~*~Ryan's P.O.V.~*~
It was Friday the 23rd of December and Rosehill's lane, one of Rosevalley's shopping districts, was full of Christmas shopping enthusiasts. The street was decorated with Christmas decorations and Christmas trees, beautiful lights and music played outside the shops.
With my nose buried in a long shopping list, I was dragged down the street, kept from bumping into people or lampposts by a patient and caring Reed who with his arm hooked in mine and his other hand full of shopping bags, led me from store to store.
Since we were quite busy with the claiming drama, we hadn't had time to buy any Christmas presents. And because I LOVE to go shopping, I begged Reed to bring me to town, so we got our shopping done.
Like the noble twat he is, he claims how he doesn't need anything from me as a gift, how he already has everything he needs in me and our, ugh, thing. But I still want to give him something even if I didn't need anything in return, and I already knew what I was going to give the love of my life. It wasn't bought but inherited from my grandma.
"Now we're going to find Christmas presents for Becca, Chad, the kids and something for your mother," I hummed, almost tripping on my feet as Reed was forced to quickly pull me away from a man on a bike. "More than half of everyone is done."
"People should be careful!"
"Yeah, maybe a helmet?"
"For which of them?" He glared after the man. "Cycling when there is a lot of snow is just idiotic."
"Chad, to protect his brain from more harm. You know, his brain cells aren't that working."
"You should be kind around Christmas."
"Tell Thor that!" I huffed while looking into a shop window on a bunch of incredibly ugly figurines depicting what I thought was a loving couple on a bench, but mostly looked like someone trying to strangle another. "If anyone, he lacks Christmas spirit!" Reed placed a gentle hand to my lower back, caressing it slightly.
"My mother isn't interested in material things but loves chocolate fudge and salted caramel."
"If we buy it, we can wrap it in cute wrapping."
"She would love it even more if there was a rhyme."
"Ooh," I cooed, beaming up at him before clearing my throat. "During Christmas when I want to taste something sweet, some chocolate fudge brings me back to my claiming heat. But to quench the thirst for the salty lollipop I adore, let this caramel make me a horny,"
"That's enough!" Reed burst, chuckling.
"It was a good one!"
"Sure, let's find a store which sells that."
"Like the sex shop?" I tried not to grin at him. His face said all about what he was thinking. "There is one further down, let's take the music store first!"
I couldn't help but smile smugly over all the looks that fell on us where we walked even if it made me feel unease at the same time. We were officially a couple now, especially now that our claiming counts for what it is, legitimate. There was no external threat anymore, even if I was afraid that something would happen.
Reed was my mate and mine only and knowing that made me both proud and horny. I leaned against him, my head against his shoulder as I with a huge smile followed him down the street until we reached the music store.
Becca had finally started talking to us again since she got locked up in juvenile detention, although she still blames us for her being there. She had briefly mentioned that she was now learning to read and write sheet music, so I thought we could give her sheets to be able to compose her own music.
Since I no longer had an income and was a stay at home... I blushed, then pouted. Was I about to think stay-at-home-mom?! Fucking shit! I was everything but that! I was a slave, a fucking sugar baby rather!
I tore a book with sheets to me and opened it. Even if it wasn't a conscious thought about the thing, it annoyed me how such comments were close at hand for me.
"What is it?" Reed asked.
"What?!" I hissed under breath.
"Your shift in emotions."
"I just almost thought a stupid thought."
"Okay... Something you want to talk about?"
"No, this one is good." I carried the book towards the check-out. "We'd like to have this wrapped, please."
"Of course, sir," the cashier said politely. "Would you like a tuning key too? We have a sale on them."
"Yes, please," Reed replied with a smile. I smiled up at him. "Ryan's sister sings beautifully."
"Then she deserves one!"
When we had found fudge and toffee to Mrs. Hook we continued our shopping spree. We found some Christmas three decorations representing wild animals where there were three different wolf motifs in all possible colours. We bought all they had before heading out to find a store for Chad's and the children's gifts.
