?~Diego x Walter~?

~Saturday~

For some reason I keep on thinking about the bald, long nosed man who saved Walter and I. He was pretty fat, but his legs were super skinny. It fit him, it was kinda hot. His shrinkalizer thingy was awesome...I think he's my new celebrity crush! But...if he's not a celebrity then...

Nevermind.

Ugh I just can't get him off my mind! I feel like I'm going absolutely crazy. Wait a sec...my mom's dress has some numbers on it...wait. THE BALD MAN WROTE HIS PHONE NUMBER ON THE DRESS I WORE TO THE CHRISTMAS DANCE!! That explains why he kept...winking at me. And...smirking. I'm gonna text him to see if this is real!

Me: Hello...thank you for saving my um...friend and I yesterday.

Bald Man: No problem~

Me: So um...y did u give me ur phone number?

BM: I wanted to see you again 😳👉👈
Also my name is Gru :)

Me: Oh that's nice UwU

Gru: Wanna come to my place rn?

Me: Sure!!

Gru: here's my house address: 666

Me: okay! I'll be right there!

Gru: awesome! C ya soon ;)

Me: 😳

~End of conversation~

Wow. He's a mega flirter! I guess I gotta run to his house right now. At least it's not far.

~At his house~

Better knock on the door. Before I knocked, it opened and a lady with orange hair and a giant nose appeared. Oh she saw me already. "Hello! May I help you?" She asked. She seemed nice. "Oh yes! Does Gru live here?" I asked. "Yes...why do you ask?" She seemed hesitant about this. Wonder why. Maybe she was his sister or something. "Well...I need to see him for um...personal reasons." I said, but I sort of sounded confused while saying it. "Um okay...come in," she said, giving a confused smile. "I'll be in the kitchen...go find Gru yourself okay?" She said, nicely and smiling. "Okay!"

His house is ginormous. Massive. Gigantic. It was really dark though. The furniture was mostly covered in spikes and it smelt like dog poop. I won't say any of that allowed though, just in case I hurt his feelings. Plus, I'll sound rude. Anyway, I finally found him in his room. He was holding a little girl by her feet and it looked like...he was gonna put her in a blender!!! I screamed at the sight. The little girl had black hair and she had a unicorn on her shirt. She was adorable, but it was too late. He shoved her in the blender and turned it on. She was shredded to bits. What. The. Heck.

I started screaming again. The poor innocent girl died. And I didn't do anything about it. Well, I couldn't, Gru is way stronger then I am. He grabbed another girl by her feet. She was wearing pink and her hair was blonde. She was also really cute. She got shredded as well. All Gru did was laugh evily. There was one more girl, she had glasses and brown hair. She ran away before he could get her and put her in his blender. "Oh well," he said. Then, he put their juices in a cup and he DRANK it. HE DRANK IT! He turned over to me and said, "Wanna try a sip?" I couldn't resist his hot accent. I took a sip. Not so bad not gonna lie. He looked at me and I looked back at him. His eyes shimmered. I don't know what I was thinking, but I leaned in and...kissed him. Right on the lips. He kissed me back, and then held my hand. "I gotta go do something first," he said. He ran downstairs and holding a knife in his hand, he murdered the woman with the orange hair. "LUCY DIE, GORL," he yelled. She screamed and tried to fight back, but it was too late. Then, he yelled out, "Come on little gorrrrl." "Come heeeere gorl," he said. He was trying to find the girl with the glasses and brown hair.

I saw the girl with the glasses. She hushed at me. I got mad and yelled, "GRU. SHE'S OVER HERE!" Gru ran over to her and shoved her in the blender, the turned it on. He poured her in a cup and said to me, "Here. For you ;)." I blushed then took it. I looked at my watch. "AHHH IT'S 10:00. MY PARENTS WILL BE FURIOUS. BETTER GET BACK HOME. Bye!" I started to run, but he grabbed me by my shoulder. I winced. "Better stay here with me, little boyl." I looked at him. "It's pronounced "boy." I said, furiously. All he did was wink at me, and say "Stay the night." I couldn't resist him. "Yes master UwU," I said. Oh God. That was so bad. "I like it when you call me master ;)" he said, winking. I texted my parents saying I was at a friend's place.

"Things are gonna get steamy~ ;)" Gru said.

Yeah...maybe it will.

"Also," he continued. "That Megamind fellow..."

"Is kinda hot," we both said at the same time.

We looked at eachother and smiled. Something we can both agree on. UwU