Strings (1 of 2)

[Emily's POV]

Nathan's breath tickles my neck as he plants kisses down my jaw and neck, toward my chest. I move my hands to his hair, trying to pull myself into the moment, into him, but I'm distracted.

I stare at the ceiling, biting my lip. I can't get rid of Dean's voice or his piercing eyes from my head. I can't unfeel his arms around me, his touch lingering on my skin where he touched it.

'Have fun, Em.' he said with a defeated look.

How? How do I have fun when you won't leave my head?

Nathan kisses down my stomach and I arch my back giving him more access, hoping this will bring me out of it.

It doesn't.

I don't know what this means. This has never happened with Nathan. It's normally just him and I, the rest of the world melts away outside our bedrooms. Why is Dean now in it between us?

Does this even mean anything? Maybe hugging him just confused me for a little bit... maybe this will pass... I hope.

This shouldn't be so confusing after all this time, after Ava, and after Nathan. I shouldn't be thinking about him with Nathan's lips on me. This isn't right...

I feel his mouth reach the waistband of my pants and then he sighs. He quickly pulls himself up and sits beside me on my bed facing me. His eyebrows furrow and his dark eyes stare into mine, trying to read my face.

"What's wrong?" He asks and my eyes widen a little involuntarily.

"What do you mean?" I play dumb.

"You seem distracted... are you not into this?" He waves his hand between us awkwardly and I immediately feel awful.

"It's not you!" I say quickly and I can see a little relief flash through his eyes. "I think I'm just tired from this weekend and work." I try to sound as convincing as possible.

He looks at me intently, from one eye to the other, probably trying to figure out if I'm lying. He nods after a second, accepting my answer. I guess, why shouldn't he? As far as he knows, I've never lied to him.

"Is that ok?" I ask hesitantly and his face relaxes a little, leaning back on the pillow.

"Ya... I'm not gonna force you or whatever." He replies and I look away back to the ceiling.

'Have fun, Em.' Dean's voice rings in my ears and I frown. Get out of my freaking head!

"Um... are you hungry?" I ask awkwardly, trying to fill the silence as we both just lie there half-naked, watching the fan blades spin.

"A little, I guess." He says and I smile gratefully at him and climb off the bed. I pull my black shirt back over my head to cover myself as Nathan lifts himself off the bed. We go downstairs in silence and I thank the universe for my parents being gone for the next few days, unable to catch this shirtless boy in our kitchen.

His toned abs ripple as he sits down on the chair and watches me with no expression. I smile awkwardly at him and turn to pull lasagna out of the fridge.

Think, Emily, think. What can I talk to him about?

I know. I smile as I plate the lasagna and stick them in the microwave.

"So, uh, how was work?" I ask.

As soon as the words leave my mouth I realize I don't actually know what he does for work. I know I met him outside the hotel and he said he was a server, but he must have another job as well that he works during the weekdays too. I doubt he was working at the hotel when I called today. I've never seen him work on the weekends since the night we met. I guess he could have gotten weeknight shifts since when we normally do our own thing.