Always and Forever-SOOKAI

Soobin was ripped out of his memories as his door flew open with a bang. Standing in the doorway was his mom. She looked livid. Soobin wondered what he did this time. "Eomma? What is wrong?" He asked carefully.
His mom stormed towards him. "You... sitting in your room crying all day! It's sickening! Me and your father are tired of it. We're sending you to boarding school. We've had enough of you."
Soobin's whole world stopped. Boarding school? He couldn't go there. He'd be even more alone then he is now.
"E-eomma... please! I- I want to stay here I-"
His mother laughed sourly. "I don't give a damn what you want, Choi Soobin. Your going. And that's final. Pack your things, you will leave tomorrow morning."
And she marched out of the room.

Soobin had packed all his stuff in a small, brown, battered suitcase. It had belonged to his grandfather. Oh, how soobin missed his dear grandpa. He passed away when soobin was very young, about 8 or 9 years old. His grandpa was the only one who truly cared about soobin aside from... Jangmi.
Thinking about her physically pained Soobin. He crouched in a ball on the floor again. What had he done to deserve this life?
Maybe you shouldn't even have a life. Maybe...you should kill your self. Get it over with. It's not like anyone will miss you anyway.
Shut up.
Aw. Are you scared? Hurt? Offended? Good. It's all your fault Jangmi isn't here right now to save you. Everything your parents say to you is true. Your a horrible boy. Nasty, disgusting terrible boy. If your parents knew your big secret they'd hate you even more. If that's even possible.

Soobin ran to the bathroom. He felt sick. His stomach churned and the world spun. He grabbed onto the sink stating into his brown bloodshot eyes.
Maybe he was a disappointment.
His lips were to big, his waist was to big, his stomach was too fat.
He could go on and on about his imperfections. The only thing he could do to calm himself down was music.
He often wrote songs, and wanted to be a singer. His parents reminded him that could never happen.
"You really think that YOU out of all people could be a singer? No, no. Singing is for prissy people. You will do something to help the world. Like a doctor."
They would tell him.
He ran his hands through his tangled hair, wanting to rip it all out. Tears poured down his face as his voices reminded him how he wasn't good enough how no one could love him. He wanted to end it all right then and there. Soobin looked in the shower and found a razor. Taking it apart he removed the blade.
Hmm.. you sure you wanna do that?
Yes.
Do it then. I dare you. Your to scared anyway. Whimp! Coward!
Soobin slammed his head into the wall. "JUST SHUT UP!" He screamed. Crying with pure agony he slid down the wall. His chest was constricting and he couldn't breathe. Was this what dying felt like? No... soobin was having a panic attack.
The world spun, once again and it started to go black. He tried to remember what his sister would tell him when he got like this.
"Breathe, Soobinie.. just breathe. It's okay. Count to ten for me. Can you do that sweetie?"
Slowly soobin started to calm down. He sighed in relief. "Thanks once again Jangmi."

He looked down at his blade he took from the razor. Should he..? 
He grabbed the blade and put it over his wrist. He pressed down. Beads of blood appeared at the surface. He then made up his mind and slid the knife across his wrist fast. "Ouch!"
It burned. But after a few seconds he realized he liked the burn. It was calming in a way. Soobin watched curiously as the blood dripped down his arm.
He wanted to do it again.
So he did. Again, again, again and again until both his wrists were a bloody, cut up mess. He smiled. It was comforting to him. But he started to feel weird... his head hurt. He couldn't stand up. He cried out but no one heard his pleas. He slipped into unconsciousness.