we shouldn't

TW: Self-harm and alcohol consumption.

After straightening out my curls, putting on some makeup, and picking out an outfit, I was in Billie's car on the way to a party.

"So who's all gonna be there?" I asked anxiously, taking a hit from my vape.

"Honestly I don't know. Some of my friends and random people I guess" Billie shrugged, with a hand placed on my thigh.

"Your friends? Oh god"

"They will love you. Don't worry about it angel" she smiled, pulling up to a large house.
I could already hear the music and see colourful flashing lights through the windows.

"You ready?" Billie asked.

"Kiss first?" I pouted my lips.

Billie smiled at me and put her hand behind my neck, pulling me over the centre console for a kiss.

"Okay now?" She asked.

I nodded my head and got out of the car, walking right next to Billie into the house.

The house was stuffy and filled with dancing sweaty bodies.
The air was dense and reminded me of the past parties I used to go to. Only this time I don't plan on getting wasted to the point where I don't remember anything.

Billie led me to the corner of the room where there were people comfortably sitting on a couch.

"Hey guys" Billie greeted the people. Giving a few of them hugs.

"This is Spencer" she introduced me to all of them.

"Hey" I smiled, sitting next to Billie on one of the empty spaces.

They started talking about random nonsense and I found myself staring at Billie. Admiring her humour and the way she looks when she laughs. I took lots of hits from my vape, trying to suppress the urge to go outside and ask someone for a hit.

"SPENCER!" I heard someone shout in the distance. I looked around the room spotting... Emmy.

"Oh my god, Emmy!" I exclaimed. Hoping off the couch to give her a hug.

"It's been what like 2 years?" She asked pulling away from the hug.

"Something like that" I shrugged.

"What have you been up to? I missed you"

"Ya know, moving house to house and shit. But I think I finally found a permanent one, with my siblings" I smiled.

"I'm so happy for you!" She smiled genuinely.

"What about you?" I asked.
Just then a dark skin girl with mid-length poker-straight hair came up and wrapped her arms around Emmy.

"V-vanessa?" I asked, in shock.

"Spencer?" Vanessa laughed, rolling her eyes. I couldn't tell if she was just wasted or still a bitch.

"Hi" I mumbled, glancing back to see Billie watching me.

"Spencer, this is my girlfriend," Emmy said with guilt in her voice.

"Wait are you serious?"

"Yes, she is" Vanessa smirked, kissing her on the cheek.

"That's great" I faked a smile. "Well, see ya around" I waved and sat back down next to Billie, watching them walk off.

"You okay?" Billie asked, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.

"Yeah" I mumble. My brain tuning out the conversations going on around me. Memories of the past flooding my head.