The end of times

he could hardly stand on his own. Carl looked up to see me his eyes softened they finally made it to the rode where rick started walking on his own carl pulled me into a bone crushing hug i could hear his breathless sob "what happened" i whispered in his ear i could feel his tears soaking my shirt he held to my shirt as he sobbed i hugged him tight he never answered perhaps now wasn't the time to ask i reached down and gently grabbed his hand whispering as i did so "cmon, we should start moving" he nodded slightly his dad had his head down in sadness carl ignored him as we contained to walk "carl" rick called. Carl's grip on my hand tightened. I started looking around as I soon became bored. I could hear Rick's faint calling towards him. Soon enough we came to a town and we found a house to camp out at. I went up to check the bedrooms clearly and mentally checked off. I could hear them arguing walking closer to the stairs where I heard Carl banging on a wall "hey asshole!" "Hey shit face" just as he was about to repeat "watch ur mouth!" Rick yelled back "are you kidding me, if there was any they would have come up already" i scoffed at Carl's behavior before finding the bathroom finally. When i finished i walked out of the bathroom to see Carl in one of the bedrooms he looked over before pushing a bunch of random things down he did itt with one hand as he continued walking around the room i slowly stepped in "hey" i spoke "hey" he said back "u doing ok?" "im fine" he said a harsh tone "carl you know u can talk to me" "i said im fine" he raised his voice a bit at me i left the room shortly stepping outside the house looking for food i walked around when i saw carl get tackled by a walker i killed it shortly after "i had it!" he yelled "i was just trying to look out for you" "like how you looked out for patrick? Look how well that turned out, they should have just left you out there" he spoke his harsh words i didn't know how to respond my heart ached. He said it so easily like he truly meant it. I backed away from him before walking the other way, tears forming in my eyes as I walked back in the house. It was hard as the couch rick laid on was in the way. I quickly made my way up to them as I picked a room that wasn't his. I shut the door before slumping down against pulling my leg to chest sobbing quietly. It took me a bit to get over the fact he died but I blamed myself for it for a little. I heard something slam down the stairs as I heard the stairs creaking "Jay" . His voice rang out. I held my breath hoping he would leave. It was quiet, perhaps he left or maybe he was still out there just waiting. A soft knock was placed at my door and I didn't respond "jay... i know you're in there, i just, i just wanna say i'm sorry i was mad not even at you." sorry I wasn't gonna cut it this time. But he continued "I had no right to say that" he sighed out "I would rather talk to you about this face to face, will you please open the door?" I was hesitant. Should I open it? I was curious about what he would say. So I placed my hand on the cold medal knob, twisting it. I kept my head down not wanting to look at him. I opened it just a sliver before he pushed it all the way open. I backed up for him to walk in and shut the door his way in. "jay?" I stared at the hard wood floor. "Please look at me" I refused till I felt his shaky hand underneath my chin making me look up. He looked...sad it got worse when he saw my face. He wiped my tears with his thumb. I pulled away "what did you have to say?" I spoke out my voice shaking. He sat on the bed patting the spot for me to join him. I did but made sure we were a decent distance apart. "Jay, what I said you never deserved to hear. It wasn't fair for you. I was just mad and took it out on you i know that's no excuse" "you're right there is no excuse" "i'm sorry" "sometimes sorry isn't enough" he nodded "i know that...i do" "why did u say it" "i'm not sure it just slipped out" "did u mean it?" "Not at all, Patrick's death wasn't your fault, it was just a sad accident. I'm very glad my dad and Daryl found you. I'm glad they brought you back. '''' If you were so glad, why were you so mean to me?" "because you were the first girl i've met that was my age i wasn't really upset about the fact they brought you i was adjusting to all the other people that came" "so you never hated me?" "of course not" "then why did you avoid me?" he took my hand before taking a breath in "because i liked you a lot when you first came i couldn't stop thinking about you when you met patrick the way you talked to him the way you smiled. It was just to much for me i got scared of rejection i was scared as i haven't had a crush on someone who i would see every waking day it got worse when dad gave you your chores and you had to help me.'' It was a lot to process. I was still upset by what he said to me but I can understand where he was coming from. I was angry for a little bit too. Or maybe it was the fact that he confessed to me he confessed he had a crush for over a month. I liked him back of course. "I understand if dont like me the same, I've been nothing but an asshole to you." "Carl" he looked over at me with concern '"i'' i wasn't sure how to finish my sentence "i like you too'' i rushed "but why i've been so rude to you" "it started when u were there for me when patrick died. When my father died I didn't have anyone to turn to. So when he passed you were there" he sat there i looked at him trying to think what he could possibly be thinking "can i do something?" he said nervously "uh...yea sure?" he turned my way grabbing my face softly before leaning in and he froze just a few inches away from each other "may i?" he asked and I nodded . He smiled slightly before I felt our lips connect. I felt my stomach do flips it felt like it lasted forever but it realaitly it only lasted a few seconds he pulled away flustered "fuck" i spoke "what?" he tilted his head in confusion "i'm hungry" he laughed before pulling me up to my feet ''let's go find something then" i nodded he held my hand as we walked down the steps and towards a house i stayed down stairs as he went up stairs i found 112 ounces of pudding i found 2 spoons before continuing there was commotion going up stairs i walked cautiously before carl came out slamming the door behind him i looked down and he was missing a shoe? He wrote something on the door "walker inside he took my shoe im fine tho" he laughed a little before turning around to see me we smiled as i gave him a spoon we climbed out a window where we ate it all together "carl" "hmm" "can i ask what happened that night" he froze he made if bread but to the point i would understand after a bit we started heading back but i was yanked back he had a sly smile plastered across his face "what?" i giggled slightly he bent down a tad and kissed me once more before we walked back to the house we squeeze our way in carl looked at his dad for a little before i went upstairs to a bed i let him be alone i knew he needed a moment i waited for a bit to hear the stairs creaking he appeared shortly after "you ok" i asked as he walked towards me and sat on the bed he sighed out "he's ok" he let out happily i smiled "that's good" i spoke softly to him he nodded his eyes were glossy. He pulled me into a hug pulling me down with him. He held me tightly almost as if he was afraid I would disappear. I froze before running smoothly on his back. I felt him jump a little before he hummed in content. I could hear his soft snoring. It brought a smile to my face as I as well closed my eyes waiting for the darkness to wash over me.