"Maybe we can find something for Luka and the other kids here?" I looked up as Reed stopped in front of a toy store. "Juliet has wanted a unicorn since she overheard us talking about the rave and how you were a cute one." I smiled.
"I am badass at finding unicorns! They are my true kin! No crazy weird men, no stupid or wicked ideas. Just pure awesomeness and sparkling stuff!"
When we entered the large store, we were greeted by a feeling of fairyland. There were toys and plushies EVERYWHERE. I forced Reed to get a shopping cart in which he put all our gift bags so that he didn't have to carry them.
First came the aisles with toys for the older children. We found a shelf dedicated only to unicorns and with a mischievous laugh I grabbed the biggest unicorn plushie I could find. I could barely carry it. I hugged it to my chest while grinning at Reed who raised a brow sceptically at me.
"No."
"But she would love it!"
"It's too big!"
"No, not at all!"
"It barely fits in the car."
"Reed, Christmas is for spirit, love and kindness. For dreams to come true!"
"Why not take several small ones?"
"Instead of this badass motherfucker?! Do you think I would prefer several small dicks instead of your huge,"
"Ryan!"
"Sorry, but this one or no one!" I forced it down the cart. It took up all the free space and hung over the edges.
"Lord," Reed mumbled. "What do you think Jack wants?"
"Nothing from a toy store, I can tell."
"He's a cub."
"A teen, Reed. Everything he wants is in a gaming store or something."
"Aren't there games here too then?"
"Maybe Yatzy or stuff like that, but his kind of games I bet is in a true gaming store."
"Alright, I get it. If you're looking for something for Luka and Ivan who are about the same age, I can look for something for Susie and Hannah."
"Sure thing. But I want to see that unicorn still in the cart when I come back!"
Reed disappeared around the corner as I took off towards the toddler section. If I remember correctly, Noah mentioned how Luka is fond of those stacking bricks in happy colours. Boring to buy but maybe there was something for the same purpose but in a different shape?
I passed a young couple standing and inspecting cribs. I glanced at them while looking at some frankly cute little baby socks. I couldn't resist touching them. They were soft, cosy. Luka used to lose his all the time, too big for his tiny feet.
"A round crib would be nice," said the young woman whose belly was huge. It looked like she could give birth at any second. "It would fit in the corner by the dresser."
"But a traditional one he can use longer."
"No look, the round one is extendable."
"Although it is forest green..."
"Maybe it comes in blue? More of a boy colour."
I rolled my eyes at the woman's comment. Why does everything have to be so gender-stereotypical?! If my baby was a boy he could easily have a pink crib and... But I don't have a baby.
I scowled, looking down at the tiny socks in my hands. But if I had one, it would have socks like those. And maybe a cute little beanie. I blushed. There was a whole outfit matching those socks.
When the couple left, I walked up to the round crib. I let a hand trace over it, reaching down to feel at the grey fabric inside it. A round crib would be nice actually. You could hang a bed canopy over it with strings of lights and a hanging children's mobile like those with cute clouds or some shit. Or why not tiny wolves and stars? We could have cute plushies and pillows for him.
I liked the forest green colour, but maybe a dark wood like our bed would have been better? With red fabric so it matches ours. Yeah, with golden threads and a soft blanket. A fucking royal crib! Suiting our unique baby. If I had one.
I looked around to see if they had any baby nests. I remembered how Vendela used to have one for Luka so he could sleep in the bed between them in the beginning, being close.
If I had a baby, it would sleep in my arms the whole night. Okay maybe in such a nest, but anyway. A baby should be close, skin to skin and... Why even think about that shit?! I wasn't pregnant! It's just a stupid thought and something other people claim about me! A fucking blood test and scents can't decide.
I turned my back at the cribs and hurried off to the shelves with bricks to stack. I found two sets of pastel-coloured blocks with animal motifs that we could give to Luka and Ivan.
On the way away from the toddler section I stopped and hurried back to the stand with the cute socks. I reached for the ones I had held earlier, blushing while gritting my teeth in frustration.
They were simple white with grey dots but looked adorable. If I bought them, I would confirm the pregnancy everyone claims I have. How the thing existed. But... I could just buy them anyway. I mean if we adopt a kid in the future or anything. But I don't like kids, so...
