R E A L

I was still wearing the ring he got me, still thinking about how it would be when we woke up, kissing me like he didn't care. Always late no matter what we did, and he was the same playing between my legs and then my natural curls. Raw me was his favourite he said, fresh faced, as he told me he was going to wash up and go on and head out. I knew I could make him stay, make him do whatever despite his street image and reputation.
" You mean to tell me... you can't stay a lil...half an hour... something light"
" Shawty I gotta go... you know that, why you playin'"
" I'm not, baby"
" hmm, you know what you doing" his southern drawl was heavy, voice a deep and husky baritone that matched his height, towering over me as my white tipped toes brushed against his feet. Both standing now as he held me close to his chest. He was tall, like 6'5 at least, but he wasn't the type of nigga that was gonna check. Chocolate, and tatted with a smile as white as milk.

" you want these Chanel bags, or nah?" He was half way joking with me as I told him I didn't want them more than I wanted to spend time with him.
" damn baby, why you making me feel bad"
" I'm not Man Man... if you gotta go that's cool, or..." I was smiling as he kissed me and pecked my forehead. Holding my waist as I looked up at him with my arms around his neck.
" or... we can take a shower, together?"
" umm... hmm... I do need to shower anyway"
" see I'm so considerate, daddy..." we laughed as he picked me up, legs wrapped around his waist before I snapped back into the moment. We had been over for 4 months, and I had my own spot. Now buying my own bags, living a life of complete luxury and contrast to the come up. Had just closed on an rental apartment I was going to refurbish and let. Doing better without him than I was with him, financially free and care free too now, but I missed him.

The ring, taken off and placed in my jewellery box, before I sprayed myself with Voice Viva, Valentino and grabbed my car keys and purse.
" Rai, I wanted to talk to you good news with the demos"
" yeah, I gotta do something but, I'll call you Raqi"
" girl! I drove from Decatur! You're gonna listen to me" she was serious, and like a mother figure to me in a sense. My manager for the last year, and killing it on all fronts.
" fine, sorry... let's talk" I smiled and sat down as she  did too.
" who are you going to meet!?"
" no one!? Now... about the demos, Raq!"
" yeah, yeah, the demos! So... let me,let me pull up the email from the lawyer. okay,..so, we have two offers,
from two labels"
" what!?" I was stunned truly, only started making music as a way to spend some of the money I made dancing, and show these hating bitches what looks really looked like.

Today was no different, in something to make IG surge, hair laid, nails and toes did, outfit by Christian Dior, shoes Chanel as was the bag. I was that girl, ever since I decided to be and that was young. I remember being in foster homes, and making sure I made use of the showers, taking care of myself and making sure my brother did the same. Stealing makeup from Macy's, every month like it was my damn job. Grew up to become a firm feature in some of your favourite rappers videos. More than that too but we'll get to that when I can face it myself. I had to, and soon.

" you have meetings all next week - the calendar is deadlocked so, it's a no to Cabo"
" Damn! Lee Lee is gonna be mad"
" I said that week was busy! Plus, I don't give a fuck if that bitch mad?!" All of a sudden the Georgia peach wasn't so sweet,I was stunned as my friend was in the industry too, but quiet, out of the way seemingly.
" woah, woah, don't do my best friend Raqi! What up with you and Kenlee?"
" hmm... so, you don't know!? She really you're friend?" Her eyebrow raised as I rolled my eyes.
" damn! You doing me too now!?... sheesh! What the fuck y'all got going on girl!? Tell me? Educate a sister" I was lighthearted, always, and she laughed as I smiled. Making jokes and trying to calm the drama which was usually just a misunderstanding among civil people.

" she's fucking Star"
" how you know that?"
" I know"
" are you still?"
" still? Sleeping with my kids dad?"
" umm"
" sometimes, shit... he was always at the house with me, and the kids"
" you know he ain't shit Raq... I know you love him but come on now! And I don't know why Lee ain't tell me about it... you sure it's my Lee Lee? She's seeing someone... I think,... pretty sure" we were best friends that respected each others boundaries, but were meaning to catch up in Cabo.

" I'm sure, it was her,... I saw them, they was cuddled up, real cute and shit...holding hands, and they kissed"
" when he picked up the kids... they was doing all that?"
" yeah... exactly, to hurt me...she was with him, and... he has been staying at his house more, and now I know why" she was hopeful, thinking they would get things back on track. He was her first love, the man she went through hell with, for and against now things seemed to be officially over. He was petty enough to do that, and I knew it. My brother was someone that I loved dearly, but my god the man could be a complete dickhead to deal with. I saw the girls he dealt with while dealing with Raquel, even when she was pregnant and I would tell him about it being wrong.

He didn't care though, wanting to make the "most of his life", despite the fact he had created life with a woman that was head over heels in love with him, his promises and lies.
" Damn... ima talk to her later but... we'll talk, I gotta go"
" so... where you going!?" She was looking me up down, noting the sheer as shit dress and heels versus my usual sneakers or sandals.

Makeup done, hair too.
" no where, just a little dinner, drinks, with a friend"I was blushing. A slight smirk on my face as she smiled too. 
" oh... "a friend" gets all this...huh Rain?"
" yeah... a really good, talented, generous, friend...might hit the club so, the girls are sitting and this ass is out!" I laughed as she smiled wide and continued her questioning.
" and you and Man Man"
" oh, honey...that's dead dead" she was laughing hard, as I was serious about it all, watching her and waiting for her return from a giggling episode.
" okay, I got you...sorry, so,...he's back in town?"
" girl who?" I was dragging it now, not wanting to admit I was tapped in deeper than I had ever planned to be.

" gUrL wHo!?" She imitated my high pitched voice, higher than usual. as I knew just who and wondered how long he would be waiting.
" tell him, I said hello, and make sure you call me later, we need to talk through these amazing deals... I emailed outlines to you, okay!!?" She was enthusiastic as was I, blown away really and excited to discuss music plans with my friends.
" okay, thanks... love you" I was listening and walking towards the garage as she followed behind me. She locked up, as I made my way blasting dancehall in the new gift I was sent a few days before. A glossy black Range Rover, something I dreamed of stacking enough money to buy once I got the second house and started my new business. Was just making do with the little A class Mercedes, bought by my ex until then.