after yeonjun's graduation ceremony, the whole friend group wanted to have dinner to celebrate. after all, it wasn't everyday when someone in your friend group graduated from the most disgusting place on earth.
they settled on yeonjun's favourite ramen restaurant, which, in beomgyu's opinion, wasn't the best. but has he ever complained whenever yeonjun requested for it? no he did not. seeing his hyung happy was enough to gaslight himself into thinking that it sold the best ramen ever.
when they sat down inside the restaurant, the waitress placed 4 menus on the table, and bowed at them before leaving. beomgyu sat at the far end of the table, so he was left without a menu. he sat there quietly, not saying anything but instead observed his little friend group.
yeonjun seemed to notice that beomgyu didn't have a menu, and beomgyu expected him to call for the waitress to give him another one, but instead, yeonjun dragged his chair next to beomgyu, and offered him the menu.
"wanna share?" yeonjun asked, smiling at the younger.
even though yeonjun was smiling, the awkwardness was definitely hanging around in the air. beomgyu tried to ignore it and nodded, acknowledging yeonjun's question. yeonjun beamed at that, and shuffled even closer to beomgyu.
it had been a while since they sat this close to each other, and it felt weird since they used to be able to sit on each other's laps daily, but being an arm's distance with yeonjun felt so weird now.
the waitress came back to place their orders, and everyone ordered, except for beomgyu.
"beomgyu?" yeonjun nudged, which was a sign that beomgyu should order something.
"i..i'll pass for now." beomgyu stammered, and the waitress nodded, while the other 4 boys stared at beomgyu, slightly concerned.
"you should eat something beomgyu." soobin said, eyebrows furrowing in concern.
"yeah, eat a little bit." hueningkai added on, pouting cutely at beomgyu.
yeonjun seemed to notice beomgyu shift uncomfortably under the questions, and he spoke up.
"i'll share with him, it's fine."
beomgyu's eyes slowly shift to look at taehyun, and taehyun stared back at beomgyu, frowning a little.
and then beomgyu felt bad.
—————————————————————————
beomgyu ended up eating only 5 mouthfuls of ramen and 1 gyoza, and the others didn't protest at that.
on the way back home, beomgyu and yeonjun left together while taehyun went to soobin and kai's house to stay over for the night. the walk back was slow, excruciatingly slow for beomgyu.
"you okay?" yeonjun asked, and beomgyu merely nodded, and didn't talk.
yeonjun didn't seem to take that as an answer, and he grabbed onto beomgyu's wrist, making him stop.
"i was just thinking," beomgyu mumbled.
"about?" yeonjun pressed on.
"about what to say in my graduation. mr kim chose my artwork and asked me to present it to the people there."
"oh your artwork! the one that you worked so hard on. why are you stressed about it though? just speak from your heart."
just speak from your heart.
but what if his heart weighed a thousand bricks that pressed down on him because he refused to let go of his feelings for yeonjun?
"you never told me what your artwork meant, maybe if you asked me i could give you some inspiration." yeonjun continued after noticing that beomgyu wasn't responsive.
he can't know about the meaning yet. beomgyu wanted it to be a surprise.
"it's fine, i can do it myself." beomgyu said, and he smiled at yeonjun.
yeonjun still seemed unsure, but he slowly let go of beomgyu's wrist and continued walking, deciding to stop pressing on.
and beomgyu walked slightly faster to catch up with yeonjun's wide strides, until they started matching their steps as if they were kids again.
—————————————————————————
beomgyu's graduation was the week after yeonjun's, and he received his examination results back just two days before he graduated. to nobody's surprise, he aced everything.
"our beommie is a genius." soobin commented, gawking at beomgyu's spotless report card. taehyun was equally impressed, and hugged beomgyu extra tight that day to express how proud he was. hueningkai made a huge deal over beomgyu's grades, and nearly broadcasted it to the whole entire school if only taehyun didn't stop him from doing so.
yeonjun on the other hand, just texted beomgyu a simple 'i'm proud of you🤍', but beomgyu was still contented regardless.
he wasn't particularly concerned about his results, his mind was busy preoccupied with his presentation. he didn't want to embarrass himself on stage, and right now it felt as if he was on the track to just stammer on stage.
mr kim was very supportive of beomgyu. he read his storyboard in front of beomgyu a few days ago, and by the end of it, he had lunged onto beomgyu and given his the longest hug that a teacher has ever given beomgyu.
