When You Least Expect It

It's five days later since that mess of a day with Jade, from my breakdown to blurting out something I hadn't meant to. I was genuinely wishing that I had met Jade first. Even though we were in the same school, we ran in different circles and I don't really recall ever meeting her. If we had though, would we have dated? Would I be where I am now? Would Jade do what Melissa did? I guess I will never know. Jade has blatantly shut any kind of advances I made.

I haven't gone to Sliders or reached out to her, not that we've exchanged numbers, but I knew I could easily get it. The reason? I'm fucking embarrassed. Jade was completely accurate, I needed to seek help, and I did. I found a therapist, and actually had my first session yesterday. He was a kind man in his late forties, and while being cheated on is not something anyone wants to discuss, I felt myself opening up to him pretty easily. He gave me really good perspective. I also joined an online group for men, specifically for those who have been cheated on. Hearing or rather reading other men's experiences has really helped me feel....hope.

Sleeping with women felt like a good way to get my aggression out and a way to get back at my ex. In hindsight, I was being an insensitive prick to women who didn't deserve it. Well maybe some of them, because not all of them seemed to care. But that's not who I am. It's my lowest of lows.

Melissa has been a pain in my ass, constantly calling and leaving voicemails, which I delete without listening to. Unfortunately, I'm in the middle of too much right now to change my number but I have a feeling I am going to have a sit down with her to finally put things to rest.

I've been working long days trying to occupy myself and my mind. Tonight, I'm currently camped out on Vance and Chase's couch with Chinese and Jack & Ozzy's World Tour on TV. I have no idea how long I've been watching this hilarious show but Vance walks in the front door, so I know it's gotta be late. He quietly plops next to me on the couch, a waft of his cologne mixed with cigarette smoke invades my space. Obviously he just came from the bar which made me wonder if Jade was working. I wanted to ask but kept quiet watching Ozzy search for Jack in the grocery store.

"So" he drags out, "Jade asked about you."

"Oh yeah?" I try to keep my tone neutral, emotionless.

"Yeah, why is she asking about you Victor?"

"I dunno man." shrugging my shoulders, internally this thrills me.

"Please tell me you didn't mess around with Jade."

"I didn't mess around with Jade." I repeat and it's actually the truth. My curiosity won this round, "What did you tell her?"

"Just that you been working a lot."

I hum my approval, continuing to watch Ozzy still looking for Jack even though he's passed him twice. I laugh out loud.

"Whatever's going on, don't piss off my favorite bartender!" with that he stands up and leaves me alone on the couch again.