"I can't," She shook her head. "I just can't."
"Because Oliver isn't here?" Lilly asked straight to the point. Janie tensed up and Lilly nodded. "Bunny hasn't come out since Oliver passed away has she Janie?"
"I can't," Janie whispered as tears started to fall.
"Janie, Bunny was able to come out to Stephen, David, Michael, and William while Oliver was overseas, so why can't she come out with them now?" Lilly asked curiously.
"You know why," Janie whispered. "Please stop."
"I'm just trying to get you to see that Bunny can still come out and help you," Lilly said softly. "It will help you tremendously, that's all I'm trying to say. You have nothing to be ashamed for because of Bunny. It's a very natural and healthy coping mechanism."
"That's not it and you know it," Janie shook her head and wiped her tears away even though more spilled down her face.
"If you are talking about my nephews you have nothing to worry about," Lilly said softly. "They are Daddy Doms and would like to have another one, they just haven't found the right one that can handle all of them. You know what a crazy bunch they are."
"That's not it, Lilly," Janie shook her head.
"Then what is it?" Lilly asked gently pushing. "Talk to me."
"I can't," Janie said exasperatingly. "I can't!"
It finally dawned on Lilly, "You haven't been able to be Bunny since Oliver's death," She said softly. "Your mind won't allow you because he isn't here to help you slip." Janie nodded as she wiped more tears away. "Janie, how did you slip when Oliver was overseas?"
"I tried that Lilly, it doesn't work," Janie shook her head. "I tried pacys and bottles and cartoons. I could then because I knew the guys would care for me until he came back and he always came back but he isn't this time. My mind knows he isn't coming back so I can't."
"The last time Bunny came out was with Oliver wasn't?" Lilly asked and Janie nodded. "Bunny and you both haven't been able to grieve properly have you?" Janie shook her head and Lilly nodded. "That makes a lot of sense. You both need to grieve Janie, only then will you be able to let Bunny out. You have to grieve and Bunny has to grieve. Do you understand what I am saying?"
"I can't," Janie shook her head. "I have so much to do, I can't afford to break down right now."
"You need to," Lilly said, "It's not healthy for you to keep pushing and keeping everything bottled up. You will end up in the hospital sick if you don't. It won't hurt you to grieve."
"It's been two years Lilly," Janie shook her head.
"SO?" Lilly asked. "There is no specific time to grieve. You grieve when you grieve. You grieve today and tomorrow, you grieve right after a passing, hell you can grieve six months from now, or even ten years. You lost one of your soulmates as well as your baby, you have the right to break down and grieve whenever the hell you want to."
"Lilly," Janie whispered as her lips quivered.
"Cry Janie," Lilly said coming over to her and hugged her tightly. "Cry." Janie clung to Lilly and broke down. Lilly just held her as she let everything go. "That's it Janie, just let it go."
"It's not fair," She sobbed and Lilly nodded.
"It's not fair," Lilly whispered. "It's not fair one bit." She heard the front door open and looked up to see the eighteen men walk in quietly.
"I just miss him and our baby so much," She sobbed.
"I know," Lilly whispered as she gently rocked her back and forth. "Just let it out, keep grieving, Janie, you need to grieve so then Bunny can come out and grieve as well. You both need to grieve. Let it out."
"Just hurts so much," Janie sobbed.
"Oh Luv," Michael said rushing over to her.
"Mikey," She held her arms out and he picked her up. "It hurts."
"I know," Michael said softly as he ran his fingers through her hair. "It hurts us too."
Lilly stood and walked over to the group, "She hasn't grieved yet, did you know that?"
"No," William shook his head, "but it makes sense."
"She has to grieve. She has a block up, that's why Bunny hasn't come out," Lilly explained. "They both need to grieve but Bunny can't until she does. She's going to need your help coaxing Bunny out."
"Understood," William nodded. "Thank you."
"This still doesn't excuse you from your punishments," Lilly said and they nodded. Lilly left and they surrounded Michael while he held Janie as she cried her heart out.
Even after she cried herself to sleep he kept holding her. "Tomorrow is going to be a long and hard day," he whispered and they nodded.
"You don't have a problem with her being like this, do you?" Stephen asked protectively.
"No," Owen shook his head, "We are Daddy Doms, we have no problem with it whatsoever."
"Good," David nodded.
"We will help her any way we can," North said, "we can offer ideas and tips if you want. Anything we can do to help her we will."