"this is the cutest thing i have ever read. i think i might just cry when i see you on stage." mr kim said once he detached himself from beomgyu.
"but mr kim-"
"call me taehyung hyung, or taetae even. you calling me mr kim makes me feel insanely old."
"i'm not confident."
mr kim—or rather taehyung—just frowned at that.
"just speak from your heart."
it was as if the world was playing a gigantic prank on him, because everything seemed to revolve around choi yeonjun.
——————————————————————————
beomgyu was backstage when he was greeted by all of his friends, which helped decrease his nerves by a lot.
taehyun shoved another bouquet of flowers into beomgyu's hands and beomgyu immediately gushed. he loved flowers.
"yeonjunnie hyung chose them." taehyun said, and beomgyu let out an "oh", looking around and trying to find the oldest, but he was no where to be found.
did he ditch the whole thing?
"relax, he's saving us seats, he didn't ditch you." hueningkai commented, which earned a slap from beomgyu. soobin roared out a laugh, and hueningkai glared at the older.
"we have to run back, it's starting." soobin said, grabbing the youngest two and pulling them away, "good luck gyu!"
beomgyu stared at them disappear into the crowd, before placing the bouquet of flowers on an empty table nearby.
they were tulips, and beomgyu's favourite flowers were tulips.
he wondered how yeonjun knew.
——————————————————————————
"and now, it's time for our art showcases!"
the graduation ceremony was about to end, and beomgyu was the last one to go on stage to present before the whole graduation closed, so that was even more pressurising.
he had a script written out, rewritten a million times and had it memorised fully in his brain.
"unlike other years, there was only one artwork chosen by our new art teacher, mr kim taehyung. may i ask why you only chose one, and what made you want to chose that piece?"
"this piece may look simple, but there are different meanings to it that enhances and brings the whole art piece together. the storyboard was really touching, and i hope that the artist behind it will be able to articulate his feelings out in words." beomgyu heard taehyung explain, and hearing that made his heart warm.
"sounds interesting! may i ask you to describe the artist so that the audience may know who it is?"
that was beomgyu's cue to get ready.
"he's someone who is quiet, and kept to himself. however, when you get to know him, he has a very charming personality that not many people notice. i gave him some advice before today, and that was to speak from the heart instead of trying to memorise a script. and i hope by doing so, he can gain confidence."
"let's invite out choi beomgyu!"
as he was stepping out, the script that was stuck in his brain seemed to slowly leave him bit by bit, and he looked in the crowd trying to find a very special someone.
and that special someone was sitting somewhere near the back, eyes never leaving beomgyu's and he flashed him a fond smile, a smile that he always gave him since they were kids.
and beomgyu's heart warmed at that.
the hall quietened down, and beomgyu started to talk.
"this artwork was centred around love. love can be in terms of romantically and platonically, but either way, it's simple definition is a deep affection towards something or someone. for me, the artwork was based on someone, both romantically and platonically."
his eyes slowly drifted to taehyung's, who was sitting at the front row. taehyung gave him a wink, and he had to stifle the laugh that was very close to leaving his throat.
"he was my childhood friend, and until now, we are still friends. he was everyone's dream son, dream brother, and dream friend. everything was lovable about him, his personality was very outgoing and friendly, and his features are extremely pleasant to look at. but what attracted people the most were his eyes."
beomgyu stole a quick glance at yeonjun, whose face was extremely hard to decipher. there was happiness, yet longing at the same time.
"his eyes held galaxies, and it also was an indication of his feelings. he communicates though his eyes, and not many people seem to take notice of it. it was years ago when i first realised that i had a crush on him. it just clicked, and from that day on, i never stopped loving him."
beomgyu stopped talking and took a deep breath, the reality of the situation slowly sinking in. he was letting everything out, for the first time, in a packed auditorium.
"he was happy majority of the time. his eyes would light up with euphoria before he would start giggling, before the giggles turn onto heaps of laughter. his laughter was contagious, and before long i would start laughing too."
beomgyu's eyes wavered to yeonjun again, and he was still staring at beomgyu, just that this time they were softened.
"i call those days sunny days. i would visualise myself as a seagull and him as the ocean. i would be flying above the ocean, wanting to dive deeper into the ocean as it looks so peaceful from my point of view, where things are carefree and peaceful." beomgyu said, gesturing to his artwork.
half of the bottle was a calm ocean, with a seagull flying above it, and the other half was a rocky sea, with the seagull drowning within it.
