" So you been ducking my messages" " No, no... I've been in LA, working on new music and a couple appearances, you know." I had just spent a night at home having been in California, recording what would come to be my first album. I had also been given the opportunity to pop up on certain podcasts that held weight, was performing everywhere I could and had a fan base that was growing with the music.
My personality a huge part of what people liked about me, pretty and popping. Go girl energy, designated down and boogie as a standard, but down to earth. Personally, this pussy was what made men melt in the middle on sight, nothing to play with and I put that on my ex and next.
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" I saw, I'm proud of you... you know that" I had been working hard on recording, with some really well known features from rappers and singers, putting my heart and soul into 32s and features. " hmmm, this is a change from the last time I saw you" that was a fucking understatement, he was furious and angry to a level I didn't ever want to see again. Grabbing me by the throat as I apologised, cried, and felt my stomach drop to the point I actually threw up.
" We coo now... right!?... I ain't know... you been ignoring a nigga so, I couldn't tell you... I am, truly...sorry... I fucking miss my dog" " your bitch!" " that too" " ain't me g... you got the wrong girl baby... remember?" " I got the right one if it's you... listen" " ha! Okay Big Mitch, what's up? For real" I was onto him, knowing the man was everything but faithful and to be fair neither was I at the end of us.
" nothing, shit, a nigga been thinking about us, about you..." " Lil ole me? You don't fuck with me that way. It's fake love" he thought I was making the reference to the song and cringed . " you stay playing... I just wanted to see how you been?" He had seen my strip club extravaganza posts with my super star famous "friend", that had been flying me out to where he was when I could, and fucking me every other week since our "friends night out" a few weeks before and after my ventures in LA.
Aubrey was practicing every move he ever knew on me, almost each and every night we could be together. We was, and I enjoyed every minute. Noticing his comforting words, and the way he stroked my hair as I slept. His nose nested into my neck, and I smiled and embraced how safe he felt, how real it felt. He would tell me about his mom, his son, family and close friends that would sometimes see me, when I was picked up, but he hadn't yet introduced me to anyone but Chubbs so I didn't think anything beyond us being fuck buddies that flew around the world together.
"You've been thinking...,about us? Now you think I'm with someone else,... you want to see what's up!?" He was so covertly controlling, making me feel weird just being myself, he liked my freakiness when it was just "his" to enjoy. Hated my friends, my job and was sensitive to everything I wore and wanted, after a while, it just wasn't the same as the good old days, and we drifted into the company of other people.
I wasn't innocent, interweaving my, at the time, orally sexual friendship with Aubrey, into my way of dealing with what I knew was his cheating, lying and emotional withdrawal when he I felt was bored of me. " Is you fucking him or nah?" " Oh you BIG boy tweaking!" " How I'm nuts... you tricking off on Drake!?" " why is this man in my business!?" " I care" " why!? You're not my man anymore... you left and told me you would never talk to me again, remember!?" He ignored the question, as always, and went on to interrogate me.
