I'm Yours

Marinette thought she knew every shade of green, at least every shade of green in Felix's eyes. That is, until he came to school the next morning. It was a cruel, cold, and callous shade. She felt like she was seeing a new person, because there's no way this was the same boy she laughed with all the time. No, he looked mean on the outside but inside he was rather warm. But this time it was cold through and through.

He walked into the classroom, missing the first class so that it was now break, with a completely new aura, it was strong and dominant. It made everyone silent when he came in. More than the new look in his eyes though, Marinette noticed something else. He looked like he had been crying. 

She wanted to ask him what happened last night, what happened that made him so out of sorts.

But she couldn't, she couldn't find the strength to. Finally, she dropped her pen purposely to hit Felix's shoe.

"Oh, sorry." She said nervously, stooping down to grab it. He didn't do anything, just stared at her. Expressionless. Lost in his thoughts. He couldn't focus that day, it was like the rest of the world was some weird fever dream and he was the only thing that was real. He couldn't think of anything else but his mother in a hospital bed, and how that was his fault. It was funny no matter what happened he always blamed himself. He was angry, but he was sad.

He always felt like he needed to apologize, before he tried to fight it. He made mistakes, and knew they were all his fault. It would eat him up inside, so he wouldn't apologize or even spare the person he wronged a glance. He refused to. It was his way of fighting the voices that told him to beg for forgiveness, his way of telling himself its not all his fault.

But that was before, and now is now. It took too much energy to try and fight it, so he decided to just accept it. He let himself believe the voices, every words they would say. And he didn't care.

He was sick of this already, feeling things was exhausting. But... His eyes fell on the girl next to him, on her soft smile when she noticed him staring. She looked back at him with a soft gaze. He was taken by surprise, it was a look like that was so unfamiliar to him. and he thought maybe not all feelings were exhausting.

For a moment he lets himself stay there, looking into her ocean blue eyes.

Then a moment is gone, and he breaks his gaze.  What was he thinking, all feelings are exhausting. How? Because when you have something worth keeping, what happens when you lose it?

His heart drops when he realizes what he has to do; let her go.\

~

Sorry I haven't been updating, but i came back to this app and saw all the notifs. THIS TOTALLY BLEW UP??? I'm not sure why, but im so thankful you guys read this story and are enjoying it. I know I don't respond to everyone, but I see all your comments and they make my day.