Few weeks had passed, they talked a lot on the phone but had time to meet up, only on conferences. Lizzy felt that all of it was hard on her mother, but she didn't have time to stop by. It was cruel but with her starting career and her mother's going, it was hard to catch up.
Elizabeth bought two bottles of wine, the alcoholic one and the one free of it and went to surprise her mother at her family home. She used her own keys, after talking to the bodyguards of the woman, so she wouldn't get shoot for trespassing.
The house was tidy as always, even more after she moved out. "Mamma?" She asked to the quiet house.
The vice president's day had been quite hectic, with the press swarming around, all wanting either an statement, a photo or just a simple 'hello' from her.
She was feeling tired - her mind, body and soul exhausted, as she quietly made her way towards the living room.
When she heard the girl's voice, she froze mid-step, a small sigh leaving her mouth.
"Lizzie?" she called.
"Hey mama" girl smiled when she saw her.
Her heart skipped a beat, when she saw the girl's smile.
She knew she missed her, she just didn't realize how much, until that very moment.
"What are you doing here?" she asked as she crossed the space between them, pulling the girl into a tight hug.
Girl laughed and hugged her back, trying to be careful not to breake the wine that was in her bag.
"Can't i just visit my mother?"
She shook her head, her face buried in the girl's shoulder.
"You can" she took a deep breath, inhaling her scent that was so comforting "but you usually call before" she replied, finally pulling away to look at the girl.
"I wanted to surprise you, Kammy. For my defence, I brought wine."
Her eyes moved from the girl's face down at the bag, a hint of curiosity in them.
"Oh" she laughed, as she moved forward to take if from her daughter's hand.
"I'm going to be disappointed, if the both of those are not alcohol" she said, as she unzipped the bag.
"I'm not that cruel, only one of them. I would prefer you not to poison yourself, but what can I do."
She smirked, reaching into the bag and pulling out one of the wine bottles.
"That's a low blow" she said, as she studied the bottle, before taking out the second one.
"And this one is?"
"Alcohol for sure. If you have to drink let it be good. Not that cheep wine from a cartons."
She laughed, amused by the girl's words.
"Well, how can I argue with that" she said, before putting the bottle back into the bag, and handing the other one to her daughter "Open it, put on a movie" she patted the girl's shoulder as she made her way to the kitchen.
"Wait a second. When did you last eat?" Her mother had a habit of skiping meals lately and Elizabeth didn't want to let her drink on an empty stomach.
She stopped and turned around, a little caught off guard by the question.
"Uh... this morning" she said slowly, her hand moving to her hair, playing with a strand.
"I had coffee and-" she stopped, a guilty expression on her face.
"For the love of God Kamala. I think I need to move back in, that's a threat."
She rolled her eyes at her daughter's words.
"Liz, I'm a grown woman, I know how to-"
The girl gave her a look, and she stopped mid sentence.
"Fine" she sighed, her hands thrown up in defeat "I'll heat something up"
"Good" she could feel the caring in her daughter's voice
She shook her head, a small smile on her face as she moved into the kitchen.
She put some leftovers into the microwave, while her daughter was opening the bottle in the other room.
She was almost done heating up her plate, when a thought crossed her mind"
"Liz, could I ask you something?" she yelled from the kitchen.
"Stop yelling though the house. If you want to tell me something come here" she sounded just like Kamala
She snorted at her daughter's words, amused by the girl's tone.
"Okay, I'll stop yelling though my own house" she retorted with a little smirk, before making her way over to the girl and dropping on the couch right next to her.
Lizzy handed her a glass of wine.
"You wanted to ask something?"
She took the glass from her daughter's hand and leaned back against the couch.
"You got plans for your New Year's Eve?" she asked casually, bringing the glass to her lips.
"I don't think so. My friends are going out, but they will get drunk and I'm not planning to be the only one sober." She took a sip of her not alcoholic wine. "Why?"
"Oh, no reason" she said, before swallowing some more of her drink.
"Just asking" she continued in a light tone, her shoulder lightly bumping into the girl's.
Girl knew what was going on, but she didn't plan on making it easier for her mother. Kamala will finally snap and ask but for now, let her suffer. She just gave the VC a questioning look.
"Stop giving me that look" she said, nudging the girl again with her shoulder.
She brought her glass up to her lips, drinking the rest of the wine, before placing the glass back on the coffee table.
"Fine" she finally sighed, her head dropping back against the couch behind her.
"I was wondering if you'd spend the holidays with me" she confessed, her eyes staring up at nothing.
That went fast. She usually took a little while to snap.
