???????' ??? ?? ??? ??????????, offlinetv

michael, closely examining a taser: hypothetical question; how many times would i have to tase someone to kill them?
lily, turning to scarra: do you think a day care would take a 24 year old?

yvonne: y/n, i need a favour
y/n, boredly: i'm not giving you a lap dance again.
sydney: lap dance?!?
scarra: AGAIN???

poki: so what have you two been up to?
michael: we have a pet, dog
poki: what? that's great, guys!
lily: yeah! do you wanna see?
michael: *pulls out live lobster*
lily: this is our pet lobster. we named him dog.
poki:

sydney: hey michael, whatcha doin?
michael, guarding a fishbowl: nothing.
sydney: ...what's in the bowl?
michael: no living thing, ha, ha.. ha...
sydney:
sydney: i don't like what that implies

lily, fed up: i don't give a single fuck, toast!
toast: that implies you give two fucks-

scarra: lunch is on me today. any ideas?
jodi: pizza?
john: sushi!
michael: *suspicious that yvonne is an anteater* ants?
michael: [stares at yvonne for her reaction]

ludwig: the sound of nature is just the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects, desperately trying to get laid.
qt: it's just like highschool!
anyone ever:
mogul money contestant: ...w- was that the question?

john: *standing outside the door* baaabe
john: honey
john: puddin'
john: the longer you don't answer the weirder the names get
john: cereal
john: room temperature milk
john: nandos
john: cold mcdonald's fries-
jodi: john, i told you. i'm trying to take a shi-

sydney: wait, we're doing what for today's video?
brodin: it's a game invented