computer code and cherry blossoms ???;; senpai x reader

(the following chapter, aside from the last paragraph, is the last of what I had written for this story. decided 2 post it before abandoning it 4ever lol)

art - cinnamight on tumblr

okay, this chapter is set up a little differently from the others? its moreso a series of events (plus a flashback) than a chapter with a concrete line of action like the others. while these events **are** chronological, they dont happen over the span of one day or one afternoon like the others do, this happens over the course of, like, a week. just bein clear w that so yall dont get confused .

uhghhhh yeah lets go

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But trying to be nice to Senpai was easier said than done.

Once again, you were utterly conflicted over the prospect. He was still a jerk, but maybe he wouldn't be if you gave him a little more understanding. It'd make living easier, sure, but you'd probably be gone in a few months anyways. There was always the idea that he wasn't a jerk, and that you both were just feeding into each other's hostility, but the again, there was what he did to Boyfriend and Girlfriend.

Needless to say, your brain felt like the worst broken record in the world, with notes that were starting to grate on your eardrums.

But god damn it, you told yourself you were going to try. You were going to stop hiding away in your room like you had been since yesterday morning, and you were going to fucking try. 

Or were you? Was it worth it to even try at all?

...

You had to get your mind off of this for a while. Luckily, you'd spent your time yesterday getting your phone to work.

Everything worked just fine; some things took a while to load, and the battery did tend to drain a lot faster than it once had, but other than that, it worked fine: enough for you to put off getting a new one, at least. Your apps and contacts were still there, but you found that your messages and pictures weren't so lucky.

...Well, kind of, anyways. Every time you tried to access them, your phone gave you a notification asking if you wanted to redownload the content that had since been lost from disuse. When it did this, it also gave you a warning, telling you that the process would take quite a while to execute and would shut down your phone as it did so. Your phone was the only thing you had to entertain yourself while you were up here, avoiding Sam and the apparently mortifying idea of being nice, so you weren't backing anything up anytime soon.

...

...and... on some level, you liked it better that way.

Ever since yesterday morning, when you remembered your conversation with Senpai's sister, you've felt more and more afraid of triggering more memories. That conversation had recontextualized how you viewed your behavior towards Senpai; it was what was causing your mind to act like a broken record now. And frankly, that was terrifying. The idea that you could see one little thing, or hear one particular phrase, and then your entire life would be turned upside down and you'd be reconsidering everything you ever thought. You wanted to remember, you needed to, but the idea was becoming more and more terrifying to you as time went on-- the thought that something backed up in your phone or tucked away in that box of old stuff could trigger a memory you didn't want to have.

And you wished that thought was just fearful, irrational thinking, but it wasn't. It'd happened the other day, when you'd decided you'd had enough of staring down at it and were shoving said box into your closet, resigning it to be looked through some other day.

Something had fallen out-- something metal, and shiny, and small-- and you'd sighed, telling yourself you'd get it after you'd situated your old belongings, and after everything was safely tucked away where you'd never see it again, you'd picked up the fallen object. It was something so miniscule, so tiny and trivial, that you would've never guessed something would've surfaced from it.

But it did.

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It was about two or three weeks into the school year. You were admittedly still adjusting to junior year, but you'd gotten by just fine: you had no upcoming assignments just yet as everyone was still in a very 'get-to-know-each-other' mindset, and you'd reconnected with your old friends from last year, including Boyfriend, Pico, and a few other people like Nene and Carol. 

You'd just gotten out of Math, and you were strolling casually to your locker. There was a break in between 5th and 6th period, so you were in no hurry whatsoever.

HAIII ok that's literally everything I wrote before I abandoned this. I don't plan on updating. there's a comment on the prev chapter that kinda explains everything. good night tri state area