I Saw The Lights Go Out - Carl Grimes

"This is my house." Noah breathed out, hands on his knees breathing irregularly. I stood behind him to catch my own breath.

The home looked to be a bungalow style, baby blue with a one car garage and a large oak tree out front. I could almost see Noah and his little brothers climbing it and begging their parents to make a treehouse at the top.

Noah didn't make a move to step past the property line, just from that alone anyone could tell he was aching. I couldn't imagine what he was feeling as he stared upon the home, I didn't think I could step into my own vacant home bursting at the seams with all of my childhood memories. I'd already had the vision of my family tainted with memories of death and panic. He shouldn't sour the memory of his own family, too. I only wished I could have the pristine recollection of them as Noah still did.

"You don't want to go in there." Tyreese took the words out of my mouth from behind us. 

Noah didn't take his eyes off of his small childhood home. I shook my head at him hoping he'd see me from his peripheral.

"Yes, I do." Noah said sharply though there was no anger in his tone, only desire and denial. I stepped forward, worried.

"Let me see first." Tyreese held his palm out as he rounded his way past us and up the front steps before Noah could respond. 

I then stepped in front of Noah much like Carl would do for me trying to rezone his attention from the house, blocking his view as Tyreese slipped through the front door.

"You have a beautiful home here, Noah." I kept my voice soft and low trying to catch his eye. His lips pursed hard together trying to keep his cries suppressed. "Listen to me, please. I would do anything, anything to go back and keep the vision of my home and family the way that it was. The memories we made when I was a child, good and bad, is all I wish I could remember. But what I saw after all of this happened is something I wish I could erase. You don't want to see in there, keep the memories alive and keep them pure. Trust me." 

A tear passed down my cheek against my will, I didn't want to cry in front of him. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

"You know I can't do that. I came all this way." He swallowed hard and moved to stare past me trying to catch a glimpse inside, to find a sign that his family was still living happily in there despite the wreckage beyond its doors. I touched his arm softly bringing his eyes back to me.

"Yes, you did. And I am so proud of you. You did everything in your power to come home, you even convinced a group of sixteen people to come with you, to help them along with yourself. How proud would they have been to see you bringing another family to salvation? Helping all of us, a beautiful selfless act. Your goal was to get here and you did, but you don't need to go inside." I squeezed his arm as he clutched onto my wrist tightly. He hung his head between us with eyes pinched closed.

"Please, tell me this isn't real." Noah's lip quivered and he balled his fists up tight at his sides. My mouth opened, then closes sadly; a frown forcing my lips shut. I cursed myself for not being able to say what he was begging to hear from me. "I tried to come back sooner." He shifted on his feet and hung his head further in regret before scrubbing at his face.

My lips parted to reassure him in any possible way, but suddenly, the words were caught in my throat. Tyreese screamed through the still air silencing all around. My eyes went wide and Noah's head shot up looking past me in confusion and worry. I looked to the front door then back at Noah. Tyreese was in trouble.

"You stay here." I ordered quickly walking backward toward the door. Noah shook out his hands preparing to enter his house after our friend.

"No way." Noah stalked in the direction of his home and I turned around to run inside not having the time to argue with him.