Chapter nineteen
I am sitting on the back porch alone when Wendy steps out and sits in the chair beside me with two mugs. She sets one on the table beside me and holds the other in her hand. I smile to her and pick up the mug, peering inside.
“It’s coffee, just looked like a time when coffee sounded good.” She says shrugging.
I lift the mug to my mouth and slowly take a sip, careful not to burn off all of my taste buds. I smile at the taste, she put all of my favorite creamers inside, not to much and not to little. But she was right, it was coffee weather. The air was cooler than usual due to the seasons that are changing. School starts in two weeks, something I am highly dreading.
The boys are all inside, watching their Saturday football that is starting. Occasionally you can hear them cheer as their team scores. I laugh to myself and look down into my cup.
“Your father has been calling.” She tells me softly and when I look over to her she is also looking into her cup. “The boys thought you needed sometime to yourself so they wouldn’t let him talk to you. I didn’t even know he was calling until this morning. They had been answering the phone lately.” She explains.
She looks up to me and I nod, looking back into my cup. The sun in falling onto my wrists, illuminating the new scars.
“When is their father and the boys coming back?” I ask softly, keeping my voice steady.
“The boys are coming back next week, their father won’t be coming until after February.”
“Is he gone like this often?”
She doesn’t say anything and when I look to her I find her nodding silently.
We are silent for a moment, both of us staring at the contents of our cups.
So my father has been calling, and the boys hadn’t been letting him talk to me. Knowing him he will most likely show up at the door before long if he doesn’t talk to me soon. That would be way worse than a phone call.
“I think I am going to give him a call.” I tell her standing to my feet. “Thank you for the coffee.” I say, giving her shoulder a squeeze before going inside and to the phone, but I find the phone not on the receiver. I peer into the living room, where all the boys sit with their sodas and bags of chips, but if you look past that you can see the phone on the coffee table, in the middle of all of them.
I walk inside and grab it swiftly, ignoring the looks I get when I do. I hurry up to my room and shut, lock, the door. I dial his number and take a seat on the window seat, looking down to the yard as I do.
“Hello.” He says as he answers, his voice is gruff and tired.
“Hey Dad.”
“Brooklyn? Jesus Christ! It has been a week! A week-…”
“I didn’t call to be yelled at Dad, if that is all that you are going to do then I am hanging.” I threaten. He is silent and I take the chance to bring it up. “So I seen Tanner the other day.” I say casually.
“O yea? What’s he been up to?”
I can hear it in his voice, even if I hadn’t known he put Tanner up to coming here I could have known. I can hear the lie in his voice.
“He moved here.”
“Hm.” He says and I hear a door shut on the other side of the line.
“Yea, he also told me that you were the one that talk him into coming here.”
He is silent and I smile slightly, knowing I can claim the victory.
“I’m afraid to have to say this Dad but, you won’t have your little spy like you hoped. Me and Tanner are no longer friends, and we won’t become friends, so you won’t know anything that I don’t tell you.”
“You never tell me anything.”
“Like your one to talk?”
I hear him sigh and I know he is running his hands through his hair.
“I didn’t just move him out there so he could be my spy. You needed someone, someone you knew, someone-…”
“I know people now.”
“Yea, the boys who live there, you haven’t met anyone outside of the house yet.”
“Yes I have, I never tell you anything remember? So how would you know?”
He sighs again and I look to my fingers and begin twiddling them.
“Listen, Brook… I don’t want to fight…”
“When is Mom’s funeral.” I ask, interrupting whatever he was saying.
Silence, except for a noise that I know he didn’t make. I slowly get up and walk to the door, knowing we aren’t the only ones in this conversation. I will deal with them after I get my answer.
“Dad?” I press, knowing he is hiding something.
“It was last week.” He says softly, his voice unsteady.
“Last week!?” I say, anger bubbling inside of me.
“We didn’t think it would be good for you to go…”
“To my own mother’s funeral!?”
“Yes, to your own mother’s funeral Brook, you tried to kill yourself!? What else where we supposed to do?!”
