Broken I

ARNA

"Enna achu ? Yen angayae nikura ?" he asks, noticing me in the threshold of his room.

"Illa, athu..." I stammered, walking nearer to the bed.

"Hmm, sollu," he encouraged, while I still stood, unsure of how to begin.

"Sorry," I whispered.

He looked at me, his face furrowing in confusion.

"Ethuku ma ?" he asked.

"Illa, nethu–"

I shouldn't have spoken like that. After all, he might have slept poorly because of me. Have I done too much ? Perhaps I have.

Hridhan is the elder son of this family. This is his house, his room. Who am I to speak like that to him ?

"Paravala ma. athu ellam onnu prechana illa," he says cutting me off, giving me a warm smile, then turns towards the table.

I silently sat on the edge of the bed, watching him as he sat on the writing chair before a table with a window before it. The sky had turned dark, mirroring the state of my life.

It was already past eleven. Both Nithya and I had too much work to complete. Here I am now, finally finished with my works. The group of aunties I met this morning were my mother-in-law's family relatives. Nothing new; they were just judging me.

But that didn't hurt as much as... Leave that. The whole day had passed under pressure for me, with the meet with relatives. Not to mention their sugar-coated kind words about how beautiful I looked to how grateful they were to have me in their family.

Nice to hear. All lies.

My chest was hurting as I bent forward to hug my knees. The knots behind me were so tight. I reached my left hand behind, trying to loosen them, but I couldn't. They were criss-crossed. I had changed into this saree in the evening, and Nithya was the one who helped me with this.

I hate being in a saree. I'm just not accustomed to it. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I thought about asking Nithya if I could find any comfy clothes nearby, but then I realized that wasn't even possible with my mother-in-law around.

I lay my back against the headboard, still feeling the tightness in chest. Shit. I glanced to my left to see him engrossed in his own thoughts, his back facing me, his hand gracefully twisting the pen. He lifted his face and gazed at the sky, or maybe the moon.

I felt so tired. I hadn't slept properly last night. But before anything else, I needed to get rid of this blouse. But now, I couldn't go to Nithya.

Should I ask him for help ?

After all, I had behaved rudely to him. I had made him sleep on the floor. I didn't know what he thought of me.

Vera enna attitude girl than countered my inner voice.

"Arna," I heard his voice, and turning, I saw him standing near the bed, his expression etched with concern.

I hadn't noticed when he had approached from the table. I let out a small huff, a sign of my distraction.

"Fine thana ?" he asked, his gaze piercing through my facade of composure. 

I pressed my lips together, hiding the inner struggle, and nodded. But his reaction clearly indicated that he wasn't satisfied with my answer.

"Nejama va ?" he pressed further, his concern evident in his tone.

My brain battled, weighing the decision whether to ask for help or not. The struggle for breath, the tightness in my chest, made the decision for me. I stood up from the bed, moving closer to him, and he instinctively took a few steps back, giving me space.

I fidgeted with my fingers nervously, his eyes following my every movement. Gathering my courage, I finally spoke in a whisper, barely audible.

"Athu en blouse knots konjam tight aa irukku," I confessed, feeling a rush of vulnerability as he looked at me with confusion.

"Ennaku kai pinnadi ettala..." I trailed off, feeling embarrassed to admit my inability to reach behind my back.

"Thirumbu," he said, cutting me off gently, his voice reassuring.

I turned around obediently and put my hair front. I felt his presence drawing near behind me, his proximity both comforting and unsettling.

"Itha eppidi loose pannanu ?" he asked, his face reflected clearly in the mirror before me. His expression was one of confusion, his hands moving in the air as if he were trying to decipher a puzzle.

I couldn't help but bite my lips to control an involuntary smile at his pouting expression, indicating his inability to understand.

"Antha knot remove panni konja loose aa tie pannu nga," I instructed, showing him the way to loosen the knot.

"Okay va ?" he confirmed, loosening the knot as per my directions.

"Inu konjam tight aa," I remarked as he adjusted it.

"Okay va paru," he rechecked me.

"Okay," I acknowledged, and he tied my knot securely.

Turning around, I thanked him, but he shook his head with a smile, brushing off my gratitude. He then walked to a corner, picked up a mat, and laid it on the floor, grabbing a pillow.

"Nenga mela thoongu nga..na—" I attempted to stop him from sleeping on the floor.

"Nee mela thoongu arna ma. Ennaku keela thoongurathu palakalam than," he insisted.

"Illa... athu—" I protested, but he seemed resolute in his decision.

"Shh..." he hushed me, placing his forefinger over his lips, then softly added, "good night," before lying down.

Am I a kid ? Or is he the one ?

I shook my head, unable to suppress a smile, and switched off the lights, settling onto the bed.

Turning to my right side, I observed him with his back facing me, wrapped in a blue comforter. When he slightly turned towards my side, I closed my eyes instinctively, not wanting to be caught staring. 

But then, curiosity got the best of me, and I peeked through my eyelashes to steal a glance. His lips were slightly parted as he drifted into sleep. Oh god, so soon. Maybe he was just tired.

Am I noticing him too much?

Just sleep, Arna.

❤️‍🔥

"Enna time nu pathiya ?" My mother-in-law's shout startles me, and I instinctively close my eyes in fear.

"Athai," Nithya interjects, attempting to diffuse the tension.

"Nee summa iru," she barks at Nithya, who tries to support me.

"Yen di, unaku time pakka theriyuma theriyatha ? Ivalo somberiyava iruppa ?" she continues, her words cutting through the air like a knife.

Her words pricked me. I didn't want to be late. In reality, I had gone to sleep nearly past eleven, and after the incidents of last night, I was sure it was nearly twelve.

What did I do ? I had slept late. I hurried as fast as I could. I have slept only six hours. That's minimum after all.

"Sorry, athai," I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"Nalaiku morning 4.30 oru nimisham late aachu nalum–" her voice was abruptly cut off.

"Enna aachu ?" I heard a male voice interrupting her.

It wasn't rocket science to know who the voice belongs to.

—–

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