I held the heavy basket tightly in my hands with two bottles of milk, bread, cheese, bacon, pancake mix, waffle mix, and cereal.
Despite it being fall, the sun was glaring outside and I wanted ice cream but there was not enough money for that. There were no groceries at home, and I couldn't always hold back the hunger until I got to work.
Mom had woken me up this morning with Rhianna's voice downstairs through the speakers. I had a shower and by the time I got downstairs, Tony was fucking my mom on the living room floor and I had simply grabbed my bag and walked out.
The sense of someone watching me crawled up my skin and I glanced over my shoulder to see a beautiful woman picking up a Nutella jar and reading the ingredients.
Nobody ever read the ingredients on a Nurella jar.
Her dark hair was twisted into a neat bun, and she wore a black suit, a pair of black heels, and her red bag on her shoulders as she held an empty basket. She glanced at me, a smile on her face which I returned before looking away.
I couldn't afford to buy fucking Nutella. The white envelope, I had stuffed it under my mattress before walking thirty minutes to the supermarket.
I walked out of the aisle, ignoring her stare on my back. Who the hell was she? I shook my head, remaining quiet and not wanting to act stupid if she said no she hadn't been staring. Heading to the till, I placed all the stuff on the conveyor belt and picked up one of the reusable bags that I hadn't had time to get from the house.
I started packing all the stuff in the back as the man scanned them quickly. "Card or cash?" He questioned, boredom clear in his voice.
"Cash." I said, opening my wallet and giving him thirty dollars from the two hundred I had saved.
I was definitely in a sinking ship. He gave me my change back and my receipt which I shoved into my bag before picking up the big bag and walking out through the automatic doors. It would be a long walk home with the sun glaring on me, but I didn't care. The wind blew through my straight hair as I glanced over my shoulder, feeling someone gaze on me.
The woman watched me, as she held no grocery bags in her hands. I frowned, turning around, ready to walk towards her and ask what the problem was just as someone honked.
I glanced at the five motorbikes who drove towards me and a massive smile appeared on my face as Joe pulled down the bandanna from his face. "What are you doing out here, Kid?" He glanced around. "You're supposed to shop at the local market."
"They ran out of waffle mix."
Andy chuckled from his own bike.
"Come on. I'll give you a ride home." Joe said, and I shook my head, lifting the bag of groceries up, ready to tell him, then had no space on their bikes. "Give that to Andy."
Andy nodded, throwing the stand down on his bike and waiting for me to come towards him. "Come on, I'll carry it."
"You have to promise that you don't drop it, okay?" I said, walking towards his huge Honda bike. I had no idea what type of bike it was other than a Honda. "It's got milk in it, so ride carefully over the bumps."
"Yes, Kid." He rolled his eyes, placing the bag in front of him, and hooking it to his bike. "I'm a 30 year old man who's been riding a bike for fifteen years. I think I know how to make sure everything gets to your house carefully." He chuckled as I grinned.
"Sorry." I smiled as he patted me on the head, ruffling my hair. I rolled my eyes at him before walking towards Joe who had made space for me behind him. I climbed onto the bike, my stomach slightly hurting from the lashes that I had received. They were healing with the antiseptic cream I kept applying.
"Ready?" Joe questioned as I wrapped my arms around him tightly, as much as I could over his big belly. I nodded my head, pressing my cheek against his back as I saw the woman on the phone, speaking to someone while watching me.
Joe purred the motorbike before racing down the roads. The wind blew through my hair but I didn't let go of his body. My dad had never been part of their gang but he always loved motorbikes. I had been afraid until that fear had left after my dad passed away. He had regretted so many things in life and life could be taken from anyone within minutes. There were things I wanted to do despite not the right time but riding a motorbike had been the first one.
Joe had taught me when I was seventeen. He had let me sit on his bike, and let me control it while he sat behind me, and it had felt nice for a time being but life had gotten so busy, there had been no time for me to stop and enjoy the little things in life.
I enjoyed the wind blowing through my hair as the Biker's raced one another, whizzing down the streets until Joe slowed it down, stopping right outside my house where Drew was playing soccer with the street kids.
Smiling, I climbed off the bike, as the little kids ran to the bikers. "Thanks." I hugged Joe tightly before kissing Andy's cheek and taking the grocery bag off him.
"They've been arguing, babe." Susan said, looking at me as I walked towards my house gate. I stopped as Joe and the others left. "It's been going on for an hour." I glanced at the grocery bag and she smiled at me. "Give it to me. When it's sorted, come and take it."
I nodded my head, lifting the bag up and over her house gate and handing it to her. "I'll go check what's up." I said to her before walking back to my house and opening the front door and walking inside.
"I can't believe she fucking did this, Maggie!"
"She's a bitch."
"What kind of fucking daughter does that."
"Imagine how much fucking shit we could get on this."
I dropped my bag near the stairs before standing in the doorway. My eyes widened as three of my mom's friends sat on the ground, counting the 100 dollar bills. "What are you doing?" I hurried inside, trying to take the money but Tony gripped my hair, pulling me backwards as I winced.