“Nothing! That’s what you did last time! You didn’t even call! You did absolutely nothing!” I yell. “This was Mom’s funeral! This isn’t a trip to fucking Disney!”
“You think I don’t know that? You think that I didn’t do anything! That is bullshit Brooklyn! I called, I left messages, I even came out there but Tanner’s family wouldn’t let me in to see you! I tried, don’t you dare say I didn’t.”
This time I am the silent one.
“You are selfish, and irresponsible! You weren’t thinking about anyone else but yourself, how do you think it would have made me, or your mother feel-….”
“Selfish!? Irresponsible!? I must get that from you! God knows you weren’t thinking about anyone else but yourself that day you walked out the door! You didn’t think about how Mom felt, or how I felt, you were thinking about you and the fucking money!” I screech, the anger barley containable. “And you know what!? I did think about Mom when I did it, she was the only one I thought about, but hey, she left me too. Never once did you cross my mind because I didn’t give a rat’s ass how you felt, just like you didn’t care what we felt. And this last time, I didn’t have to think about Mom, because she was gone! There isn’t anyone else out there that cares Dad! Not you, and not Tanner, not anyone else! I am alone!”
My chest is heaving with anger, my teeth clenched so tightly I begin to think my teeth are about to chip off. My hold on the phone is so tight no one could pry the plastic out of my hand if they tried.
“So before you go throwing out names to be calling people, think about what you have done in the past. We all know that the selfish and irresponsible one in this fricken conversation is you.”
And with that I hang up the phone and throw open the door and run to the stairs, when I have reached the stairs I find the boys currying to put the phone back on the receiver. Their eyes meet mine and worry and fear show on their faces, and I don’t blame them, they should be scared.
“Five minutes! That’s all the god dammed privacy I need and I can’t even get that” I yell, throwing the phone at the boy closest to me.
I dart past them and out the door, running to my car, tears blurring my vision. I throw open the door and start to shut it but someone grabs it, keeping it open.
“Let go!” I scream and his face pokes into the hole in the door, making me unable to shut it if I tried.
“Brooklyn, stop.” He says calmly, pulling the keys out of my hand. “You can’t drive-…”
“Stop acting like you care!” I hiss, glaring into his eyes.
“I do.” He whispers, his breath hitting my cheek.
“One second you do and the other you are pushing me away, make up your fricken mind or just leave me alone Rodger. I can’t play his games as well as yours.” I say firmly, some of the tears falling onto my cheeks.
“You know I can’t leave you alone.”
“Then stop pushing me away.” I whisper.
He is silent, as if pondering this option. My heart is beating as fast as a humming birds wings with all the events that are taking place.
“I can’t do that either.” He whispers.
“Then you just lost me for good. I’m done.” I say, more tears falling over my cheeks as my heart drops into my stomach. While he is in shock I snatch the keys from his hands and speed out of the driveway, not once looking back.
When I return it is one in the morning, my tank is low on gas, and I can barely keep my eyes open. I sloppily park in the driveway and make my way to the house. I walk down the hall and pull myself up the stairs, tripping when I don’t pull my foot up high enough. I fall down a few, stopping with one digging into my stomach and I groan. Arms go around me and I jump, turning my head to find Thomas looking down at me.
“Thanks.” I whisper as he carries me to my room. He sets me down on the bed and I roll over to find the little fur ball sleeping in its bed and I smack my forehead. “Crap! I forgot to feed it!” I cry, sitting up quickly.
“Rodger fed it.” he tells me softly, pulling the blankets to my chin as he pushes me back down.
“O, great.” I mutter and he chuckles slightly.
“Just give him time Brook, he doesn’t open up to very many people.” He tells me softly.
“I can’t wait much longer.” I tell him, closing my eyes, sleep coming quickly.
“Maybe you won’t have to.”
Sorry it't short AND late! Thanksgiving really messed up my plans! Sorry again! But will make it up to you by updating maybe two, three chapters today? Lol, anyway, hoped you liked it! Vote? Comment? Thanks for reading!
Next Update: Today! :D
Teaser: School is coming soon, shopping needs to be taken care of, but who all will go? :D
Thanks again for reading and have a great weekend!