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heartbroken: a compilation

By abilovesreading

313 41 1

A series of poems describing the turmoil of loving, breakups, depression, and learning to deal with it. TRIGG... More

Part 1: During the toxic
Death and pain
Love and hate and everything in between
Not at home
At Length
Part 2: the people who stood by
the long process
Back and forth
Part 3: After the pain
Through it all
Before and After
Just like that
Part 4: Healing is a lifetime
Healthy Relationships
Trying
The End

New beginning's with new people

13 2 0
By abilovesreading




Just Friends


I want your forgiveness

your friendship

I want the old talks

the way you sang to me

you had me

when you had your ringtone on love story

our song

only for me

I miss your smiles

your laugh

I miss the way we were

I don't want you as a boyfriend

I'm in love and broken

and you don't deserve that

but I miss you,

the way you looked at me

for the first times in months went I went away

I miss your voice

your smile now

the way you look at me

and protect me








Years


I got my friendship back

the one I begged for

I missed you

and since you are trying again

I won't lose you

not after so many years

of you sticking by my side

even when I didn't deserve it








Balanced


finally balance

one after another

great work.

persistence.

management.

loyalty

I'm so thankful

to expect so much

to plan

to have a lot going on

and make it

and get even more than expected








Her


I see the way you look at her

I know you love her

you used to look at me like that

I know you care for her

because you used to touch me like that

I see she makes your eyes shine

and your body shake

and your lips tingle

because I used to make you feel like that

and know I wonder

what I did wrong

for my heart to break

each time see your face








Evil Little Angel


when you close your eyes

you are still a baby

young, beautiful

and full of life

you are peaceful like an angel

when you open your eyes

you are wild and fun

a raging storm

but when you hold me

when you touch my hand

when you hug me

or say my name

you are my little sister,

and that fear that has you holding onto me

grips at my core

I will protect you

against the world

and I want to see you succeed

you are everything to me,

holding me together

you are mischievous and trouble

you destroy like a tornado but

you also heal








Guitar


I fell in love

with how your arms curled

perfectly around my waist

I fell in love with your deep blue eyes

how they shield my name

I fell in love with your lips

when the cherry taste first hit

I fell in love with your hands

how strong yet gentle the strokes


but you broke me

you made me evil

and I'm waiting

this is what you get

for getting a different girl

why did you use a 15 year old like me

when you were way past the age of 23

you should've know better

than to toy with my heart








I'm sorry


I'm sorry I wish it had been true

I'm sorry I didn't want to wake up


I'm sorry that it didn't happen

I'm sorry that it did


I wish it didn't feel like this

being in love with two face

it hurts


but baby I'll still always choose you

I just wish it had happened, that you had come before him








Fell


baby,

I fell in love

by the first look


you swung me off my feet

with the first kiss


I gave you all

with my lose of purity


and I lost it all

from the first hit,

the first blood drop








Neglection


you neglect my dreams

you say you wish they cared

but everything is lies

pouring out,

flooding me

you say I'm useless

worthless

horrible

I didn't do anything to you

yet you hate me

one day ill be out of your life

and you'll miss me

but your tears will be pointless

when I'm living my own life

since you are the one who hurt me

everyday, slowly

with your words








Wrong


I'm sorry

I never know what I do wrong

I never know why you are mad

all I know is that you are

your silence is torture

and my heart breaks

but I know its wrong

its better this way,

far away..








Full of guitars


I can't help it

I think about you all the time

it hurts

seeing you make me sick

but I wonder how you are

if you are still with her

if I cross your mind

I know I was your mistake

I wonder if you feel guilt about what you did to me

I wonder..

does it hurt as much as it hurts me








KIK


an innocent number

but you are a user,

a player,

a cheater

you made me lose a friendship

start a fight

and have their stares haunt me

you made me flinch at your name

and fear for my life

a part of me must have wanted the guilt

to make death easier

the pain if I truly fell

he didn't understand I needed to do it on my own

to suffer and it hurt

I guess it worked

all you wanted was sex,

and when I found out you had someone

I wish she had believed me

I wish she had left you








Longing


dear my best friend

I dream of a day you'll love me

where your lips will brush on mine

where you'll gaze softly

and nuzzle up to my skin

I dream, of what your touch would feel like

what it will feel like deep and bare

I dream of finding love

deep in your wake

I dream of being your first

to kiss you in despair

to sleep beside you peacefully

to be named and not shy

to bathe in all your glory

oh dear best friend

want you make love to me

let me die in your arms

buried in your chest, I want to find my rest








Father Figure


I use to trust you

I used to bury my worries in you

when I was left heartbroken

you were there to pick up my pieces

to defend me

I try still, to be near you

but you push me away

it hurts,

I cry everyday for your love

I cut, to feel relief

but your angry eyes wound me

I didn't do anything wrong

I try to make you proud

but my words are left empty

dad, why do you hate me now?








Copy


T,

you play such a big instrument

you are so close

to touch

yet looking like a copy of him... I can't

your hair is his

your eyes are his

your awkward smile is his

for the 1st time in 6 months

we held a conversation

its even harder to take a

step

back

But he we are

you may be sweet

something he never was

and quiet

the same

but you are a reminder

a copy of the past

and I can't fall so dark again

he even ruined that

he's gone and he still

ruins

that

we work alongside each other

you invade Ever area of my life,

my hobbies are yours

my work is ours

and its so hard to watch you everyday

like you so much

and have you remind me of everything I suffered from him








Texas


you held me close, that one night

but you pushed me away all the rest

your smile dropped my heart

and there you go

you forget our night

wasn't it enough for you?


you're confident

and insecure

you break my heart

breaking it on the daily

wait for a pulse

to shatter it again

you held me close

only to push me away

further

further

farther than before

if I say I love you

will you stay

no

you'll always leave

you held me close

for one night

that wasn't enough

enoguh for you to stay

or to withstand my desire of you

you'll always be gone

too far out of reach


you promised you were different

we were friends for 3 years first,

saw you daily,

worked alongside you,

trusted you,

then you ended on broken promises and empty lies

you said you were different that you'd never leave

so where are you?








Date

It'd been so long since I'd gone on a date,

around a year

maybe more

and then you came

you were different

quiet but talkative

it didn't feel like small talk

it must've been

did I read the signs wrong?


didn't you ask for my number

because you liked me,

because you wanted more

why'd you take the time

why'd you take about other dates

was it nothing,

was I a mistake?


why did you confuse me,

I don't know where to go

or how to let go

it was a new begining

with someone new

a person like you,

you seemed so nice, caring,

wanting to know me

maybe I really can't read people

thought I'd learned from my past

yet you managed to break all the barriers

in one rise from a chair

and one walk around the park

and yet you managed to pass all my hurdles

And now I want you

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These poems are for the one I love