Sejun's POV
I woke up with a start. I had not realized that I fell asleep.
The room was dark, illuminated by Ken's nightlight.
I took stock of what happened. My left arm was hooked with an IV fluid. My bedside clock read 1:15AM.
I looked to my right. Gab had fallen asleep while waiting for my IV fluids to be consumed. She had borrowed a chair from our study table and her head was resting on my bed.
My heart lurched at the sight of her. I remembered the days when Gab was on her first year as a family medicine resident. She was so tired after her duties that she would fall asleep wherever her head hits a flat surface.
I could not help but stroke her hair. It has been so long since I last touched her. Her hair was familiar to the touch.
I sighed, letting her silky mane fall over my fingertips. I had missed this. I had missed her. Even when we had spent every single moment bickering with each other, I did miss her.
"Miss mo?" Ken asked. I was not aware that he was awake.
Ken propped himself up on his bed. Stell was nowhere to be found.
"Why are you still up?" I asked.
Ken shrugged. "I was watching anime," he explained. Of course. Ken and his anime. An inseparable combination.
"I thought you hated her but I guess I was wrong," Ken commented.
"I don't hate her," I denied.
"I thought you did. You had screamed about how unfair life was last night. You pretty much told us to shut up because we would never understand what you're going through."
Memories of what happened the night before flooded my brain. I was tired. I was feeling sorry for myself. I had lashed out. After which, my digestive system decided to have a party of its own. I had spent what felt like hours in the bathroom.
"I'm sorry about last night," I told Ken.
I was genuinely sorry. The boys were concerned about me. No matter how I acted, they still cared. I had spent a good amount of time in the bathroom, and Justin, kind hearted Justin called Gab telling her about my predicament.
Even when I was mean to Gab everytime we met, she still came through for me. She had treated me well, making sure that I was well hydrated.
I began to feel a little bit guilty about how I acted.
"Don't worry about it," Ken told me. "We understand you, bro."
"I'm really Ate Chona, huh?"
Ken chuckled. "No worries, bro."
I looked at the bottom bunk. Stell was nowhere to be found.
"Where's Stell?" I asked.
"Stell is sleeping on the couch. He offered to let Doc Gab sleep on his bed so she can sleep comfortably but she's stubborn. I'm sure you know that. She insisted that she would sleep beside you."
My heart warmed at the thought. Gab still thinks of my welfare.
"So why is Stell not here?"
"Just in case Doc Gab changes her mind."
I nodded. I continued stroking her hair.
"You miss it?"
"Miss what?"
"The intimacy, the connection that you both used to share."
"I used to be her person. Now, she's-" I could not bear to finish my sentence. She's married. She's someone else's person. Someone that is not me.
My heart constricted at the thought.
"We should sleep," I told Ken. "Good night, Ken," I whispered.
"Good night, Sejun," Ken whispered back.
I closed my eyes, savoring the moment that I got to sleep beside Gab. It's been so long since I got to be near her. I had missed this.
I inhaled her hair, loving the way her scent tickles my nostrils.
I'm comforted that some things never change.
•
I woke up again at 7AM but Gab was nowhere to be found. The only evidence that she was here was the cotton ball that was plastered on my left hand where the IV cannula used to be.
I sighed, eyeing the cotton ball. She had left even without a goodbye.
I got up, anxious for a cup of coffee.
"Good morning," Justin greeted me as soon as I exited the bedroom. All 4 of them were already seated at the dining room table, eating breakfast.
"How's your stomach?" Josh asked.
"It's fine now," I answered, reaching for a piece of hotdog.
Stell smacked my arm and guided the plate away from me. "No greasy or oily foods for you."
"What?" No hotdogs for me? "Says who?"
"The doctor."
"Who?"
"Your ex."
My heart cracked.
"Stell!" Justin, Ken and Josh exclaimed together.
"Sorry," Stell said sheepishly.
I rolled my eyes and picked up a piece of bread. "Fine. Whatever." I had accepted my fate that Gab had left orders for them to strictly torture me with the no hotdog policy.
I sipped coffee from my mug.
The four of them were looking at me.
"What?" I asked, puzzled.
"Are you okay?" Stell asked me.
"Yes," I replied.
The four of them looked at each other.
"We did not mean physically. We mean...emotionally," Justin told me.
I sighed. "Did you hear us arguing last night?" I asked.
Josh shook his head. "No, but we had a hunch. We could feel the cold all the way from your bedroom."
"I'm sorry about last night," I apologized. I was sorry about how I acted. Gab was right. All my pent up feelings for the past seven years had erupted. I had poured out all the hurt last night. I had unloaded on the boys and on Gab. I hoped that there was none left. I don't want another episode of the Sejun as Ate Chona Reality Show.
Silence reigned at the table.
"I also would like to apologize to Gab. I'm going to her after breakfast," I informed them.
"That's good," Stell told me.
"I have to ask for her address from Cha," I muttered, munching on the bread. "I don't know where she lives."
"I do," Justin spoke up.
"Huh? Why?"
Justin scratched his head. "Well she arrived too fast last night. Like she was the Flash. So I asked her why and...."