I felt a hand on my shoulder once again. I was in the puddle. I knew exactly how to find them. This time I didn't have to touch her shoulder. She was already waiting. She looked tired, almost as if she hadn't slept in days. "Oh my" a voice appeared behind me. Turning around all I could see was a shadow, a man of the dark "what have you done to yourself" "what" "you poor thing" i was so confused until i followed his eyes my. My legs. They were...bleeding "what..what happened" pulling my pants leg up was a huge gash gasping slightly, feeling me shake slightly fear washing over me. How? That's when it hurt the piercing feeling going through my skin. I cried out as if I felt like my own skin was ripping. I felt shaking on my shoulders and a slight slap on my left shoulder looking up slightly as tears rolled down. I saw carl
"Jay!" I closed my eyes in pain before opening them again. I was back on the bed. "Hey you ok." he said. I looked around, tears still in my eyes. I checked my legs but...nothing. I put my hands on my face as I groaned these dreams are gonna kill me. I felt him touch my shoulder "you ok?" i nodded "i think so" "what happened" "just a bad dream" "it was my younger...friends" "who?" "these 8 yr olds i met a while back, it's a long story" "we got all day" "well i was in a gas station they were there all alone no one to help them so i took them we found a town where they found their mother but the town had a breakout..i wasn't able to go back to them" he nodded "but why were you crying?" "its stupid" he shrugged "my leg had a gash in it and i could feel everything i could feel my skin bleeding" "lets get ready" "for what" "we need food" i nodded i looked down and realized i had blood on my clothes "shit" i muttered "whats wrong" he walked up from behind me i could feel his breath on my back "my shirt" he smiled "i have a extra one" he walked to a random back i never recognized before. Pulling a shirt out "here" i looked at it before taking it
"I'll be back" I said before walking away. The plaid shirt was slightly bigger than me . As he slightly fell off my shoulder I walked out. He turned around with a slight blush. I walked up to him "does it look ok" "it looks great" he smiled before pulling me by my arms I looked up "what?" I said with a cheesy smile he leaned down before pecking me on the lips. I pulled away with a bigger smile and blush. I tried pulling away but he did it once again then twice. "carl!" I giggled as he pulled away, smiling "what" he whined. "Let's go," I said softly. He rolled his eyes playfully before taking my hand. We walked down stairs before we saw his dad sitting up slightly. He let my hand go and I walked out giving them both space to talk. I walked down the old worn out patio sitting down on the hardwood floor. I waited patiently for them as I let my mind wander and my eye caught a weirdly shaped cloud. I always loved clouds as a kid, they made me feel happy. I was once told that's where passed loved ones go. I always dreamed about being up there, the softness of the clouds, the warmth the sun provided, wrapping yourself in a soft cloud in midnight light. Would my father be up there? I missed my father deeply as he was the only one who lifted me up when I fell. I'm not sure about my mother. I only had one memory of her and that was when she left. I'm not sure why but my father never answered my questions. I never met any other family members. He was my only one, but that's in the past now. A loud slam came from behind me pulling me out of my thoughts. Turning around to see a pissed off carl "what happened?" i asked with concern "lets go" he said before gripping tightly on to my arm till the point it hurt he walked fast "carl!" I yelled out that he ignored me "Carl stop!" Finally he stopped. I bumped right into him "what!" he yelled "what's your deal" his grip tightened "him! He never listens!" i tried to ignore the pain in my arm as he continued ranting to me he soon calmed down his grip not losing "carl" i whispered he looked at me with shiny eyes "what" his voice was soft and low "please let go" he looked down and released his grip "im sorry" "dont be" "did i hurt you" he asked with concern "no" i lied he gently picked my arm up seeing the redness displayed amongst it he sighed out "im sorry" he repeated "its ok carl" "but i hurt you" he spoke to me he rubbed my sore arm gently before walking in slow pace where i could keep up. "What did he say" "what?" "what did your dad say" "he just said stuff" "like what" he sighed out "he called you a bad influence on me" "why?" "I'm not sure" we walked to different houses that we didn't get to get earlier. We actually found food this time. I couldn't shake the feeling of being a bad influence on him, was i? Didn't mean to be, I just needed someone and I knew he did too. The day went by very quickly. We got a nice surprise. Michonne came out of nowhere. I let Carl and her be alone. I laid in the cold empty bed waiting, waiting for him to join me. I heard footsteps walking up the stairs.