You Make It Easy

Even Numbers Are Better.

"No buts."

I can hear Bridget in the hallway. "Bridget just got back. I can pick you up tomorrow."

"Don't worry about it. I'll figure it out."

"Okay."

"Hey, I love you. We'll talk more, okay?"

"Okay. I love you too. Thank you for being super calm through that."

"Dude, I think you're cursed," Bridget tells me as I put my phone down.

"Tell me about it."

"Where'd she come from?"

"I have no idea. She just appeared and was holding a knife and wanted the baby."

She looks at me through the mirror, "How many people are out there?"

"Probably a dozen."

I roll my eyes, "HR has to be sick of me. Name a more problematic person."

"Well, I could name somebody but they're two totally different topics."

"Sydney?" I ask, laughing.

"Yeah."

Pressing a few buttons on my coffee maker, I open a cabinet to get a mug. It's 4:30 am. I have barely slept. I'm not sure why I'm drinking coffee when I won't be going to work today.

Well, I will be but only to talk to HR. I can't wait to see what they say today.

I stir my creamer into my coffee, staring at the wall in front of me. I know I said Christian didn't have to come out but I'm glad he is. It's been kind of rough the past few weeks without him.

Yesterday was just the cherry on top. When I hear my garage door start to open, I freeze, unsure what to do. There's no way he came out here this fast. Like it's not possible. I don't believe that.

I wait in the kitchen because I won't believe it until I see him. The garage door closes as my kitchen door opens. He stops in his tracks at the sight of me, "Here I am trying to be quiet and you're awake."

"I wasn't expecting you at 4:30 in the morning."

He hugs me, "Why aren't you in bed?"

"Why do you think?"

He kisses me, "Are you okay?"

I nod, "Yeah."

"I feel like you'd be asleep if you were okay."

"Just restless, I guess."

"I figured."

I take a sip from my mug before he takes it away from me, "Hey, I just made that. It's fresh."

"You can have it later. You're going to bed."

"Coffee doesn't even affect me."

"I'll believe it when I see it. C'mon, let's go to bed."

I decided against not fighting this. He flew through the night just to make sure I was okay. If he wanted to, he would, and he did. I can't complain that much.

Scanning my badge to let us through the doors, we walk around the floor until we come by the nurse's station. "Hey, what are you guys doing here?" Bridget asks, standing up from her chair.

We stand on the other side, "HR wants to talk."

"They must love you."

I roll my eyes, "Seems like it."

I put my head down on the counter, "When did you get in?"

"4:30 am and somebody happened to be awake because she never went to sleep."

I nudge him, "Come on, do you expect anything less out of her?"

He doesn't verbalize his response so I'm assuming he said no. I'm mentally exhausted. I don't want to be here.

"What do they want to talk about?"

"Just the normal stuff. Probably tell me to stop putting myself in dangerous situations, probably turn the situation onto me because I was holding the baby even though I had no choice, and maybe my next contract."

"Your contract? What, you don't want to be here anymore? Where are you going to go? Aurora?"

I laugh, "That's worse than here."

"No, seriously, you're not leaving."

"My parents brought it up. I mean, would I have gotten punched and a concussion anywhere else? Would I have gotten a knife pulled on me while I was holding a three-day-old baby anywhere else?"

"Yeah, Aurora."

"Okay, you know what I mean. They have more than enough funding to beef up security for their employees. It's the Medical College of Wisconsin. It's one of the best hospitals in the state. I don't want to hear that they don't have enough funding because we know they do."

"They're never going to spend it on the ER."

"Maybe yesterday was their breaking point. I shouldn't have had to deal with that yesterday. We're a Level 1 Trauma Center and we don't get much funding from the state and our management. We're constantly short-staffed. We're always doing other people's work. Anne is retiring. I have three nurses out on maternity leave. We should have on-site social services. They tell me I can run the place however I want then they don't follow through with that. Then I look like the bad guy because I'm trying to change shit around here. But it'll never be up to their standards."

"I'm not telling you that you're wrong but if you go anywhere else, you're not going to have the same status as you do now. Where can you find ER NPs near you?"

"I don't know but it's a thought."

I look at my phone, "We have to go."

"Don't let her make a bad decision."

"I'll keep it in mind."

We walk to the elevator, "Are you serious about that?"

I shrug, "I don't know. I don't want to feel unsafe at work and I realize this could happen anywhere else. But I think something could be done to make it better on management's end for their staff."

"Are you going to tell them that?"

"I don't know."

Walking out to the kitchen from my room, I see Christian standing by the stove. He hums quietly to the music playing in the background from the TV. I hug him from behind, "Hey how'd it go?"

"Fine. We talked it out."

I had to call my parents to let them know everything that was going on with the status of my job. They're not thrilled about a lot of things but I have to do what's best for me and that means staying where I'm at.

"Good."

He turns around, "I was thinking we could drive by the house and see what's going on after we eat. We got that text a few days ago."

"That's fine."

We stand, hugging each other. It's relieving to know if something comes up, he will be there for me. While it all seems minor, sometimes it's not. I have so much love for him.