Shadowcat's Shadow Man (Kitty Pryde x Male Reader)

Word Count: 1413

Good is... very subjective... what's good for one is bad for another and as someone who spent half his life doing something that 90% of the world population agrees is bad... I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING! What do good people do... ok they help elderly people cross the road... I think let's try that!

Y/N: Hello elderly civilian would you like assistance in crossing this perilous road?

Lady: Elderly! I'm 36!

Y/N: Oh... you uh... look very... mature?

Lady: Fuck off!

Jeez... she was 36... must have some shit genes... anyway uh... oh getting a cat out of a tree! That's good!

Y/N: Hello child would you like assistance in obtaining that cat from the tree

STOP SPEAKING LIKE A FUCKING ROBOT!

Child: Yes please

Alright now just climb up the tree and...

Y/N: Here Kitty Kitty... AH!

Ok... that was one bad pussy... WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE CATS!

Y/N: Here's your... angry ball of fur!

Child: Thank you mister... your a real hero

Ok on the right track here... What's that I see some teen boy vandalising a wall... not in my city

Y/N: Hey you... what are you doing don't you know that vandalism is... huh that's actually pretty cool... really makes the alley pop... you're good I'll admit

Artist: Thanks man... you need something?

Y/N: Well I was gonna tell you off but... that's really cool... need any help?

Artist: Yeah I forgot my ladder can you give me a boost?

Y/N: Yeah sure!

I let this guy stand on my shoulders to finish his work and when he is done damn is it cool!

Artist: Aye thanks bro

Y/N: No problem

Teen: Damn that's cool... Hey aren't you that shadow man that worked for those anti-mutant guys?

Why does everyone think it's shadow man!

Y/N: It's just shadow and yeah but I'm trying to be a good guy... my therapist recommended it

Teen: Yeah I feel like anyone with half a braincell would recommend helping out street artists over committing race based genocide

Y/N: Anyway I got time for more good so I'll see you around!

Ok so today I've saved an asshole cat, helped a street artist... oh and accidentally called a 36 year old lady elderly... so far so good.

???: Hey!

What? Was that too me... who would wanna talk to me... OH FUCK OFF!

Y/N: Oh lord... I've already dealt with one angry kitty I don't need to deal with another!

Kitty: Well you should've about that before... wait what?

Y/N: What?

Kitty: Two angry kitties?

Y/N: Oh yeah got this cat out of a tree... major asshole and now I'm dealing with you... major asshole

Kitty: Fuck off!

Y/N: Gladly

Take this opportunity to walk away and nope she's gonna phase right through me to stop me... bitch handed me all the ammunition I needed!