???????' ??? ?? ??? ??????????, offlinetv

poki, standing up dramatically: [lawyer voice] mother and fuckers of the jury-
scarra: what are you doing?
poki: practicing
scarra: for WHAT??

y/n: *kisses yvonne*
yvonne: ew what is this
y/n: affection
yvonne: disgusting
y/n:
yvonne: do it again.

toast: why is your back covered in scratch marks?
lily: *flashbacks to her and michael chasing a raccoon after toast told them to leave it alone*
lily: i'm having an affair

*rae, making a poem for the sykkuno fans*
rae: roses are red, violets are blue
rae: if you don't simp for sykkuno, you will die
sykkuno: that doesn't even rhyme

robber: give me your wallet
sydney: sorry, i don't have one
robber: *puts hand in pocket*
sydney: no really, my friends have been telling me to get one for 7 years
robber: just give me your money
sydney: i don't have any money
robber: then give me your credit cards
sydney: no like i have negative money

y/n: *staring at brodin from across the room*
sydney: you know, y/n, i have a sneaking suspicion that you like a certain someone
y/n: ok, tell your suspicion that bitch is right

jodi: *doing eyeliner and monologuing to herself*
jodi: now see, when i do the wings, i like to make them big enough so that one day, i'll be able to fly away from the bullshittery of this world.
jodi: but hey, that's just me.

michael: yesterday, i finally made lily smile!
poki: really? how did you manage to do that?
michael: i... i tripped over my feet and fell down the stairs
michael: but still!

sydney, jokingly: hey jodi. i went to get a snack from the fridge but you weren't there
john: ooh that was smooth
jodi: *without looking up* well that's probably because i don't live in a fridge.

peter: john... why are you on top of the christmas tree?
john: *smirking and looking over his sunglasses* because i'm a star!
john: *falls off the tree*

aria: this cookie is not even fully baked and too salty. if i would rate it, i would give it a three points-
john, sadly: i made it...
aria: out of three points.

yvonne: can you not stand so close to me? you're making me claustrophobic.
miyoung: what's claustrophobic?
toast: it means she's afraid of santa claus
yvonne: NO IT DOES NOT-
miyoung: HO HO HO!!
toast: STOP IT YOU'RE SCARING HER

aria: jaime just asked if 10 is a big number. what do i tell her?
aria: cuz like- 10 dollars isn't a lot of dollars, but 10 murders is a lot of murders
lily: is there actually something wrong with you?
aria: why? context is important

sydney: i'd die for you
jodi: not to be mean or anything, but yesterday you said you'd die for a slab of chocolate, so i don't feel very special.
sydney: i- i'd... live for you... then??

tina: winning the beautiful baristas heart via physical comedy!
corpse: you slipped in starbucks again didn't you
tina: *sobs*

sydney: so, what did john get you for your anniversary?
jodi: *flashbacks to her happily digging through a bin of multi-coloured rocks at a gift shop while john watches*
jodi: hehe... about that...

peter: you know what i don't understand?
aria: what?
peter: what an acre is. how big is an acre?!
aria: about the size of a parking lot.
peter: oh, that makes sense
peter:
peter: *realizes all parkings lots are different sizes and she has no fucking clue either*

no one:
rae to sykkuno: not to be dramatic but i would fucking die for you.