Connected: Part 4 of the On The Edge Series

The Collins family Christmas was exactly what I expected: loud, loving, and completely overwhelming. There were so many nieces and nephews I had never met before, and everyone seemed to defer the holiday to celebrate the engagement instead. The first chance I got, I slipped away to my former office for a moment of peace. A flair of anxiety erupted within me. If being in a house of my soon-to-be family made me hide, what about the tour?

"Hey," Jackson tentatively said from the doorway. "Mind if I hide with you?"

"Never, come in," I eagerly prompted.

"How was Maine?" Jackson asked as he settled on the couch next to me.

"It was good." My tight smile wasn't convincing. "It was a mix. Some highs," I flashed my ring. "And there were some lows."

"My dad seems," Jackson collected his words, "more confident. Probably because you said yes," Jackson noted.

"We had a lot of good discussions while we were away. I think we know where we are and where we want to go," I explained. "How was your holiday? How did the big present go?"

"She cried." Jackson let out a snort of a laugh. "I think it was because she liked it and not because it made her ears bleed," he added with a shrug.

"I'm sure it was because she loved it. You know, your dad played a song for your mom when he was around your age, and she also cried. When he saw what he had done, he almost gave up music."

"Yeah?"

"Mmhmm, but then it was Mary that set him on a path to make music his career."

"I'm not looking to make any career choices," he cautioned.

"Smart," I agreed as my mind filtered back to the tour.

"What are you worrying about?" Jackson asked as he inspected my face, just as his father would frequently do.

I wiped away the thoughts with a genuine smile at the person Billy and Sarah had raised. "Nothing, it's fine."

"You don't want to tell me because I'm a kid?"

"No," I immediately blurted. "I'm just a little nervous about the tour. If a house full of family makes me run away, what will a stadium of strangers do?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. Touring is pretty decent for introverts. Says the introvert," he laughed.

"Really? All those people every night?"

"Yeah, I mean, there are a lot of people there, but you only come into contact with the same twenty people. All the people working on the tour become a second family. They all have embarrassing stories of Viv and me when we were kids that they love to share."

"Oh, well, that sounds fun," I teased, but my mind drifted to panic attacks from nearly twenty years ago.

"Still worried?"

"Unfortunately, as much fun as embarrassing stories sound, I have some memories of touring as well. They aren't as fond," I admitted.

"Have you talked to my dad about it?"

"No, not yet. Honestly, with the holidays and everything, I haven't spent much time thinking about it."

"I knew you two would be in here," Viv shot from the door before entering and plopping down next to Jackson. "Hiding?"

"Just catching up," I offered. "How was your holiday?"

"Good. Jackson made mom cry, so that was hilarious." Viv gave Jackson a nudge with his elbow.