"Where the fuck did you get the money from, huh?"
"It's not mine!" I looked at my mom, the one who had promised and cried yesterday to say she would change but she wouldn't. She wouldn't ever change. "It's Mick's money. I-I had to hold onto it." I lied, letting out a gasp as Tony threw me onto the floor in front of the coffee table.
"Tell him you lost it." Mom grinned.
I whipped my head up as the men tried to take the money. "No!" I tried to grab the two bundles but a hand fisted in my hair, smashing my head against the coffee table.
I let out a cry, just as someone knocked on the door. "Emily? Sweetie? Are you okay?" Susan called out, knowing on the door as darkness gathered in my sight.
I reached up and touched my forehead that stunk. Blood coated my fingertips as the men stood up with all the money, shoving it into their jackets. "Mom, please. It's not my money."
She threw money onto my body, shaking her head as if she was disgusted with me. "Shove that up Nick's ass." A grin appeared on her face as Tony grabbed her hand. "We're going on a holiday." They walked out of the living room and I called out after her.
"Mom please!"
Their laughter was my answer as they walked through the front door, leaving me alone with money scattered around me. I leaned against the couch, feeling the tears falling from my eyes. It was gone. It was all gone and I would have no way to pay it back.
"Oh Emily." Susan gasped, hurrying towards me. She pushed the coffee table away kneeling in front of me as she stared at the blood on my forehead, her eyes wide.
"It doesn't hurt." I muttered, wiping my face from the pathetic tears that continued to fall. I was tired of lying constantly for the woman who I called my mom. "I'm fine." I wasn't fine. I was hurting, I was drowning.
"Let me get the first aid kit."She sighed, getting up and walking out of the house, shouting again to Drew to bring it from her own house.
I stared at the money on the ground. She had taken everything, leaving a thousand dollars as if that was enough to cover 2 months worth of rent. Susan came back with the first aid box as I stood up, shaking my head. "I'll clean it up myself." I spoke quietly. "I need to go upstairs." I walked past her and straight upstairs to the bathroom where I locked the door, shutting myself out of the world.
***
"Oh fuck sake come on." I groaned, trying to drag the barbecue up the basement stairs. "How the fuck did I get you inside?" Sweat coated my forehead where I had cleaned up the wound and plastered it up.
Three hours had gone by and mom had not come back. She was gone, leaving me alone to worry and stress about her but I didn't want to. It was my day off from work and I had said fuck it to every goddamn problem in the world.
I had left the house and gone shopping again, using a taxi instead of wasting my time. Susan had asked where I was going, but my answer had been short. I'll be back later. I came back with four big bags of frozen stuff to barbecue, as well as drinks, and a lot of junk food. I bought Nutella, three jars worth of Nutella, using the money in my bank.
Whoever had told me to spoil myself, I had listened.
"Come on." I held the big barbecue, trying not to loosen the grip.
"Hey Kid, you called?" Joe entered the house.
"Help."I gasped and he quickly moved towards me, gripping the barbecue as I let it go. I let out a laugh as he easily lifted it up, letting it stand. "Thanks."
"Don't tell me you're getting this out?" He chuckled, frowning at the pink plaster on my forehead. "What happened?"
"Whacked myself against the door." I muttered and quickly changed the conversation. "Can you help me take it outside? I went shopping and got everything we all love. Are they all here?" I questioned.
He nodded his head, picking up the wet cloth I had draped over the railing and started to clean the barbecue. "The whole street is out. Susan is getting the speakers ready." He said and I smiled as I heard Footloose being played outside in the streets. "She's plugged it in." He chuckled, moving the barbecue towards the door, calling Brett, one of his friends to help him.
I handed Brett all the frozen meat and vegetarian options as well before heading upstairs to my room to grab my phone. I had changed, wearing my pink Minnie mouse pyjamas for comfort. I held the phone in my hand and hurried back downstairs to the kitchen where I picked up the spoon and the Nutella jar before walking out the front door.
A big smile appeared on my face. This was my family. Mary and Tom were dancing in the middle of the road, under the street lights. It was dark, but it was seven in the evening only. I sat down on my house stairs and watched as Joe fired up the barbecue, slapping on the burgers.
The children raced after one another.
I scooped up some Nutella and licked it off the spoon, enjoying the taste. I had paid Nick the rent, using the money from my account and he had raised an eyebrow. Have you sold a kidney? I had laughed and said I would try to pay him in advance for the next month as well and then I had gone to get things for the barbecue.
My phone vibrated with a message in my lap and I shoved the spoon back into the jar before picking it up.
A key will be delivered to you tomorrow x
I frowned at the number and without thinking, I rang it, placing it against my ear as the song changed and people danced and set the tables out. A few seconds passed but nobody picked up the phone.
Who is this? I texted back quickly.
"Come on, Emily." Tom held his hand out to me. "Let's dance." He grinned. I returned the smile, shoving my phone into my pocket as I held his hand and walked out into the lively neighbourhood that once again felt like my dad was alive.
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