Connected: Part 4 of the On The Edge Series

The work sabbatical was precisely what I needed. As my family arrived and the last details of the wedding stacked up, I found my mind being pulled away, but this time it wasn't because of meeting prep and reporting deadlines. I had begun to write. Initially, it was more of a journal, but occasionally I would map out a character or story idea. It felt freeing to have an outlet, but I still hid it.

I would sneak away to Billy's closet and tuck myself beneath a rack of t-shirts with my laptop glowing on my lap. I would get lost for hours at a time. Typically, it was while the kids were at school and Billy was at the studio, but as the wedding day neared, Billy spent more time at home, and the family was around more often. Still, I would steal a few minutes to write a little, even if it was just five hundred words. No one had found my hiding space.

"Lil?" Billy called out from the bedroom. "Are you here?"

"Where do you think she went?" I heard Tim's voice ask.

"Not sure. Maybe she had to run out for something," Billy suggested.

"Like literally run? Because I parked behind her car," Tim noted.

I held my breath like I was a child playing hide and seek. It would be one thing if Billy found me. I expected he would eventually stumble across me and laugh at my silliness, but Timmy could not find me; I would never live it down.

"She must be downstairs or in the barn; we just missed her," Billy offered. "Go take a look; I'll be right down."

"Is that code for you need to take a shit?" Tim asked.

"Really, dude?" Billy groaned.

"I'll take that as a yes," Tim chuckled, before heading out of the room.

"Lil," I heard Billy's voice softer, but still at a good distance. "Lil, I know you're hiding in my closet," he noted.

"How?" I called out to him.

"Because nothing in my closet glows, and your laptop isn't on the desk," I explained.

I crawled out of my hiding space and composed myself before joining him in the bedroom.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, everything is great," I offered.

"But you are hiding because..."

"I wouldn't say hiding; I would say focusing," I noted

"And what are you focusing on?" Billy prodded.

"Remember when you suggested writing?" I tentatively offered.

Billy's eyes grew wide before a smile spread across his face. "Oh, okay. Great. No need to talk about it. I know that the creative process can make you do weird things," he added.

"Weird, like hiding in a closet?" I asked.

"I once wrote a complete song in a shower in Cincinnati. It had great acoustics." Billy shrugged.

I could see the relief flow from his body.

"Billy, did you think I had cold feet?" I asked with a giggle.

"No... maybe... yes," he sheepishly admitted.

"Billy Collins, I can't wait to marry you tomorrow. And I can't wait to spend every day with you for the rest of my life," I offered as I slid onto his lap.

"Noted," Billy added.

"Is that going to be your wedding vows? I say my vows, and you say noted," I teased.

"Would that fly? I mean, I could get into that," he chuckled back. 

The following day, I found myself cramped in a makeshift lobby at the back of the barn with only a sheet between Billy and me. Despite our protests, the family demanded that we not spend the night before our wedding together. I stayed at Mary's with my family, Tess, and Viv, while the boys stayed at the house. I'd never admit it to them, but even the single night apart made the anticipation of seeing Billy that much more significant.