Not that I follow the alleged pregnancy in any way, but I was at week seven plus three days, like week nine for humans according to the app I downloaded. The thing is now around 0,7 inches long. It begins to have a face with eyes and ears. The head has been given a neck. The nose is starting to show. The fingers have grown longer too. The toes are also developing.
His tiny little body would be too small for the socks. It's months until he'll be able to wear any socks like the polka dot ones. But he might need that matching beanie if he doesn't inherit the volume of Reed's hair. I smiled, before scowling.
"Ryan?" I looked back over my shoulder at Reed who came pushing the cart. "What do you think about this Lego set for Hannah and the doll for Susie?" He held up a box of Lego and a doll, letting his eyes fall on the tiny socks in my hand before giving me a soft smile. "Cute."
"I dunno, it's just socks," I shrugged.
"We should buy them."
"Why?" He just continued smiling and I squinted at him. "We have no reason to."
"No..." he answered trailingly.
"If you don't think about Ned and Klara's cub, that is. Let's buy these for them!" I threw the socks in the cart before heading toward the check-outs, cheeks flushed. "Good idea."
"Sure, my love."
We left all the shopping bags and the unicorn in the car before we finally headed towards the sports store to try and find something for Chad. We soon passed a small shop that made me stop and smile smugly.
It was a small ice cream parlour with a Christmas sign saying how they sold an ice cream cone with crushed candy cane and peppermint filling. I dragged Reed through the door before he could react and strolled up to the tiny counter.
"Ho, ho, ho, Pam-Pam!" I exclaimed with a giggle just as Pamela, my old colleague, was about to fill a cone with chocolate ice cream which she dropped in surprise.
"Oh my!" She held a hand to her heart, looking up at me before smiling wide. "Ryan, darling!"
I pushed myself forward beside the customer who looked confused between me and Pamela when I reached over the desk to give her a hug.
"How's slavery going for Mr. Petersen?"
"He's the same, maybe a bit relieved now when he regained one of his stars on this place."
"He lost his best by firing me though!" I snickered as Reed pulled me back gently.
"The best star you've ever seen!"
"You should find a better job."
"I'm good at my job! Besides, not everyone gets the heart of a lord." Pamela winked at Reed then turning to her customer. "I am sorry, this is for you, miss."
"Thank you," the woman said, reaching for the ice cream. I suddenly gaged, raising a hand to my mouth.
"Oh my god, what's that disgusting smell?!" I gagged again, turning to the customer. "Excuse me, but you really stink."
"Ryan!" Reed hissed, giving me a stern look.
"What?" I whined, almost feeling sick. "Her perfume! Combined with the peppermint it makes me so nauseous that I want to throw up! My stomach twists and..." My words trailed off when I caught sight of the woman's expression. I blushed. "I... I am so sorry miss, I don't know w-why,"
"It's like everyone says!" she suddenly burst, waving with her arms helplessly. "I have a smelly perfume! My sister said the same thing this morning but then I thought it was because of her heightened sense of smell due to her pregnancy but now I might have to consider a perfume change."
"It's probably the same with me as with your sister. This fucking pregnancy shit destroys everything and makes me go crazy! Just wait until I grow fat!"
The whole ice cream parlour fell silent, and I looked around questioningly until I realized what I had said and turned ALL red. My cheeks flushed as I began to snicker nervously, fiddling with my bracelet while glancing at Pamela who frowned confused. Reed placed his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off, turning to everyone in the store.
"Don't mind me, ice cream people!" I burst, bowing with a nervous snicker. "My brain is damaged. It's due to all the ice cream, yep! I worked too hard and ate too much here which turned my brain into marshmallow goo!"
"Um," Pamela stared at me but I just continued to snicker nervously.
"That's what happens when you become a sugar baby! All of a sudden you just think with your twig and,"
"Okay, thank you very much, Ryan. See you another time, Pamela," Reed grabbed my arm and dragged me toward the door.
"Call me! I haven't seen you in a while!" Pamela called after us.