Elizabeth smiled widely. "I would love to mama"
She turned her head back to the girl, a slightly surprised look on her face.
"You-" she stopped, a soft laugh leaving her mouth.
"You knew I was going to ask, did you?" there was a hint of accusation in her tone, that sounded anything but serious.
"Of course I did." Girl smiled. Kamala was really easy to read if you knew her well enough. She was a very straight forward woman, so sensing what she wanted to ask wasn't that hard either. "I know you all to well."
"Right" she shook her head, before shoving lightly against the girl's shoulder.
"I hate you" she mumbled, a small smile on her lips.
Lizzy poured her mother more wine, still sipping her first glass.
"No you don't"
"No I don't" she agreed, as she picked up her glass again.
A comfortable silence fell between them, as she studied the glass, her thoughts a little all over the place.
"It's weird" she said suddenly, lifting her eyes to the girl next to her.
"What?" Both women were comfortable.
"It's weird" she repeated herself, looking at her drink contemplatively.
"How time flies" the words came out quiet, as she took a small sip of her wine.
"It feels like yesterday, when you were a small kid, asking me to bake cookies with you, or begging me to teach you how to drive a bike" she smiled, the memory coming back.
"And now you're here, and you're an adult, and..." she stopped, blinking a few times as she shook her head.
"God, I'm getting so old"
Girl messed up Kamala's hair. "Just a tiny little bit."
She laughed swatting the girl's hand away, her hair a mess.
"And you're getting mean" she accused, as she tried to fix it in a useless attempt.
They were quiet, a comfortable silence as they drunk wine and ate some left overs.
"My God this desk job is killing me" Kamala tried to stretch out her back muscles.
"You'll get used to it" the girl replied, reaching out to massage her mother's lower back, the muscle of her back stiff and tensed.
"You just need to relax a little bit. You're too wound up" she went on, the muscles shifting under her touch.
Lizzy placed her glass on the table and sat over Kamala, as she did countless of times, since she was a kid, with weak hands, she always wanted to help her mother even as a child.
She massaged her mother's tensed shoulders.
Kamala let out a little sigh, as she relaxed into the girl's touch.
"Feels good" she murmured as she closed her eyes, a small shiver running through her, when her daughter's fingers hit a nerve.
Girl as always used some force to reach the deeper muscles. Kamala always worked herself up to the point of great pain from stiffness of her muscles, the tissue that was supposed to be soft, were rock hard because of her knots in muscles.
"Don't you think you could be a little more gentle" she mumbled, as the girl's thumb dug into her shoulder.
The pressure stung, but the pain was somewhat welcome.
"God, you're ruthless" she said through clenched teeth, as her daughter continued the massage.
"It's not supposed to be fun, but to help. If you would come to me sooner and more often it would not hurt that much."
A groan escaped her lips, as the girl's touch hit a sensitive spot.
"I-" she took a deep breath, a shiver running through her. "I don't have time, Liz" her reply was quiet, coming out almost like a whine.
"You have to take care of your own body, Kammy." Girl used some less force on the sensitive spot. Slowly but surely loosening the muscle.
"I'm fine" she protested, shifting slightly, her head falling back against the girl's stomach.
"I just-" another shiver ran through her, when her daughter's hand hit a more stubborn spot. "I just need you to keep doing that" she conceded quietly.
"It would be easier to help you, if you would come to me when you need help." She used necessary force of her fingers.
"I-" she winced when her daughter's hand hit a particular spot, her shoulder stiffening.
"Don't you think, it would be weird" she finally said "for me to ask you for massages" her body started to relax again, as the girl's hands worked some magic.
"Lizzy my back hurts like hell could you help me? No it does not sound weird."
"Well- I-" she let out a deep sigh, her shoulders slumping under the girl's hands, as she relaxed further into the couch.
"Fine" she finally said through a pout.
"But you're so mean with me" she mumbled quietly "always, so rough."
"If I would be bearly touching you it wouldn't be helping." Lizzy massaged the knot that made Kamala hiss.
"I think you enjoy hurting me" she protested weakly, as the girl's hands continued their work.
"You're a sadist" she said through clenched teeth, as the knot finally started to ease.
Girl used even more force as a punishment.
"Oh shut up"
"You-" she hissed, her back arching against her daughter's hands, her muscles twitching from the pressure.
She was tempted to tell the girl to stop, but the masochist side in her wanted more.
Girl lightened the touch a little bit, not wanting to hurt Kamala. "But it feels better doesn't it?" She moved to her lower back.
