?~Diego x Walter~?

Winter break is now done. I feel kind of miserable though, The Vicious Five just won't leave me alone. Yesterday, Maddi and Auden wrote on a piece of paper:

To: Diego
From: Walter
I love you so much you little bumhole.
*horrible drawing of Walter and I kissing*

That's what the note said. At first I threw it in the recycle without reading, but Maddi fished it out with her epicly loooong index finger. Obviously, I secretly liked the drawing. Walter has a new haircut. It's SO gorgeous. He's SO glamorous uwu. He now has curly hair and it's the colour of rotten vomit blueberries...my favorite 😳👉👈.

His style makes me want to... party hard queens 💅✊😘😈🎉🎊🎈👑💄💍

But anyway, now I'm just sitting here, bored af. I need someone to come over and snuggle 'n' cuddle me uwu. UGH. I NEED WALTER. GIMME WALTER ALREADY. God...sorry I'm going a bit insane without him. Honestly, I just need his luscious lips against...mine. I'm so crazy for him. His luscious lips, his rotten vomit blueberry hair, his strong intense eyes, his romantic smile, his amazing style, his personality...it just makes me wanna SWOON.

Should I just text him...? He makes me feel so safe and warm and happy and- sorry. Aheh, sorta acting like a simp I guess. Well, I AM one. For Walter. I would do anything for him. I desire him most. I'm just gonna text him-

*BLIP*

Huh??

Oh, a TEXT! Gosh maybe it's from WALTER. Oh, it's not. It's from @tonyislife1 (MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW HIM ON INSTA). He's cool and all, but not like Walter. Whatever, guess I'll see what it says.

Tony: Hey idiot

Me: What do ya want, noob??

Tony: look, I'm a middle aged man, I dont have much time left

Me: the hell u have LOTS of time left, you imbecil.

Tony: no not that. I mean u have to come over...ASAP

Me: NO WAY. U FREAK

Tony: please pls pls man. Pls pls pls.

Me: I'll start playing the song Creep ESPECIALLY for u if u dont stop being one.

Tony: I love that song go ahead. Anyway, come over *sends address*

Me: UGHHH. Fine. Be right there I guess.

Tony: yes thank ya you deformed demented donkey (:

Me: please dont put smiley faces that way again. :)

Tony: JUST HURRY

~End of conversation~

Wow. What a creep. Anyway, I better get going. Wonder what's wrong...

~At Tony's house~

*rings doorbell*

A man with a top hat and a moustache opens the door. Middle aged men these days...blech. "Um hello," I say hesitantly. "Hello...you must be that idiot Tony was talking about," the man said. Rude. "Um yeah sure whatever...let me in."

The moustache falls off of the man's face. Lolz. Fake moustache goals. "Your moustache kinda fell," I say trying not to laugh. The man with the top hat looks down. "Errr ye anyway come on in I suppose."

He opens the door. I see a very laboratory looking place. Epic...kinda cool if I do say so myself. "This place is AMAZING!" I shout. "Yup. I get that a lot hehe," says the top hat dude. He sighs. "Just kidding I have no friends."

Tony opens a door and walks in. "Hey Tony," I say. "HI! Looks like you met my only friend! That guy with the top hat is named John!" Tony exclaims. "Nice," I say in reply. John gives me the tour of the house, then makes some tea for us. We all sit down in the dining area. "So...why did you need me?" I ask. "I texted you because...something terrible has happened to your boyfriend, Walter." Tony says, sadly. Wait...what. NO. "WHAT HAPPENED?!?" I yell. "Calm down," says John, quietly. I try and take some deep breaths to calm myself down. It doesn't work. Like, at all.

"Please...tell me what happened..."