Connected: Part 4 of the On The Edge Series

Billy and Jackson returned to the house with a volume of noise that only a pair of Collins boys or a herd of elephants could create. Still, the mixture of slamming doors, laughter, and eager voices made me smile.

"Hey, you," Billy said as he kissed the top of my head and glanced down at my incomplete crossword.

"Hey, Lil!" Jackson added as he poured himself a glass of juice. "I have to shower before Nonna's," he added, as a reason for his quick departure.

"Hurry," Billy called after him. "We're supposed to be there..." he peered down at his watch, "shit, now."

"I lost track of time. I can take Viv now and let them know you'll be along soon," I offered, but my tone was distracted.

"What's wrong?" Billy's brow furrowed as he inspected me and let a hand slip to my knee.

"Nothing." I gave a false laugh before redirecting the conversation. "How did it go with Jackson?" I knew Billy wouldn't be able to resist.

"That kid is amazing. If I had half the talent that he has." Billy shook his head as his eyes went vacant while his mind wandered through his morning with Jackson. Then his focus snapped back to me, "thank you."

"What did I do?"

"He never would've come to me if he didn't go to you first. You two have a connection that's good for him; it opens him up a bit."

"He's a good kid." I smiled, but my mind slipped to Viv.

"So, what's wrong?" Billy prodded again.

"Why do you keep asking me that?"

"Well, I've known you for twenty years, so I have some history on my side. You're clearly distracted, and you've had the crossword all morning and haven't finished it yet. Even I know the capital of Peru is Lima." He tapped the crossword clue as he spoke.

"Mmhmm," I agreed as I tossed my pen down and pushed the crossword away from me.

"So," Billy prodded again, "what's wrong?"

"We're moving too fast," I blurted.

"What? Woah, where did that come from?" The panic rose from deep within Billy and clouded his face with confusion.

"It came from we're moving too fast. We've tried this before and broken everything. So, we have to go slow and give everything time to adjust."

"Okay, okay." Billy lifted his hand to my shoulder as though he feared I'd bolt from him at that moment. "So, what does slower look like?"

"I don't know. We can't force this." I shook my head as my stomach twisted like I was in an actual freefall.

"Okay, what feels forced?"

"I don't know," as I spoke, my hands lifted to my head, tugging my hair back.

"Lil," but as Billy reacted, Viv meandered into the kitchen.

The three of us paused and assessed each other. For a moment, I could've sworn I saw a slight smile on Viv's face.

"Daddy, how long until we're leaving?" Viv sweetly asked.

"Ah," Billy struggled to pull his mind to Viv's question. One of his hands lifted as he rubbed his brow with the palm of his head. "Your bother is in the shower. So, probably like a half-hour, Vivee."

"Okay, I'll be in my room doing my homework." She smiled.

It clicked then; she had pushed it too far.

"Freeze." Shot out of Billy's mouth and sliced across the room. Both Viv and I froze. "What did you two do this morning?"

"Nothing." Viv shrugged as she met Billy's gaze with wide, innocent eyes.