"A little bit" she admitted, shifting a bit to let the girl better access her back.
"I-" she stopped, a quiet gasp leaving her mouth, as the girl's hands hit another tight knot.
Lizzy ignored it, continuing her work all over.
Her breath hitched, when the girl's fingers pushed harder between her shoulder blades.
"God" she groaned, her head dropping forward.
"You enjoy this, don't you?" she asked quietly, her voice slightly muffled by the couch cushion.
"I want to help you mammy."
"Maybe-" her breath hitched again, when the girl pressed into another knot.
"Maybe you should stop being so... rough" she suggested in between quiet hisses, her lower back arching against the girl's hands.
"You will thank me when I'm finished." She was almost done with her back.
"I-" her protest died in her throat, her back arching again, as the girl's thumb worked magic, massaging a particularly stubborn spot.
She let out a shaky breath.
"God, Liz" she said quietly, as her shoulders slumped, her back finally feeling loose again.
"What is it? Is it my stubborn mother got her range of motion back?" She massaged her arms
Her only reply was a tired sigh, as her arms relaxed under the girl's touch.
"You're an angel" she finally said, her voice quiet.
"But also a sadist" she teased, her eyes already closed.
She moved her hands to her hair. "Now this is supposed to be nice" she massaged Kamala's scalp.
She let out a small sigh, as the girl's fingers ran through her hair, massaging her scalp lightly.
"That is nice" she murmured, her head dropping back against the couch, her mind now pleasantly blank.
"It is supposed to be this way, after everything before." She continued delicately massaging older woman's scalp.
"Mhm" she hummed in agreement, savoring the pleasant feeling of her daughter's hands in her hair.
She was so relaxed that she stopped paying attention to her surroundings, her mind and body completely relaxed, as the girl's fingers worked their magic.
Lizzy finally stopped and came back down at the couch. She took her glass back and emptied it.
She slowly returned to her senses, her eyes finally fluttering open.
"Thank you" she said with a sigh, as she sat up straight again.
She took her glass, and drained the last of the wine from it.
"I'm not a sadist anymore?"
"You are" she said, but her tone was rather lighthearted.
"Just sometimes you're also an angel" she added, as she leaned forward, reaching for the bottle of wine on the table.
Though Lizzy didn't stop her, you could feel in her posture her resentment to alcohol her mother was consuming.
She poured herself another cup, the alcohol slowly making her forget her problems and worries.
She had work tomorrow, but she didn't care, not right now.
Bringing the glass up to her lips, she took a slow sip, the liquid soothing the ache left in her shoulders.
Girl watched the woman drinking herself slowly, her body aching, wanting to take that glass away. This wasn't healthy, this wasn't good.
She didn't do anything, just eyeing the fast disappearing red liquid.
The bottle emptied too fast under her hand, the glass being drained again and again, each drink making her feel lighter.
The sound of the bottle hitting the table was quiet, but it rang loud in Lizzy's ears.
Kamala noticed the look in her daughter's eyes, the concern slowly seeping into them. She ignored it, taking another sip.
"What?" she asked casually, her speech slurring only a little.
The problem with Elizabeth was, that before Kamala took her in, she was raised by two alcoholics. Father when he drank he would hit her, mother the same. They were also drug addicted and it caused most of their problems, so Kamala didn't know about the alcohol. It was 20 years ago, and Lizzy never took a single sip. Later on she got into a romantic relationship with an alcoholic, she run off pretty quickly, but it left even more resentment to alcohol.
Kamala's mind was clouded by alcohol, her thoughts slow and muddy. She didn't notice how her drinking affected her daughter, all she wanted was to forget for a moment.
"Enough mama."
Lizzy's voice hardened.
"You've had enough. Please put down that glass." Kamala wasn't so drunk, she was tipsy yes, but she did notice how tensed her daughter was. She was still aware of everything, just her judgement a little bit clouded.
"I'm fine" she slurred, her eyes narrowing in irritation.
"I can go on" she added defiantly, as she lifted the glass once more.
"I can still handle my liquor."
The last sentence brought Lizzy's clouded from time memories of her biological parents. She whispered. "Mama please stop."
Something in her daughter's voice changed. There was a hint of desperation, of fear even.
Kamala's hand froze, as she slowly put the glass down. She shook her head, trying to focus her blurry eyes on the girl before her.
Lizzy didn't know why it hit her so hard this time. Maby because of the talk they had a while ago. About how Kamala was her only mother, but it did it hit her hard. Girl had tears in her eyes.
Kamala's heart sank at the sight of her daughter's tears.
