She had been holding a lot in I guess, waiting for the right time to tell me the truth. " so, it's been years?" " three..." "Three motherfucking years!" " Rain!" " sorry, Damn that's a long time!?" " I know" " and,-" we decided to talk a stroll, ten minutes or so, down to a private beach. Besties, berry mojitos and boy talk that was much needed on both sides. She always showed me what I was missing, the parts I didn't want to uncover but desperately needed to.
Reminding me all the reasons were right there within me, my choices and thoughts. I always hated the way she was so good at giving me advice, she was right most of the time, but, it was always harder than it looked. She knew that for herself now. She went from being the one that I laid my troubles on, to a lost little girl, in love with someone only I knew was broken to his core. It wasn't bragging rights, just time spent trying to save someone I was once disappointed by, beyond comprehension. I knew his intentions were always to put himself first, and I was used to him doing things that hurt our relationship, and the trust we once shared. I had to get back to reality, having spent so many years watching him try to teach me the streets but as a girl, it wasn't something I could ever be touched by and remain soft and pretty.
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"I am in love with him" my heart sinking in my chest, realising she had fallen into a pit heading straight to hell. " for real?" " for real...." " woah, girl! What?" She was in tears, tan lines showing as was her mindset. " I'm sorry, Rain... I know I should have told you" " yeah! You should have... What the fuck! Kenlee!? How could you hide this from me!? For so long!!" It wasn't hard for them to link up, I knew they were cool, but not that cool. Collecting my thoughts and words wisely, until she went on. " I got pregnant... like the first couple of times we hooked up and, he wanted me to keep it but I didn't, so we broke up... and it was over for a while but we got close again... like super close, fell in love"
" but you knew better than to have his baby!" " yeah... I know, my daddy would be crazy..." " he's a piece of shit,..." " - he's always cheating" " Damn Lee Lee... I'm sorry for you, you gotta leave him alone baby,... please" I wasn't asking her really, more soft pleading, leading the conversation, but with a demand. " I know y'all ain't talking but damn Rai! Let me love!?" " I want you to live, girl... he's my brother, so I would know he's not the one for you... as your best friend. But, you know that...that's why you hid that shit from me, but I knew because my manager told me" " yeah, she hates me, but... I get it, he was telling me he wasn't with her, and her the same about me, I guess" " said he saw y'all, hugged up when he went to get the kids" " oh, okay..." " you met the kids as aunties friend and, his girl now" " they're good kids, we get on actually" she was defensive, and it wasn't normal.
She told me they were on a break, he cheated too many times for her to take in a period, I guess. Told her he wanted to be friends. I was wondering what that period was, days, weeks. Because it would always be constant, it would always be something he had to get off in the background and deny when confronted. I love my brother to death, I really do. I have literally have been in situations where my life was on the line, for him, my freedom taken too, even if it was just for a night or two. I never faulted, when it was time to go. Loyal little sister, exposed to too much too soon. His older friends predatory in more ways than one, but we would run away and stay with them.
