Finding Jay ??

      Cinder and Jordana walked down the path to Jay's room, both consumed in their own thoughts. Cinder glanced over at Jordana, her face set in anxious determination. They were on their way to stage an intervention of sorts, to drag Jay away from his room he had insisted on hiding in every moment he hadn't been training since the Ceremony. The two of them had noticed a worrying difference in their friend since he had put in the mask. Jay had seemed even more distant and cold towards his them. He had rushed back to his room as soon as his training had finished each day, not even eating in the communal dining area. He was going harder during training. It hadn't escaped either of their attentions that he had been putting more force behind his punches as they sparred. Jay had mastered Shatterspin in a matter of days, getting to a level it had taken Cinder  months to reach. Today, Jay had managed to get Cinder on his back in 2 seconds flat. As Cinder lay there, panting on his back with the wind knocked from his lungs, he had a frightening realization. Jay had been holding back on them. He had been pulling his punches, not wanting to hurt his friends. Cinder watched Jay standing above him, lightning playing at the tips of his fingers.
      He could kill me, Cinder realized, the thought sending a shiver down his back. Anytime he wants, he could send a lightning bolt right through my heart.
     Jay had smiled coldly then, the lightning retreating as he reached down to help Cinder up. He got shakily to his feet, shooting a weak smile at Jay before backing away to find Jordana. The two of them had decided that afternoon to try and get through to their friend. They wanted to help Jay through the effects of the mask, help him get back to normal. Cinder thought back to how it had felt when he first put on the mask and heard the gong. He remembered the rush of anger and power that had surged through him, giving him a sense of control he had never had before. In the weeks following, Cinder's powers grew quickly and soon he had become one of Lord Ras's most accomplished followers. He didn't  experienced a drastic shift in who he was though, like he was witnessing in Jay. His soul had already been damaged by the time he put that mask on, the innocent boy he had once been long dead. There was nothing good left in him to kill. He glanced over again at Jordana, remembering that she also was not too affected by the mask. The two of them were damaged, broken. The world had killed the goodness in them long before they had even met Lord Ras. But Jay was different. He had so much light in him, so much kindness despite the struggles they knew he had endured.  Cinder shuddered, remembering Jay's haunted scream as Jordana had given him back some of his memories from the Administration. Despite the pain they knew he carried, he was still the best of them. Jordana and Cinder wanted to keep him that way. In a way, this desire was partly selfish in Cinder's mind. A stupid part of him felt that by protecting Jay, he was protecting the boy he had once been. Cinder scoffed at his own stupidity, blocking out his past before the bad memories could take hold. They had a mission, and Cinder didn't like to fail.
     "Jay?" Cinder called, not even bothering to knock on the door as he pushed his way into his friend's room. Jay shot him an icy glare from where he sat on his bed, reading a book of battle strategies Lord Ras must've given him to read.
     "What do you want?" He asked, obviously annoyed by the intrusion. Jordana bounded up to him, flopping down on the bed.
     "We want you to stop ignoring us," she whined, as Cinder came and sat beside them.
     "I'm not," Jay grumbled, still attempting to read his book. "I'm just trying to get ready for our mission." Cinder rolled his eyes at the pointed look Jay gave both of them.
     "So are we," Cinder protested. "Bonding with the members of your mission is part of training too, you know."
He nudged Jay's shoulder, but there was no response. He glanced at Jordana who gave him an exasperated look in return. They were getting nowhere. Jordana sighed, snatching the book out of Jay's hands. Lightning sparked in his palms as he glared at her.
     "Get out," he growled, his voice low and full of warning.
     "No chance," Jordana scoffed, trying to drag him out of bed. He shoved her away from him, sparks growing brighter as his anger mounted.
     "GET OUT!" He yelled at her, electricity dancing dangerously close to her face. Hurt flashed on Jordana's face as she stumbled away from him. Cinder rose, his own temper flaring.
     "The hell's wrong with you?" He snapped, getting close to Jay's face. Jordana inched back, a frightened look crossing her expression. Jay glanced at Jordana, then back at Cinder who was glaring at him.
      "I don't want to talk to you guys," Jay snapped, his voice lower but tone still dangerous. "Leave. Me. Alone."
      "Fine!" Cinder yelled at him, grabbing Jordana's arm and dragging her towards the door. "My bad for trying to be a good friend!" He slammed the door behind him, and sighed heavily as he looked down at Jordana's pale face.
     "What's happening to him?" Jordana whispered, obviously shaken up.
     "I don't know. I hope he snaps out of it soon though, because I really don't like whoever we just saw in that room." The two of them trudged back down the path, and Cinder felt defeated. Once again the world was proving goodness and light could not survive. It had been foolish to think any differently. Maybe it was best if the good parts of Jay died. Kind people did not last long in this life, as Cinder had learned. At least like this, he would survive.