cute! Did you get it too? It was on the registry, right?

MayaNever: :D

Brenda: Cute..