HE CAN'T HAVE WHAT I HAVE

It was a normal Sunday. Well, as normal as a Sunday after Christmas could be.

John once again walked into work, spotting LightningSpeed in his office. "What are you doing here?" asked John. "You said, back when Pikagirl55 died to 'Come find you, then we'll talk.' So, start talking," LightningSpeed said, "What did you do to Pikagirl!?" "Oh, you silly silly boy," John said. He was drunk as he spoke, his words slurring together like a baby learning how to talk. "I merely forced her to commit suicide." "Why!?" "She dared challenge my creation. I made her win the trial, hoping the AP3 would collapse, which they did, and then hoping the Magisterium would run out of money.

"But think of it this way, my dear LightningSpeed. That trial didn't need to happen. In fact, the trial itself was my first attempt to destroy the Magisterium. Pikagirl55 was the one to do it because she messed with A. Sheuay's creation. I basically drove her to die. The AP3 lawsuit was always going to turn out against them, the question really was who got the prize money. Pikagirl55 was a nice easy target. She hated the Alex and Nina stories, giving her a motive. Once I knew she was the one, I messed with Rick and forced him to tell her it was a good idea. Once all that was said and done, Mr. Sheuay's Lawsuit commenced, and she won.

"Now, she felt bad that she won, since she wasn't expecting it to literally destroy the AP3. Adding onto that the fact that Book!Luke supposedly kills A. Sheuay was quite convenient timing, as it would make her feel worse about taking money from a dead man. This, combined with the fact that she doesn't want all this money, drove her into a state of questioning herself and feeling bad that eventually drove her to suicide.

"So, it wasn't entirely my fault. I just had a small hand to play in it."

Silence filled the room as each word soaked into and simmered into his brain, like beef marinating in its own juice. "...I knew it..." LightningSpeed spoke with a growl. He stared at John, fire in his eyes, "You piece of crap!" "Look, I'm sorry, I just—" "Sorry doesn't cut it buster!" LightningSpeed shouts back, "Lemme guess, Monika's in on it too?" "What, no! This was my choice and my choice alone!"

"Well, that doesn't change the fact that I still hate her."

"Why? What's your bone to pick with her?"

"...I just don't like her, ok!?"

"Me neither!"

"Which is why I teamed up with neither of you! I killed Alex Miller because I don't like Monika, and I stole the hard drive so A. Sheuay would get mad at you!"

"Oh, I see, so you just hate everyone!?"

"What!? No!"

"Sounds like it!"

"Everything to you is hatred! You seem to experience nothing but hatred. And you just spread that hatred around to others because why!? Why would you kill my sister over the book! A book for crying out loud!"

"Look, I did the best I could to contain myself, but I...I just couldn't, ok!? I'm sorry I did what I did. I just...I wanted the Magisterium gone!"

"So, you put my sister in danger because you wanted to get rid of the Magisterium!? You selfish asshole!"

"I'm sorry, LightningSpeed, truly I am."

"You aren't sorry! You've never been sorry!"

"...I know..."

LightningSpeed stares at the sad, selfish man. This wasn't the conversation he was expecting to have, but he finally got some closure on why his sister committed suicide.

It was hard for him.

"By the way, there's one thing I never did learn about you..."

"My name?"

"Yes."

"...John Aardvark..."

"What a stupid name."

"My mother hated it too, or my father was just an asshole, one of the two."

LightningSpeed walks out the door, angrily. He was done listening to John and his stupid self.

John, meanwhile, turns back to his computer, turning it on, hoping to finish the documentary today and move on with life. Publish it on the 31st, at 11:59, and have everything come out on the first of January 2022. Then, he'd never have to see the Magisterium ever again. It could he over. The book closes, and he ends this nightmare. He takes another swig of whiskey, as he looks at the footage he was working on. It was Jack Sheuay's sign off for the very last Nick Wilde Company documentary.

"And with that," the video played, "We wrap up our final days of the Nick Wilde Company and move on to a new documentary starting this year, 2022! I'd love to see what's in store next for Murphy Enterprise Incorporated's Documentary Department! This is Jack Sheuay, signing off. See you next time!"

John couldn't take it. Seeing Jack, so happy, signing off, optimistic as always about the future of the company...God, it was like he was there, edging John on to keep going. "I'm sorry Jack..." was all John could utter before the whiskey, combined with Jack's sudden optimism, hit him in the gut and he broke down, crying over his keyboard. It was like he had just killed two of Jack's children in a car accident and felt horrible about it. Jack Sheuay was always optimistic when it came to stuff like that...everytime he'd sign off, wishing the viewers the best day ever. God, he loved him. He loved him so much. Platonically, sure, but they felt closer to brothers than anything else. It felt like John had lost his entire family. With no kids, all that remained was his wife and brotherly friend, Jack. But both are gone and he's all alone, all by himself, with nothing left to do but question his life choices up until this moment.

As his crying slowed, he started into his office, off at nothing, really.

5 more days remained until the end of the year...

He'd get lucky if he made through next year at all, or even the first month...