"however, as you can see, it is not always sunshine and rainbows. one day, the seagull decided to dive deeper into the ocean, only for it to start raining and swept the seagull into the ocean's waves."
"the first time i've felt terrified being around him was this year, when he lashed out at me. we never fight, and even if we do, we resolve it within a few hours. but this fight lasted way longer than expected. he said some things that were hurtful, but i admit that i was in the wrong for not confiding and talking to him about my issues."
"don't you dare call me hyung ever again."
time has passed since then, but yeonjun's words still lingered in beomgyu's mind.
"he sent me a voicemail a few days after not contacting me, and he cried. i remembered feeling like utter crap that day when i played the voicemail, and we met up to apologise. things went downhill after that too, and we both said things that we both regret until today."
"you are a monster."
"we patched things up, and some time passed when we started dating."
once he said that, the whole auditorium gasped, and some squealed.
"i was happy. i thought that my feelings were not one sided, and they were reciprocated. he did make me feel loved, but after confirmation that we were together made me even happier. he always looked out for me, making sure i was okay since i always had the tendency to be overwhelmed easily. being together was something that made me really happy. however, we broke up."
the hall now went silent, and some people 'aww'ed to show their pity.
"i would not describe the details, but it was practically insane. both of us were pretty much sobbing messes during that week. even though we ended on rocky terms, i guess it was for the better. i've been healing, and my feelings are still there for him, and i think they will stay here for a long while."
beomgyu stared into yeonjun's eyes, and noticed that they were damp. he did a good job suppressing it, trying to keep his smile up to try and hide whatever emotion he was feeling.
"we haven't fully patched up yet, but he is here today, so i want to take this opportunity to say things that i want to say before i chicken out."
"he will forever be my favourite eldest hyung. ever since day 1, i will always admire him for being him."
"i love seeing him smile fondly at stray cats and dogs before bringing then back home, only for them to he rejected by his mother because of her allergy to pet fur."
"i love seeing him finish a whole bowl of ramen within minutes, because of how much he likes it."
"i love seeing him whine to his parents about wanting siblings so he wouldn't be lonely, before crashing over in my house to have impromptu sleepovers while he complains to me about only having me as his 'brother'."
"i love seeing his disgusted face whenever he accidentally eats cilantro and washing it down with a whole glass of water."
"i love how tender hearted he is, he is very easily touched and tears up often when watching films or rewatching old videos of his friends."
"i love his passion for dancing, and how he takes it seriously despite so many people judging him for going down his route."
"and finally, i love him most because he is very genuine and stays true to himself. i know he is often pressured to be perfect in everyone's eyes, but hopefully after this he would love himself too."
beomgyu stopped talking, not knowing how to end it off. he took a final look at yeonjun, who was covering his mouth with his hands, eyes visibly even more glassy than before.
"i love you hyung."
——————————————————————————
yeonjun didn't even know where he was going. his legs took control of his entire body, and they were dragging him to backstage. the others were cheering for beomgyu, so they covered him, which allowed yeonjun to be able to run backstage without anyone noticing.
he immediately bumped into beomgyu backstage, and instantly lunged onto him, beomgyu's scent instantly filling his nose.
"what was that?" yeonjun mumbled, soft enough for beomgyu to hear.
"is it going to be a tradition from now on to cry at each others' graduations?" beomgyu joked, hugging yeonjun tight.
"i didn't cry." yeonjun lied, pulling away with a pout on his face.
beomgyu laughed, and cupped his hands around yeonjun's face, wiping his tear streaks away.
"liar, you're literally crying now," beomgyu said, "the oldest but the crybaby with the softest heart."
yeonjun playfully smacked beomgyu, and the younger exclaimed exaggeratedly.
"i love you too," yeonjun said after a while, and beomgyu just smiled to himself. "i'm sorry that i hurt you."
beomgyu doesn't respond, but yeonjun knows how he felt. he didn't have to say it back for yeonjun to know that beomgyu loved him.
maybe they will be okay.
——————————————————————————
a/n: a bit of an abrupt ending but yuhhh
actually maybe i should have mentioned this but there is no way they can actually date each other from this point onwards, so if you were expecting and yeongyu ending then i apologise:((
the ending is kinda sloppy because i kind of gave up in the end ㅠㅠ but i'll probably redo it later on~
christmas is coming?? oh god time passes so quickly:((
thank you for reading🤍🤍