I almost ran down the street with Reed close behind. He tried to grab me, but I ignored him and threw myself through the door of the sports store. I looked around for the hockey department before I ran between the shelves, looking for a helmet.
"Ryan..."
"It's fine! I'm fine!" I chuckled, examining every helmet there was while running a hand over my head, panting.
"It's not your fault that,"
"What?" My voice went up a notch.
"Don't let that back there stress you now, my love. Stress isn't good for you."
"Well, you said it yourself," I hissed under breath. "I need to be more polite!"
"Ryan."
But I didn't listen. It was so fucking embarrassing! I usually play it off and am able to make fun of it when I embarrass myself, but this time... It was just awful. Once again I kind of confirmed the pregnancy shit!
My eyes teared up as I looked among the helmets for a perfect one that would fit Chad's big head. Not because he really needed a helmet, but I had to care for his health and didn't know what else to give him.
"It wasn't meant to be,"
"I'm okay Reed, honestly!" I burst, snorting as I tore a helmet to me with a big eagle on it. "W-what kind of helmet d-does his team u-use? Do they design t-them t-themselves?"
"Ryan..." I took a trembling breath while staring up at the ceiling. I wasn't fucking pregnant and this fucking shit made me crazy!
"Maybe a b-blue one?" My voice cut but I tried to play it off by snickering. "Or pink, it would drive mom crazy!"
"It's okay, my love."
"What?"
"Please, you,"
"I didn't know how... I... I didn't MEAN to be mean to that lady! I just... I just wanted to greet Pamela and then that disgusting smell hit me and... Fuck! I,"
"Relax, babe," I huffed, shaking my head wildly. I turned to look for the exit.
"No, I must go back and find that lady! I can't be remembered as a fucking asshole in front of Pam and,"
"No don't,"
"I have to save my ass Reed!" I whined. "What if someone tell the magazines and everyone sees your new boyfriend as a crazy bitch!" I began to tremble badly, as if my wolf threatened to come out.
"Ryan calm down!"
"I calm down!" I stopped before sagging. Reed came up to me and took the helmet from my hands before placing it back on the shelf. He wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head. "Pamela will think I'm crazy, which is true."
"No, it isn't."
"I practically told everyone at that place how I'm pregnant! I appear as a crazy fucker, Reed! If they knew everything people claim about me, I..."
"They don't know," Reed tried but I just shook my head.
"Hopefully they're smart enough to know how illogical it is and how the words just slipped out of me, like; how I didn't mean it," I mumbled to his chest. "And such a STUPID statement of me."
"No."
"Yes!" I whined in frustration. "It is stupid."
"No, it's not."
"Are you going to begin with that shit again?"
"It is a natural effect of your,"
"No, don't!" I hissed. He just hushed soothingly, not in that twatty way of his. "It just smelled so, so bad."
"It can happen."
"No, not for me. Or... It shouldn't," I whispered before pulling from his grip. I cleared my throat. "I don't know how thick Chad's head is, but we must protect it at any cost."
"Why not buy him tickets for that hockey convent he mentioned during Thanksgiving?"
"Why are you the smart one in our relationship?"
"Because you're the cute one." I looked up at him and he smiled a mischievous smile before caressing my cheek. "For your comfort, I also thought the woman had a stinky perfume." I chuckled.
"Yeah, right."
"Yes."
"It's a wolf thing then!" I snickered, taking a deep breath. "Okay, we'll buy those tickets to him even if a helmet is tempting. Then let's have some lunch."
Reed had to pass his office on the way home to fix some urgent matter and we met up with Jimmy and Josie who would keep a watchful eye on me while I waited in the car. It took me a moment to convince him how I would be alright considering both of us being paranoid from all the traumas.
For real, I wanted to go with him myself, but I felt tired and still texted mom so I could just stay in the car. And I had Josie and Jimmy in the car behind me. We had to learn to live like normal again, we just had to move on...
While sitting there I couldn't let go of the mess in the parlour OR those cute fucking socks and the round crib. It's not that I wanted to buy the socks for our... for our sake but as a gift, and the crib is just as cute as a car is cool. Like, generally.
