lifieee.talks

QUESTION OF THE DAY -

How do parents not realise that their fights harm children too?

Honestly, I don't think they don't realise but I think they just underestimate the magnitude to which it affects children. Okay, bare with me and hear me out.

Our parents were brought up in an age where mental health wasn't a big thing. Let alone a big thing, it was hardly a thing. They don't know what depression is, what anxiety means, most of them don't and it's not because they chose not to but it wasn't just available to them. There was no social media. There weren't movies to give them messages about mental health and emotional well-being and I am not saying to belittle the pain of the children who feel unseen or who's cries go unheard and unanswered but I am telling that we need to keep in mind what their beliefs are, what they think, how they think, what they feel is wrong and why they feel is wrong.

However, I know there are parents who know it all and yet do not listen to their children, don't care about the mental health of their children or care too much about the family reputation. And unfortunately, in such cases, change is so very difficult. Because it isn't about showing them the truth, or reforming their beliefs and notions but it is about getting someone to accept and acknowledge something they don't want to.

Parents, on the other hand like to think that children are way too small to comprehend what is going on. No, they aren't. children understand and grasp everything that is going on around them. They understand our tones. They might not understand our words, but they seem to notice our body-language. And that is why it is never recommended to fight around them. The mind of the children is inquisitive. It is always looking out for cues to grasp on, to learn, to understand. And these formative years they need love, compassion and happiness which comes from a happy family, a safe and secure upbringing.

According to my personal experience, I feel like parents think kids don't have the mental capacity to grasp onto a lot of things. But they do and this also shapes their thoughts, the way they react. Children brought up ion healthy households know how it is like to feel safe and be happy but children sadly, brought up in unhealthy family dynamics do not get a safe and secure feeling, most of the times. They are always on the edge. They try to predict the patterns and behaviours of the people in the house to feel safe. They try to go overboard to make the adults happy just to feel loved. And it breaks my heart to say that children get hugely impacted due to unhealthy relationships around them.

And then there are some parents, who are sick enough to just not care. There are parents who don't care if their children are brought up in healthy environments or not. They don't care whether their children go to bed hungry or they cry themselves to sleep. They don't care about the feelings of their children and as sad as that is it is also the truth. Such parents need therapy. They don't deserve kids.

I guess, I really didn't offer any solution to this, for I don't have many.

It completely depends on the parents. Parents who think children aren't old enough to understand and hence they won't get affected need to change their mindset because whatever a child sees or hears or is directly or indirectly taught during their children has a lasting impact on them. And to the parents who simply don't care, you need to. Kids aren't something you do for fun. They're a responsibility of a lifetime. You are giving the kid an entire life ahead of it.

Do you want them to suffer? Do you want them to be completely guarded throughout their lives and go through pain and agony. Do you think you would want to go through that? If you've been through it, how can you wish it or create it for someone else? And if you haven't been through the unhealthy family dynamics and had a happy childhood, why would you not want to create that for your own kids, your own blood.

Author's note -

• about the post •

to all the parents who think our children are young enough to not understand, know that your children are young enough to learn. they look at you and learn everything. EVERYTHING goes into their head, their head assesses everything and they know it all!!! and please don't have children if you cannot take the responsibility and if you were immature enough to not plan then please don't be irresponsible enough to neglect it!!! please take care of the baby because it has done 0 harms to anyone in this world. please do not neglect your children when they are saying something, sharing their opinions and / or experiences!!! listen to them and never tell them they're too small or too grown (given they're not causing any harm to themselves or anyone else)

and to all the children, i know we tend to think our parents have brought us into this world so of course, they're looking after us and taking care of us. that's their duty and why be thankful!!! lemme remind you their are millions of children who're abandoned meaning their parents left them, gave up and what not (there could be a million reasons, im not judging them at all) so be grateful you have parents who care, you have parents who look after you!!! it's not about being in debt to them and letting them control your life but it's just being grateful to them for giving you a life!!

and to all the people (parents and children) suffering out there know that better times WILL come. i know grief and sadness can seem like a pit you can never leave but trust me you can!!! never give up on yourself or the world because if there's good there's evil and you're strong enough to surpass every evil and not succumb to it!!! be informed that you're all great and strong and kind and warriors!!! children facing abuse please talk to someone you trust!!! talk to teachers, friends anyone if you feel like you're being physically, mentally or sexually (im really sorry) assaulted please know that there is light ahead undoubtedly!!! please seek help and support!! let people know because assault and torture never just end!! they never just become better!!

please spread love 💕

- #lifieee 💜✨