ayo i wrote some poems so i put them here.
i am glad that i met you
this isn't where i thought
we'd end up.
the picture in my mind
was so far from
our current reality.
i've never felt about anybody
the way i feel about you.
i think there was a time
before all of this,
that you'd say the same about me.
but because of my lapse in judgement,
that time has passed us now.
i don't want you to give up
this connection that we share.
but i understand, and i'm sorry.
i put you through so much,
and now i'm facing the consequences.
it hurts so bad to know
that things will never be the same
as they once were.
and i sit in my room every night
hating myself for everything
that went wrong between us.
because the hypothetical me,
would have been so much happier.
that version of myself was torn down
long ago by my series of mistakes.
and now you do not want me.
but even so,
i am glad that i met you.
you have taught me a lot
just in the few months that i've known you.
i am stronger and smarter than i was.
i will never be so foolish again.
thank you for your wisdom.
and thank you for that fleeting feeling,
of loving someone and having them
love me too.
although that time is gone,
i am still glad that i met you.
failure
i'm not sure where i'm headed or where i'm supposed to be. i'm not sure what i'm good at or what you want from me. i'm not sure of what to do or how to act or what to say or where to go. so when people ask me who i am, i have to say that i don't know.
i feel like a failure today. today i feel like a failure.
feelings float in a group of friends
when somebody sees and touches your body and then goes and talks about you to your friends. when you know it's a bad idea but you continue anyway. when you're excited by the intimacy and the novelty but you don't stop to think about the collateral damage. when you give yourself away to somebody who doesn't deserve you. when you are bored of them but they are not bored of you. when they fell in love with you but you were in love with someone else the whole time.
put me back in the woods
i miss the woodland where i could focus on one thing at a time. not like this modern world. not like this gigantic landscape of android people. put me back in the woods and i'll never find my way out. why would i want to.