But my sudden disgust for that woman's perfume... There is something wrong with me, for sure. No normal man reacts like I did or burst it out loud for that matter. You're not normal, you're fucking pregnant.
No! No, I wasn't. It was just something that everyone else claimed, yet another wolf thing. Reed said for example that I should forget everything Thor tried to teach me, how it was bullshit so why not Björn's words being bullshit as well?!
Luis took a blood test, more than one. And Reed could SMELL it on me, and not only him. But that's no guarantee! It could just be their imagination and image of me.
As I glanced out the window opposite the street I could see a pharmacy. Women who think they are pregnant rarely take blood tests and hardly smell it, nothing that I have heard about anyway.
No, women take pregnancy tests. If I just took one and could see how incredibly stupid the claims are, then everyone would stop ranting about it and everything would turn back to normal. I sent Josie a text since I didn't wanna talk to them.
Me: I'll just go into the pharmacy, I'll be quick.
Josie: Do you want us to come with you?😊
Me: No, wanna go alone.
Josie: Sure? Reed asked you to stay in the car.
Me: Yes, to not wander off on my own. Now I'm just going to the fucking pharmacy.😑
Josie: Are you hurt?
For fucks sake... I turned to glare at her through the back window, but she looked at her phone. So, I opened the car door and left the car. Josie rolled down her window and I glared at her as she leaned out.
"I'm capable of shopping alone. There is one fucking way inside so you can see when I go in and out. Besides, the whole front is made of windows!"
"Sorry, omega, I just want you to feel safe." I sighed.
"I know, but I'm fine. It takes just a few minutes." She finally nodded and I turned my back at them.
I hurried inside and up to the shelf for pregnancy tests. I glanced out at the car but Jimmy and Josie couldn't see me behind this shelf. I turned back to it. There were at least a handful of different variations. I sighed, reading every label closely.
There were tests that told you in words whether you were pregnant or not on a digital screen but also which told you how many weeks have passed since you got pregnant, how many weeks since conception. Then simpler tests without a digital screen.
"Do you need any help sir?" I looked up as a pharmacist approached me with a twisted smile. She nodded towards the pregnancy test. "Is that for your girlfriend? Or a wife maybe?"
"Oh," I turned to the shelf. "Um..."
"Oh, maybe a friend." I wished to roll my eyes at her but turned to her with a smile.
"It's for my sister-in-law. She asked me to buy a test that guarantees to show pregnancy."
"Oh, then we have many suggestions!" the pharmacist laughed. "But the one you're holding, with a digital screen, is our most secure. It's as secure as ultrasound pregnancy dating."
"How does it work?"
"How does it work?" she repeated.
"Yes. How am I supposed to know what to do with it?" Now she laughed even louder.
"You don't have to do anything, honey! It's just for your sister-in-law to pee on the stick or in a mug and wait." Then her expression changed. She examined me suspiciously and I frowned.
"What?"
"Did you get her pregnant?" I stared at her in dismay.
"No!" I burst, offended. "I'm gay!"
"Oh, excuse me, sir!" she giggled relieved.
"Who knows, maybe I'm the pregnant one in our relationship," I burst, wanting to make a statement somehow even though it wasn't the case.
"If that was possible, you would also just have to pee on the stick," she snickered.
"In that case, I buy three different ones so I can be... so my sister-in-law can be sure."
The whole ride home my heart was beating hard in my chest, and I clutched the white shopping bag with the tests convulsive. I didn't want them, feeling silly since they're made for women. But I needed concrete facts that spoke against Luis, Reed, Björn and everyone else's stupid imaginations. I flinched when Reed reached out to caress my shoulder and I turned to him confused.
"What troubles you, my love? Is it the thing at the parlour?"
"What? Oh, um, nah."
"What is it?" He reached for my fisted hands, hugging them soothingly. "I hear your wild beating heart. You can talk to me, you know."
"I'm just eager to decorate the Christmas trees. Mike would help the others to look for the perfect ones."
