I Saw The Lights Go Out - Carl Grimes

I didn't think anyone slept that night. Even if I did let my eyes close, I didn't feel any relief from it. The events of last night seemed to go by in a blur but also seemed to last forever.

I hadn't heard screaming panic like that since the Wolves attacked. The frenzy that erupted from the people had even transferred into our group this time. People ran into the dark, even after Pete was pinned to the ground and we knew walkers had slipped through the walls. Even more people screamed when Deanna gave Rick the order of execution.

Being out on my own, it wasn't often that I heard a scream in the distance. Now, in Alexandria, it seemed to happen every day and they kept getting louder.

By sunrise, two new names would be added to the cemetery memorial wall. Since being here, the list had more than doubled. I was sure another column would be needed to keep up with those we'd lost. But again, I continued to avoid it. So what would I know?

Eventually, Michonne ushered us away from the scene and from there, Daryl kept a strong hold on Carl's shoulder to the house despite his protests. Although I would normally push and shove along with Carl to stand up for myself as more than the child they saw us as, this time I found myself with my head down keeping in pace with Daryl's steps.

I remember only one man had remained calm in that final moment of Pete's life. He muttered Rick's name in astonishment as if he expected better of him. I didn't get a good look at him, but what does it matter? After tearing my gaze from Ron, my eyes were only on the two men who were just breathing only moments before. They deserved my attention, my mourning.

Once the doors where shut Carl raged about wanting to help, and that just because it was his dad out there it didn't mean he couldn't be involved. Eventually he followed me upstairs when Michonne kept guard of the front door, forbidding him escape into the night. All I wanted to do was go to sleep, but again, that didn't happen.

After a few hours of Carl's pacing at the end of the bed, the rest of the group eventually settled back inside. The squeak of the front door was loud against the shuddered silence and Carl was quick to meet his father downstairs.

When he left I found myself replaying the event in my mind not knowing what to make of it. I wasn't sure if this meant Rick would be locked out of Alexandria for good or if he was Deanna's go-to man. I didn't know if Pete's death was a good thing or not, or if this community would continue to thrive without Reg. Needless to say, I didn't notice Carl had returned to bed until he turned out the lights.

The moon was bright that night as I watched it rise high in the sky. It fell behind the houses and the rising sun took its place. Somewhere between its cycle my eyes must have closed as I didn't feel nearly as tired as I thought I would be. However, that didn't mean the chill from my bones had lessened.

"Get something to eat, we're going out today." I tossed Carl's backpack to him as he sat up groggily from his side of the bed. He recoiled from the sudden test of his reflexes but caught the bag effortlessly.

"Where are we going?" Carl stared at me as I pulled my jeans up my bare legs. Though his heart was heavy he still took the time to watch.

"We dealt with the town meeting, no matter how fucked that turned out, which means we're finding Enid next."

Carl sighed from my answer. "No, Avery. I can't do that today, my dad still needs my help." Carl shook his head rubbing his face overwhelmed.

"You're dad will be here when we get back, Enid won't be until we find her."

I placed his worn down hat on my head before reaching for the door hoping to he'd follow along. My heart twinged when Carl didn't leap from the bed. His shoulders were slump forward off the bed as the gears ground in his mind.