The Outset [ON-GOING]

Chapter Four – Panaginip

Dreams concern all human experiences that may be defined as a state of awareness marked by sensory, emotional, and other kinds of events, and we often dread our own dreams. Sometimes we have a hard time finding their true purpose. We don't even know if it is a warning for extreme events to come, or for things that need an answer.

I feel discomfort when I suddenly wake up in the middle of the night. My sweat was dripping down from my forehead and my heart was thumping really hard at my chest. Matagal na akong nananaginip ng hindi maganda, but this time... it feels different. Pakiramdam ko ay naroon pa rin ako sa pangyayaring iyon kahit nagising na ng tuluyan. I gazed at the wall clock in my bedroom. Pasado alas dos na ng hating-gabi. I decided to get up to bed and head to the kitchen because I knew I would never be able to sleep again. Since I'm not fond of coffee or anything, I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and drink it.

My heart still pounding so fast. At mas dumudoble ang pintig nito sa tuwing naaalala ko ang nangyari sa aking panaginip. I'm totally clueless, not because I didn't know that it was the worst and most terrible nightmare I ever experienced. But because ever since my mom died and Hamora, I've never dreamed about them. And what is it supposed to mean that they were together in my dream. Wala akong maalala na pinakilala ko si Hamora sa kaniya at imposible rin naman na magkakilala silang dalawa. There is one more thing I saw and it was also a mystery for me.

My mom was running in the dark forest together with Hamora. They were chased by someone, I don't know who. The first thing I remember is how they both fell to the cold ground at the same time. I tried to remember the face of someone chasing them, but I could only see a clear and a dark face. In my dreams, I saw how they got shot many times. I saw how they bathed in their own blood and catch their own breath. And the last thing I remember before I woke up was that I heard a scream saying "Run Leanna" and that they were talking to each other, but I don't remember hearing anything.

Bago pa tuluyang sumakit ang ulo sa kakaalala sa mga ito ay dumiretso na ako sa banyo. Binabad ko ang sarili sa ilalim ng tumutulong tubig mula sa shower, nagbabakasakaling mahimasmasan ang utak ko at makalimutan ang nangyari sa panaginip ko. I walked out into a wet room in the bathroom and face myself in the mirror over the sink to start brushing my teeth and put some face cream.

I came out of the bathroom naked. Wala namang basta-basta na lang papasok dito kaya malakas ang loob ko. I have my own walk-in closet here in my unit, I just grabbed some bathrobe and head outside in the balcony. When I opened the glass door, I couldn't help but close my eyes tightly when I felt the cool and fresh breeze. Tuluyang inaalis nang hangin ang mga gumugulo sa isip ko.

Sa pagmulat ng aking mga mata ay tuluyan kong nasaksihan ang natural na ganda ng bilog na buwan kasabay ng mga kumikinang na bituin sa lawak ng kalangitan. I chuckled when I remember one fact about the moon. The moon's surface is actually dark, although it appears extraordinarily bright when compared to the night sky. Even though the moon gets its light from the sun, it's still appears pulchritudinous.

Dahil sa liwanang na nagmumula sa buwan at sa mga ilaw sa paligid ng dalampasigan ay hindi nakatakas sa mata ko ang imahe ng isang tao. Nangunot ang noo ko ng mapagtanto kung sino iyon. Naaninag ko ang ilang bote sa tabi niya.

Huwag niyang sabihin na mag-isa lang siyang pumunta rito? Posible nga iyon dahil simula ng una ko siyang makita ay parati siyang nag-iisa.

Nang manuot sa katawan ko ang lamig ay bumalik na ako sa loob para magbihis. Malapit na mag-umaga pero malamig pa rin ang hangin. I grabbed my favorite gray hoodie and a black pajama. As I was leaving in my walk-in closet, I saw my red jacket hanging in my clothes rack. I immediately grabbed my jacket, took off my indoor slippers and wore my flip-flops then run outside when his topless image pop in my mind.