She slowly sobered up, her mind clearing from the alcohol.
"Liz" she said quietly, her voice sounding almost sober now.
"Come here" she moved over, patting the place on the couch next to her.
She leaned into her mother's embrace.
She held her daughter tightly, her heart aching as she felt the girl's body shake with silent tears.
"Shhh" she murmured, gently stroking her hair. "It's alright. I'm here."
The scent of alcohol coming from Kamala, broke her daughter even more. Her mamma stopped feeling like a safe space, the scent of her perfumes the same since she was a little kid, now were clouded by the scent of alcohol. Kamala was drunk next to Liz before. It hit her so hard only this time, never before.
Her heart ached, as she held her daughter close. She could feel the girl's tension, the way she was holding back her sobs.
"I'm sorry" she finally said, her voice hoarse. "I should have realized. I should-" her voice broke off. She didn't know what to say. She just held the girl tighter, trying to convey all her love and regretfulness through the embrace.
Elizabeth was feeling the alcohol from Kamala, it didn't help, but she didn't want to pull away. She wanted to find the safety she just lost.
Kamala was fully sobered up now, the alcohol forgotten. All her attention was on her daughter.
She ran her fingers soothingly though the girl's hair, her other hand rubbing her back.
"I'm here, sweetie" she whispered, as she felt the girl's body tremble. "I'm here."
Elizabeth got calmer and pulled away.
"I'm sorry. You're a grown woman you can drink whenever you please to."
"No" she said firmly, her arms tightening around her daughter.
"Don't apologize" she continued, her gaze locking onto the girl's. "I should have realized how my drinking is affecting you" she went on, her voice soft and quiet."I should have been more careful. I should have been more considerate."
"It never affected me so much. You were drunk with me countless of times. I don't know what happened."
"Maybe-" she paused, choosing her words carefully "maybe you've just had enough"
"I-" she let out a depe sigh, trying to put all her thoughts into words
"It's just-" she stopped, letting out a frustrated huff.
"I don't know" she finally admitted.
"Sometimes all of this is just-" she gestured around "-too much. And i just want to stop thinking."
"I don't like you drinking, but I can handle that. I prefer you getting drunk with me than alone in the house. You don't over use the alcohol. You never did. I brought you the bottle, so I shouldn't be affected like that."
"Liz" she said softly, gripping the girl's shoulder.
"You did bring me the bottle. And you were fine. I- i don't know what happened, but you aren't fine now"
She took a deep breath, her mind still a but foggy from the alcohol.
"Do you want to tell me what went through your mind?" she asked gently, her eyes searching the girl's face.
"Kam, 20 years ago you took a little kid, me, under your roof. Do you know who you took me from?"
Kamala took a deep breath, her fingers tracing absently across the girl's back.
"I do know" her voice was quiet, almost a whisper.
She knew only bits of Lizzy's past, snippets the girl told her, but she could guess what her daughter experienced in her earlier life.
"They were drug addicts, but also alcoholics. Deep in me there always had been a hatred to alcohol. The smell, the taste and the agresson after it. I was five when the cps came to my house, I don't remember much, but my subconsciousness does. It turns itself off on a random triggers." Girl was calm now, like nothing happened, she explained her trauma like she was explaining a math problem.
Kamala listened in silence, her grip on her daughter tightening slightly.
She felt guilt clawing at her, a heavy, bitter feeling in her stomach. She cursed herself for not realizing this earlier. For not piecing together the girl's aversion to alcohol, her past.
Elizabeth just smiled sadly. "It was never your fault Kammy"
"I'm sorry. Really sorry. I don't know if it will help but i can stop drinking with you." Kamala cuped her daughter's face. "You didn't have to go through this alone. All this years, you didn't said a thing."
"I should have said" Elizabeth replied simply.
"You shouldn't have to-" she was stopped by the girl's hands on her face.
She looked into Lizzy's tear-redened eyes, guilt flooding her.
"I never wanted to hurt you" she said quietly
"Never," her voice almost breaking.
"Mum, it's not your fault I'm okay." She kissed her mother's in her cheek and turned the tv on.
Kamala closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath as her daughter kissed her cheek.
She snuggled closer to Lizzy, seeking her comfort.
"I love you, sweetheart" she murmured, her hand finding the girl's.
"I love you too mama." Liz hugged her mother and put on a movie.
They snuggled together, both finding comfort in each other.
Kamala's guilt was still present, but lessened by her daughter's reassurance, her kind words.
She felt a sense of peace, as she held the girl close, her mind now focused on the movie playing on the screen.