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sorry wrong number

By theonelonelygiraffe

396K 11.6K 4.1K

the cliche story where peter accidentally texts the wrong number, and the wrong number happens to be iron man... More

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
Not a chapter
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28
Part 29
Part 31
Part 32

Part 30

2.1K 86 39
By theonelonelygiraffe

earths greatest and stupidest heroes

Iced Americano:

Ok team, today is the day!

wing guy:

jesus christ cap it is way too early for whatever this is going to be

nat:

shut up sam

you have no idea how much i need this

Iced Americano:

As we all know, today is the day

too fast:

actually no

we have no idea what this is about

Iced Americano:

The day we meet Peter

wing guy:
who the fuck is peter?

Iced Americano:
Language!
Anyway, today is the most important thing we will ever have to do in our hopefully long lifetimes

Mischief Managed:
speak for yourself peasant
i just bought a pet llama last week so you can take your pep talk and shove it where even Heimdal can't see it

Thor Odinson:
Please ignore my brother
His newly acquired llama seems to have a nasty habit of spitting on him when he's asleep

Mischief Managed:
DONT YOU DARE SPEAK ILL OF PEDRO
he's only checking if i'm still alive
better then whatever you did

Iced Americano:
Uhhh ok, moving on

We must be vigilant on how we act from today onwards

guy in the vent:

what if he hates us????

what if he realises that we're actually really uncool??????

has anyone considered the fact that we are the most dysfunctional group of humans and some non-humans to ever exist????

but on a totally different topic we should totally start a band

nat:

clint you're losing it 

take five and come back with a clear head

you can't keep suggesting to form a band every time you freak out

metal arm:

yeah cause who would the lead singer be anyway?

none of us can hold a tune 

and what would a band be without a singer?

guy with the wings:

ok this conversation is making less and less sense 

someone explain

hermione granger:

sam we all know that none of them are going to explain anything

they're being dickheads

Iced Americano:

Language!

Tin Can:

Ok guys I'm here

Is anybody else freaking out?

too fast:

about the fact that we are being repeatedly ignored making me wonder if whatever this is, is actually illegal

Thor Odinson:

Captain America doing something illegal so passionately seems not right

wing guy:

however nat? doing something illegal? that seems perfectly on brand

nat:

I SEE YOUR MESSAGES SAM
YOU BETTER RUN

Tin Can:

guys? 

is freaking out on the table?

guy in the vent:

well i was 

and then i was forced to calm down

Tin Can:

did you bring up the band?

guy in the vent:

... yeah

and then nat shot me down 

metal arm:

well she's just salty cause we didn't make her lead singer

nat:

I SEE YOUR MESSAGES TOO BUCKY AND I WOULD START RUNNING AS WELL

and anyway i don't understand why you guys are freaking out?

we already decided that we wouldn't make contact

or at least for a while

right guys????

Tin Can:

...

guy in the vent:

...

Iced Americano:

...

metal arm:

...

hermione:

is anybody else getting more and more concerned by all these conversations?

too fast:

yup

Mischief Managed:

honestly, i don't care

Thor Odinson:

he means yes

nat:

guys we know this is how it has to be

Tin Can:

Yeah we know Nat

but...

what if we meet him?

you know by accident?

Iced Americano:

Everyone knows you don't do anything on purpose Tony

guy in the vent:

ok but what about hypothetically...

Tin Can:

Yeah what if we just run into him?

I need to make a good impression

metal arm:

I think we all do

He's our little ball of sunshine, we can't scare him off

Mischief Managed:

wait are they talking about a dog?

too fast:

maybe?

nat:

yeah yeah yeah

plus i kinda just wanna give him a hug

you know after all the stabbings and stuff

hermione granger:

ok so maybe not a dog?

Mischief Managed:

i mean as sad as it is, dogs can get stabbed


Tin Can:

plus i really want to blow up stuff with him

you know pass down some of my wisdom

none of you weirdos want to join me anyway

wing guy:

ok so probably not a dog

Mischief Managed:

well it still could be

wing guy:

i don't know what crazy dogs you have

but down here our dogs don't help blow things up


Iced Americano:

Don't worry Tony

I think it will all be fine

He's still willingly texting us

and Stephen mentioned that he loves Tony Stark

Tin Can:

Well who doesn't

nat:

either way it's only his first day tomorrow

so it doesn't really matter, cause we probably won't see him

and when we do we WILL make a good impression

I wouldn't worry too much

Tin Can:

BUT WHAT IF WE DONT

nat:

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER TONY

WE'RE THE GODDAMN AVENGERS

Iced Americano:

Language!

nat:

we handled Loki and his crazy

I'm pretty sure we can handle befriending someone

Mischief Managed:

so it's a person

tin can:

Ok ok ok

It'll be fine

He'll like us

We're cool

yeah 

guy in vent:

hell yeah we are

but you know what

we'd be cooler if we were also a band

everyone:

WE ARE NOT FORMING A BAND CLINT


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