I know he didn't believe me, how he knew I was lying. But he gave me space and instead left the car to carry everything inside with the help of Jimmy and Josie. I took some bags, greeting Steven as he came to help us as well. They smuggled in the huge unicorn to hide it in Reed's study, me giggling delightfully at their struggle with it.
"I just have to freshen up. Carry on and I help you soon!"
"Do you need any help?" Reed looked worried.
"No, honeybun! It's fine!"
I turned and rushed towards our suite with the white bag in hand. Even though I really craved Reed's closeness, feeling quite low and slightly nauseous, I wanted to do this myself. To succeed in disproving the nonsense would be a triumph.
But why did I feel anxious about it at the same time? I hurried into the bathroom and locked the door, turning just to find Mr. Sparkles sitting at the toilet lid. I jumped back with a surprised yelp, almost dropping the bag in the process.
"Sparkles! Stop scaring me like that!" He meowed to answer, slowly standing up. "My cutie-pie!" I placed the bag on the rug before reaching for him. I lifted him up, rubbing my nose to his before kissing his face. I cuddled him to me. "If you excuse me, I need to be alone. I have some things to take care of." I imagined him glaring at me. "Don't judge me! I have to speak for my sake! This thing they claim I have inside me is bullshit and I need to prove it."
I put him down and reached for the bag, digging through it for the first test. It was the digital one with a screen. I just stared at the blue and white box, my breath hitching slightly. I just had to pee on the thing and see how the result was negative. Only one of the three tests had to be negative for me to prove my... well, prove them wrong. I would never even want to have... Or...
I pulled up my phone from my pocket, opening the pregnancy app. IF I had been pregnant, it would still have been possible to have an abortion this early in the process, but... The thought of someone scraping out the thing or any pills doing it for me, it made me feel even more uneasy. I don't want to be a bitch, literally, but would I ever...
I stared at the picture of that tiny embryo while unzipping my pants and pulling out my twig. I felt Mr. Sparkles stare at me, and I looked down at where he sat by my feet.
"I won't pee sitting like a woman! This is just a pure statement, Sparkles. I need to prove my masculinity!" He glared even more. "I know you root for Reed and how everyone claims this shit is normal, but you can leave or turn so you don't have to stare. Go get yourself pregnant if you want to!" But maybe I should pee in something so I could take all the tests at once?
With my twig hanging out and Mr. Sparkles rubbing against my ankles, I retrieved a disposable cup from the bathroom cabinet. I opened all three boxes with tests and pulled them out, placing them on the sink while grabbing the cup.
"I just have to aim and do it slow, so..." I glanced down at Mr. Sparkles. "Don't look!" I snickered, pushing him away with my foot.
Somehow, I managed to pee in the cup even though my hand trembled and my breathing increased. With a shaking hand I placed the cup on the sink to grab the tests. Then I found myself staring at them.
It was just stupid really, taking those tests. It was totally illogical and just time consuming. Yet I closed the toilet lid and sat down at it with my head in my hands, not daring even a glance at the cup with the three tests in it.
"One... two... t-three..." I counted; Mr. Sparkles rubbing against my legs soothingly.
When I was going to reach for the cup I accidentally knocked it down, making my pee soak the whole fucking rug. However likely it was with the little I managed to produce.
I cursed under breath as I placed the tests on the sink to first clean up the mess and rolling the rug into a ball to toss it in the laundry later.
"Meow," Mr. Sparkles made me jump where I stood with my back to the sink.
"I know, but... I don't know if I dare to look. I mean. I know what it will show." How you are pregnant. "No! Not that!" I hissed at my own stupid thought. "It's just to look for, like, one second!"
It was only when I started trembling alarmingly, feeling how my wolf threatened to come to the surface that I clenched my fists and turned to the sink. I let my gaze slowly fall to the tests in front of me.
The first test that caught my attention was the digital one. I just stared at it, my jaw dropping slowly. I was met by a happy face saying pregnant 8-9 weeks.
