Broken I

ARNA

Samudra,

I never knew what love was until I saw your eyes. The ocean eyes. The deepest eyes. Your eyes.

Even though our time together was very short, I knew you. I felt like I had lived all my years with you. I loved you in every way. I am getting married soon. I don't know if I can love my wife the way I loved you.

I don't believe in second chances. There can be a second chance, but the first time is always special. But still, I will do everything for her. Because she is my wife.

I will love you even if I don't meet you again, Samudra.

I am madly in love with you.

Water drops slipped from my eyes as I finished his diary. He was in love—not with me, but with Samudra. Everything made sense now.

Everything felt different. He did everything for me, not because he loved me, but because I was his wife.

A responsibility.

I sat there, the weight of the truth settling over me like a heavy blanket. His kindness, his gestures, his support—all were driven by duty, not love. I had mistaken his sense of responsibility for affection, his obligation for passion.

My heart ached with a profound sadness. I had hoped to be the one he loved, the one who filled his thoughts and dreams. But I was just fulfilling a role, a place he felt obliged to fill.

Tears continued to fall as I closed the diary, the realization cutting deep. I needed to find a way to move forward, to navigate this new reality.

It would be difficult, but I had to accept that his love belonged to someone else, even if his life was now bound to mine.

I gulped as I felt my world crumbling down before my eyes. I read the diary completely, but I couldn't accept that he wasn't loving me.

I took my phone and saw his wish list.

Wishes 🧿

Cuddle her in sleep. ✔️
She ruffling my hair
Feed her with my hands.
Us cooking together. ✔️
Her legs on my lap while we watch movies so I can play with her little toes.
Make her sleep in my lap.
Play with her hair.
Hand in hand. ✔️
Tight hugs. ✔️

Every line had her, not Arna or baby. So it's not me. It's her. Samudra. His love.

Even the important list of mine had the word 'wife.' He never said he loved me. It was my assumption.

So everything I believed is a lie.

My eyes felt heavier; everything around me looked like an illusion. My sister, whom I thought of as my life, was lying to me.

I thought I could distract myself and took his diary, only to realize that the only person who made me trust and believe was ready to kill me with the same thing.

"Arna, door open pannu," I heard Damini's voice breaking through the silence of the house.

I heard the door opening, and as she entered, I could see her feet through my tear-filled eyes.

"Arna," she kneeled before me, her voice soft and concerned.

"I hate you, Damini," I hollered, my voice cracking with pain.

"Arna, please, na soldratha—" she whispered, trying to calm me.

"Innum enna solla pora ? Even you betrayed me, right ? Yen di ? Yen ?" I cried, my tears flowing freely.