like honey but poisoned

Lissa's POV

After shutting the door, it felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I held my hand in front of my mouth and cried instantly, stabilising myself with the other hand on the wall. What had I done? Had I done the right thing after all? And who's to say what's right or wrong? I didn't know if I had done the right thing and I didn't know how to behave. I never felt so lonely in my entire life before. I had felt lonely in other ways, internally mostly. But now the lonely feeling wasn't just internal, it was external too. And the one person I truly would've needed, was behaving like an ice cube.
"Get yourself together," I mumbled to myself and wiped away my tears, using the fabric of my dress to do so.

Filled with dreadful numbness, I made my way downstairs to the dungeons.
Already from a distance, I could see Malice trying to flirt with the guard, that was supposed to watch over her. A laugh escaped my lips.
"This won't ever work, Malice, but it's funny to see you try," I stated with a grin.
She glared at me and I knew she had no clue what I meant, she'd probably only try harder to convince herself otherwise. 'Though she would never succeed as Howard was gay, but I wouldn't tell her that.
"Did you miss me already?" Malice asked with a twisted expression on her face.
"No I didn't," I gulped and stared directly into her stone grey eyes. "But Marie does."
Her lips twitched upwards slightly, forming a sinister smile.
"Really?" She questioned, her eyes lighting up instantly.
"Yes, really." I took a step closer to the prison bars, closer to Malice, who took in the news, like a child one night before Christmas.
"Look, Malice, I'll only say that to you once." With one hand I started to lightly carress her tangled brown hair and she eyed me suspiciously. Then I started to pull on it in a painfully rough manner and continued: "I swear to God, if you harm her in any way, I'll make you regret that every single day for the rest of your miserable life!"
She whimpered from the pain, but still managed to laugh disturbingly.
"You're becoming more and more like your mother," she said and laughed again and I let go of her hair, thinking about her words.
"Ew, but don't try to hit on me now. You're way too old, that'd be so gross."
I think she expected me to be hurt, which didn't happen so she only looked at me dumbfounded.
"Come on now, Marie wants to see you." With that I opened the door and dragged her with me, Howard accompanying us.

Before we reached the room, I turned to Howard.
"Please make sure that nothing's gonna happen to her," I pleaded.
"I'll do whatever is necessary," he replied and gave me a warm smile.
"Thanks, Howard."
With one last murderous look, aimed at Malice, I left the castle.

I got me a horse and made my way to Crimson.
As I reached the kingdom, the place that had been my home all these years, without being an actual home, I felt a deep dark sadness weighing down on my heart.
The civilians I saw, all looked devastated, exhausted and broken, like mere shadows of themselves.

Next to the roadway I noticed an unconscious boy, probably about 11 years old. He was bleeding badly and the sight of him left me in sheer terror.
I climbed off my horse and kneeled down next to him. Feeling helpless and responsible at the same time, I cupped his face and looked for a pulse. Thank God, he really was just unconscious, but the state he was in, was severe nonetheless. Suddenly I remembered something and even 'though it might've been insane, I thought it was worth a try. So I took the knife out of my garter and cut deep into my hand, then I pressed it onto the wound on his chest and waited.
A bit breathless, he awoke again and his wounds started to heal.
"Hey, can you hear me?"
He looked at me wide eyed and nodded.
"How are you feeling?" I asked him concerned.
"I think I'm okay," he mumbled, while inspecting himself.
"What happened to you?"
He frowned thoughtfully.
"Uhm, I was fighting in the battle."
I stared at him in bewilderment.
"What? You? You were fighting in the battle? But you're like what - 11 years old? Oh my God!"
"I'm 12 already," he stated and pouted.
"Oh, uhm sorry," I mumbled, not wanting to hurt his pride. "Shall I get you home?" I offered.
"Thanks, that'd be nice."
I helped him get onto the horse and he guided me to his home.
"I've never done this before," he mumbled.
"What?"
"Riding a horse, I mean. I always wanted to learn that, but mom says, it's too expensive."
"Really? Well, I can teach you, if you want me to." I had always loved children, because they weren't as complicated as adults most of the time, I loved how direct they were and how lively. And seeing children happy was just a heavenly blessing.
"Woah, really?" He asked in excitement.
"Yes sure. What's your name by the way?"
"I'm Nicholas, but everyone calls me Nick."
"Nice to meet you, Nick. I'm Lissa."