Finding Myself Again (Adopted by Markiplier)

memento mori. 

I sighed out in frustration, I'm getting kind of tired of everything going to complete shit in my life. Will things ever start looking up at this point? "Well let's go, I guess." I grabbed my phone off the counter and walked out onto the front porch. I heard Mark cleaning up in the kitchen and rushing to put his shoes on. I guess I did deny him the chance of eating breakfast, I banged my head slightly against the wood in guilt.

He swiftly exited the house and locked the door behind him. "Sorry I didn't give you a chance to eat," I muttered. He chuckled slightly as we walked down the steps and towards his car, "This is more important than food, I'll eat at the hospital." I nodded, still a little bit guilty.

The ride to the hospital was the same as all the other life-changing rides; quiet, uneasy, and tense. Both my parents are on their death bed, and there's nothing I can do about it. Maybe if I had let Mark know the extent of mom's use of alcohol this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if I pushed mom and dad to stay home instead of going out this would have been completely avoided. But then, what kind of daughter would I be to deny her parents a date night because of her own selfishness? I guess I'd rather be selfish for one night than to be left alone in the mortal world while my parents die.

The parking lot was empty today, almost a dreaded empty. We walked into the dark doors of the death building. Like earlier visits, there is no need to check into the reception. As we made our way to their room, something caught my eye. A loaf of bread was sitting in a basket on the floor in the hallway. It should have been passed off as nothing, but there was something about it that made me feel uneasy. I looked back for a moment, the markings on the bread were upside down. It's such a mundane detail, why does it seem so important?

The door that completely changed my life popped into view. As we entered the room, the beeps became ear piercing as I looked at the sight. Mom was laying in her bed, barely awake. Dad laid motionless, his chest slowly rising and falling as the machines kept him alive. I didn't even know what to say. "Mom..." I trailed off, I felt Mark's hand rest on my shoulders. She slowly opened her eyes, weakly motioning me to come towards her. I walked as if the floor were eggshells, scared to set the building ablaze. I sat on the chair next to her bed, a hole was etching into my heart. Mom grabbed my hands as if she wanted me to transfer my warmth to hers. 

"Karli, I'm dying. I'm going to die, you know that right?" I nodded. Her voice was just as weak as her body. "I don't want to die knowing that I haven't apologized for these last few weeks.  My actions are part of the reason why I'm dying right now. I'm not going to give you an excuse, because there's no excuse. Grief just affected me like that and I couldn't find the person I was, because, without your dad, I'm nothing. And as the ambulance carried me away I realized, I'm also nothing without you. And you're nothing without your parents." A silent tear dripped down my face as she talked. Her tender and shaky hand wiped it away and held my cheek. 

She continued, "I wish our last few weeks could have been better, but I'm happy to have my last moments spent with you. Promise me something?" 

"Anything," I responded. 

"You have so much potential, Karli. You have so much to live for. I know without a doubt that you'll eventually be happy. Not now, but soon. I can feel it. Promise me, that you'll live up to your potential and stay alive? For me, Dad, and Mark? For your friends?" 

I drew a shaky breath. "I promise." I wasn't sure how easy that promise could be. I'm not sure what this would entail for the rest of my life, but I don't want to let Mom and Dad down. Ever. 

"Mark will be fostering you for a while, and when the time comes, adopting you. You're okay with that, right?" I simply nodded, and she continued. "Everything legal is in the Will. I want you to keep the house, move into it when you move out of Mark's. Don't worry about finances. Everything will be okay. Everything will fall into place. You will never be alone, Karli." I gripped onto her hand tighter, as I tried to form words into my brain.

"I don't want to be here without you and Dad, I don't know how long I can do this."

"However long it takes." 

"I don't know what to say, mommy. I'm scared." Her lips formed upwards into a small smile, "I know you're scared, and that's okay. Literally how many 16-year-olds do you see going through something like this? You don't need to be perfectly sane right now." 

I pressed my lips together tightly. 

"I have an idea," Mark softly started, our eyes shifted towards his. "How about telling each other your favorite and least favorite memories of your family?" 

"Yeah sure," 

"I'll go first," mom started, "When you were about six, we went to a Mexican restaurant for your father's birthday. Soccer was playing on the little TV in the corner of the room. You were watching it as if it was more important than your food. After a while, you said: 'Wow! I didn't know adults could run!' God, that was hilarious." I laughed, the memory slightly finding it's way into my memory. 

"Yeah,  I vaguely remember that." I smiled at her, "Mine was watching 'Naked and Afraid' with you and judging their choices. Remember that girl that chose nail polish as her one item to bring? She was such an idiot." We laughed collectively for a moment.

"What about you, Mark?" Mom asked him, he quickly shook his head. 

"This is a moment for you, and your family."

"You are family. You've been friends with my husband, and you took care of my baby while I couldn't, despite all of your other projects going on. I think, by definition, that means you're family." 

He rolled his eyes, "We haven't known each other for that long, but I think my favorite thing about you is that you're genuine. You care so much about other people that you tend to forget about caring for yourself, which obviously you need to work on putting yourself first but it's the thought that counts." He told me with genuine emotion, and before I could respond, he looked towards Mom and Dad. 

"Although I haven't known you for very long, and it's been a while since I've seen your husband, I'm proud of the two of you. Everything you've done was for the benefit of your daughter, and I really admire that. I also hope to be in love with someone the way you guys are. It's real love. Not temporary."

Mom reached over and took Mark's hands. "You're 31. You have your whole life ahead of you." He smiled contently at her. 

A knock was heard from the door, a second later, 2 doctors and 3 nurses walked into the room. 

One doctor was short, she had large brown eyes, a small frame, and black, curly hair pulled up into a tight bun. The other doctor was of average height and build- except he had a large cart with a bunch of medical supplies with him.

Mom nodded to the doctors, they handed her a form, I'm assuming it's consenting to stop Dad's end of life care. She took the pen, and signed, her hand shaking slightly. Her hand lifted the form up to the doctor. She took my own hand, all three of us held dad's hand. 

"I'll see you on the other side, I love you." She spoke to him and kissed him one last time. 

Everything from that point seemed to happen in slow motion.  The nurses shut off the heartbeat monitor, silence encasing all of us. The life machine was the next thing to turn off. 

"Time of death: 13:45 and 13:50,"

They're both gone. 

(A/N) sorry for the long wait, I got unmotivated and extremely busy with school. ily