"Fucking piece of shit!" I burst, making Mr. Sparkle's hiss. I kicked the bathroom cupboard as I reached for the second and third one. They both showed two distinct red lines each. "They must be joking me!" I whined frustrated, kicking the cabinet once more before gripping the nape of my neck. "No, no, no! It... it..." I slowly sank to the toilet, Mr. sparkles jumping up on my lap. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"
I glared to the side at those treacherous tests, smiling and taunting back at me smugly. Fucking useless shit! When my sight became blurry I pulled an arm over my face to wipe away the tears. I rubbed my face, pulling a hand through my hair as Mr. Sparkles purred and kneaded at me.
"You're happy now huh?" I murmured, snorting. "Everything and everyone are against me. But... I've read about men who jokingly tested their wives' pregnancy tests and how they came back positive. It could be a sign of cancer, so we can hope that's what it is."
But I felt myself shivering, tears rolling. This was just too much. This whole circus! I don't know what was worse. Get kidnapped by fucking Thor or wake up allegedly carrying a fucking cub. Well, it won't happen! It wasn't true.
I rose, forcing Mr. Sparkles to leave my lap even though he tried to cling on. Those tests weren't credible. They weren't one hundred percent safe and definitely worked best on WOMEN! But you won't remove it. You want it.
"I'm not pregnant!" I burst.
A knock on the door made me gasp. I hadn't even heard or noticed how Reed came into the bedroom. Of course his fucking alpha senses made him come to my fucking aid. I chose to ignore him and flushed the toilet, pretending I just took a leak. I then tossed the wet rug in the corner of the shower.
"Ryan," Reed sounded sane but worried. "You know you can talk to me."
"I'm taking a piss!"
"We are both in this together, my love." My tears flowed more as he spoke. I took a sobbing breath. "Can't you open the door? I need to see that you are well."
"It depends," I sobbed, reaching for the tests to throw them away. But I hesitated, staring down in the trash bin.
"On what, my love?"
"In whatever context you're referring to."
Instead of throwing the tests away I stared down at them before I threw them back in the white bag together with their boxes before tossing them into the bathroom cabinet. It was only because I didn't want to show Reed how I took the tests. I would throw them away later. I leaned back against the wall, biting my lower lip to prevent a whining as my body shivered again, my wolf trying to pray free.
"Ryan, open the door!"
"I open the door!" I rushed over and unlocked it, just to let Reed in almost before the door could fully open. "I need to freshen up!" I objected but couldn't hide my tear-filled face. He cupped my cheeks, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. "I'm okay."
"You have the right to be sad, and worried." I glanced towards the bathroom cabinet, hoping he wouldn't know. "And if it's everything today which troubles you the most right now,"
"I'm just tired, okay? If you don't remember, I was kidnapped like a fucking week ago!" I pulled from his grip and hurried out of the room and away to the bed. I crawled up in it, digging myself in under all the cosy pillows and duvets. "I'll build a nest and hibernate."
I could feel Reed smiling when he walked up to me. The bed dipped when he sat down, letting his hand find its way in to caress my back. I shivered slightly, my wolf threatening to come out still. I felt nauseous, wanting to throw up but then he would be too worried. I had only thrown up twice since I got home again, this during mornings.
"Then how will you be able to decorate the trees with us?" I didn't answer. I just fisted my hands convulsively. I couldn't shift now! I've been in control too long for such bullshit! "You won't shift." I took a deep breath. He always knew and felt my feelings to the fullest. "You need to take it easy, and... I know you're still reeling from everything that happened."
"You think?" I huffed. "I... I try to be happy and, you know; be me. But... I'm afraid, and I'm stressed and," Now he crawled into my nest of pillows to embrace me. I relaxed almost immediately. "If I never was born like this..."
"Then we would never be here now."
"Even technology can be misleading, can it?" He seemed confused by my change of subject. "Three times can be coincidence."
"Let's rest for a while, my love." I cuddled closer to him, smiling when I felt Mr. Sparkles finding his way in between us.
"Since when did our relationship become a threesome?"
"Don't deny how you love it."
"I do," I giggled half-heartedly. "But not how it is you two against me."
"No one are against you. We stand with you." But I didn't answer. I just closed my eyes and wished how everything would go away.