― do over

It was only a matter of days before he woke up cuddling George in his sleep.

However, that didn't make it okay, or wanted, and he scowled at his stupid self.

But he looked so peaceful.

The brunette's face was tucked into the crook of his neck, his breath gentle and rhythmic. Clay's nose was pressed into his hair, and their warm embrace was everything comforting and perfect.

"I wish you could tell me," Dream whispered to no one. "Maybe it would stop the hurting."

If he was expecting a response, he didn't get one. He never thought he would, honestly. He removed himself from their tangled limbs, crawling out of bed with a sense of dread. He lazily got dressed and ready for the day, and much like a few days ago left George to his slumber.

Karl and Sapnap were talking at the kitchen counter, pointing to something on their phones. Karl looked up and smiled a big grin. "Dream!"

"Karl! And Snapmap, I guess," he huffed sarcastically, while Sapnap clutched his heart dramatically.

"We were gonna go out and look for a moose! Wanna go?"

Leave it to Karl to make something like animal watching exciting. But his grin was infectious, and he wasn't about to let Sapnap and Karl out of his sight. "Of course."

Thankfully Sapnap didn't ask about George. He wanted the brit to be the last thing on his mind today.

The heat was sweltering today, so it was a good day to get out of the house and in the car in Karl's book. Dream was left to drive once again, and Sapnap took every opportunity to criticize him.

"Your driving is as straight as you are!"

Karl, from where he sat in the front seat (Dream had quickly revoked shotgun privileges from Nick), spun around and gasped. "Sapnap! What the honk?"

"Did I lie?" He challenged right back, and Karl made a kissy face and noise at him.

"Takes one to know one."

Dream covered his mouth to stifle his laugh and Sapnap launched into another tangent and Karl nodded avidly, despite not giving a single care in the world. "Where are we going?"

Karl pulled up the map. "Bad said he saw one up the forest about twenty miles up that way. There's a bunch of dirt paths which is good for searching."

"What does a moose even look like?" Sapnap complained from the back seat, and both boys in the front took the luxury of ignoring him. "Hello? Guys? Don't ignore me. Oh my god."

Dream drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. He was anxious, but not sure for what. Karl stole the aux cord and began blasting music he didn't quite recognize, but it set the conversation into silence.

As much as he didn't want to think about George, he couldn't help it.

Every day for two years he blamed himself for everything. He beat himself up, he pinned the guilt on his own actions.

Because he knew it was. It had never been George's fault, had it? He should have never confessed to him, simple as that.

So why did we wake up cuddling?

Mere accident, he reasoned. Karl noticed the faraway look on his face and waved at him. "Ayo, eyes on the road, please."

"Sorry. Do you see one?" He looked briefly out Karl's window just as Karl did.

"No. They're supposed to be pretty rare though. But I have faith we'll see one."

He drifted away again, blank space in his mind providing plenty of room to overthink.