"And?" I prompted, curious.
"And, well. Ummmm...."
"Just say it, Justin," Josh told him.
Justin sighed. "She was shocked too but Ate Doc and us live close by."
My eyes narrowed. "How close?"
"Like she lives one floor down. On the 18th floor?"
"What?!"
"We live in 1918, right? Well, she lives in 1818."
Fudge.
She lives one floor down from us. On the 18th floor. My golly.
Well, that saves me gas.
I nodded. "Alright."
•
I rang the doorbell to Gab's condo unit about 30 minutes later.
She opened the door a minute later. Gab seemed shocked to see me. "Sejun, what are you doing here?"
There it was again. She kept calling me Sejun no matter how many times I told her that her calling me Sejun hurts. It was like I was a stranger, like we have not shared a year of bliss.
It hurts.
"I came over to apologize," I solemnly told her. This was the second time that I had gone to her to apologize. I hope this does not become a habitual occurrence.
"Gab, who's there?" a voice came from behind her.
I did not have to guess who was in the condo unit with her. Of course it was Drake. They were married.
Ouch.
I wanted to bolt. I wanted to close my eyes. I hope the day would come that I would have the courage to face Drake and Gab together.
For now, I still need to gather my courage.
Because I am still weak.
I still want her. Very very much.
҉
Gab's POV
Sejun was staring at me, not saying anything. He had come over to apologize. This was the second time that he came over to apologize to me.
"Do you want to come in?" I offered.
Sejun shook his head. "I just really came over to apologize. I'm sorry about what I said last night."
I nodded. "It's fine," I assured him.
Sejun stared at me, not saying anything.
"Is there something else you would want to say?" I prompted.
"I would like it if you go to Korea with us," he said.
"I don't want you there," he had said to me last night. It had hurt. Hearing him tell me that he did not want to be with me hurt.
But I have to endure it. He had blamed me for breaking his heart. In a way, he was right.
"You should go," Drake whispered from behind me, listening in to our conversation. "You've never been to Korea, right?"
I faced Drake. He looked excited for me. "Shush. We'll talk later," I told him.
Drake just gave me a thumbs up sign. "I'll go prepare breakfast," he said and left me alone with Sejun.
I faced Sejun whose face has become sour. "Is there anything else you'd like to say?" I asked.
He shook his head. "I'm going now." Then he glared.
Why is he getting angry?
"Someone's jealous," Drake told me as soon as the front door was closed. "Did you see him glare at me? If looks could kill, I would already be dead."
"He was glaring at me," I corrected. Sejun was Ate Chona. As always.
Drake laughed. "No, he was not. You are so oblivious, Gab."
I rolled my eyes at him. "Shut up."
"Ever since you broke up with Sejun, you have become oblivious. Is this the result of being single?" he teased.
"Oh, shut up, Drake. Being single is a choice."
Like I had time to date. I was wallowing with a broken heart during residency. Then faced a pandemic on my final year. Then I decided to wipe the slate clean by going to Singapore. I never had time to date.
"Maybe he's getting the wrong idea. What if Sejun thinks that we're together?" I shuddered, horrified at the idea.
Drake laughed. "We are together, Gab," he said.
"You know what I mean," I replied.
"We are together in one house because Dani is clingy," Drake said.
"Do you want to be together?" I teased him, knowing full well what his answer would be.
Drake wrinkled his nose. "I don't go for women who are still in love with other men. Sorry."
It was my turn to laugh. Our friendship had blossomed into family. It was weird to ever think of Drake as a lover (gag) or a husband (gag).
"If it weren't for Dani, I would have already left," I reminded him.
Drake nodded. "I know. And I'm thankful that you're there. It has been a really tough time. What with her mom being gone."
Drake's wife, Dinah had succumbed to cancer when we were in Singapore. Dinah was a pediatrician and she finished her residency in the same hospital as me and Drake. It was cool that Dinah never got jealous of my friendship with Drake. Though, she knew about me and Sejun.
On our second year in Singapore, Dinah underwent intensive chemotherapy. We were unprepared for what happened next.
She died.
We were devastated. Drake had been left with a 2 year old Dani and so, I moved in with them so I could help take care of the kid.
I adored Dani so much and treated her like my own daughter. Though Dani knows that I'm not her real mom, she still calls me mommy. I was not bothered about it. Neither is Drake. Our friends were also aware of our arrangement.
It never became an issue.
"You should still tell Sejun that we're not together. What if he gets the wrong idea? What if that's the reason why he's so grumpy?"
"Well he should not assume things unless otherwise stated," I retorted.
"I'm serious, Gab. You should tell him," Drake reiterated.
I shrugged. "Ok," I replied.
I followed Drake to the dining room for breakfast, mulling over the thought that Sejun was okay with me to go to Korea with them.
I was going to Korea. I have always wanted to go.
I was also going with Sejun.
Though the sad part was, Sejun and I are not together anymore. We were broken up beyond repair.
I sighed.
I just hope that my trip to Korea would be a trip to remember. I just hope that Sejun and I won't be bickering every single chance when we're together.
I just hope for the best.