One Day At A Time - Revised Edition

Two weeks after their first date, Ava is visiting Lilly's house for the first time in a while.

They had grown comfortable with spending all their time at Ava's house, in her pastel green bedroom, since the beginning of time.

Though, today is different.
Mr. and Mrs. Miller are out of the house on one of their once-in-a-blue-moon date nights.

On their way out the door, Lilly had asked if Ava could spend the night since she was already at the house.
Her parents had said, "Yes," along with, "Don't do anything stupid while we're gone."

Now, a little past six o' clock, her parents are out of the house, meaning that herself and Ava can do whatever they want for the night.

"Whatever they want" starts with a simplistic dinner of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, since that's all either of them could come up with what they had on hand.

After dinner in the kitchen, the night shifts into the two of them on Lilly's bed, looking up at the fairy lights, while any one of Lilly's playlists come out of the tiny speakers in her phone.

Their hands are pressed together and besides the music in the room, it's peacefully quiet.
Almost quiet enough for Ava and Lilly to hear each other's breathing.

"Can I ask you something?" Ava questions as softly as she can, breaking the silence.
Lilly turns her head and looks at her.
"Yeah?"
"Would you be okay if I, if I told my mom about us? About us being together?"

"You didn't tell her already?"
"No, I wanted to ask you first."
She gives Ava's hand a gentle squeeze.
"Thanks for asking me first, that means a lot. You can tell her, your mom is cool."

That makes Ava smile, but also slightly worry about how she'll tell her mom.
But her worrying doesn't last long, she doesn't have to tell her right away. She has time.

"Do you think you'll tell your parents?"
Lilly stiffens at the question and her grip on Ava's hand tightens, like an odd reflex.

Lilly has thought about telling her parents, but the idea of it terrifies her.

Her parents are... relatively... supportive of her queerness.
They bought her some sort of rainbow paraphernalia during June one year and let her hang the lesbian pride flag that Rose bought her for her fourteenth birthday up on her bedroom wall.

But then, they make comments to each other in the living room sometimes, late at night when they think Lilly is fast asleep.

Comments about how, "it'll pass," how her feelings about girls are a temporary thing, about how much her queerness truly bothers them.
They are comments that Lilly hears while she's lying in bed, wide awake.
Comments that hurt so viciously.

The comments made the night of her fourteenth birthday still come back every time she looks at the flag pinned to the navy colored wall.
"Why does she need a flag for that?"
"It's too big, it's too bright. It's too much."

She goes quiet and retreats into her mind for a moment, turning her head to look back up at the lights and the ceiling.

Ava's thumb runs over the back of Lilly's hand and over her knuckles, "I'm sorry. I know your parents are- I-I know they're..."

"Confusing?" Lilly offers.
"Yeah, that, I guess."
"Mean, that's another word. Just mean sometimes."

Lilly's mom, more than her dad, is the main offender of the comments at nighttime.

The specific look on her mom's face when she got the flag still sticks out in her mind; the look of bitterness disguised in support.
A tight grin accompanied with cold eyes.

More than once, Ava has heard of Louise's offenses.

"You don't have to tell her at, at all." Ava reassures her. "I love you and I, I want you to be happy and not deal with any crap that comes with, with telling her."

Ava sits up a little, her voice sounding a stern and frustrated. Angry.

Lilly hasn't seen Ava get angry in a while.
She looks up at her.
"Hey, you don't need to get angry on my behalf. I want to tell them, but I don't know if I can yet."

Ava's face softens as she takes a deep breath.
"That's okay. You can take your time. You can tell them or not tell them whenever you want."

With her heart and mind feeling more at ease now, Lilly reaches up and takes hold of the middle of Ava's shirt, pulling her back down to hug her.

She lays there with Ava on top of her, hugging her really, really tightly.
"Thank you, thank you. I love you." She sighs into her ear.

The word, "love" tickles Ava's ear and stirs around in her brain. It's become one of her favorite words, thanks to Lilly.
That word has the same effect on both of them. It grounds them and makes them calm.

They're in the midst of a hug that's filled with love and warmth.
A comforting hug that feels like they are sitting in front of a cracking fire on a cold snow day. (Unfortunately, they only got ice this year and no snow, so they technically haven't experienced the feeling of a warm fire on a snow day in about a while.)

Nevertheless, the two of them are comfortable and comforted.

Neither of them can worry about Lilly's parents right now.
In each other's arms, they are safe and secure and warm and loved.

Ava leans back a little bit, looking down at Lilly.
A smile tugs at Lilly's lips,
"What's that look for?"
"I just like looking at you." Ava states, clear as day. "God, that was stupid. I'm sorry."
"It's not stupid. It's sweet. You're sweet."

She leans down and kisses the middle of Lilly's forehead on a quick impulse.
Her impulsiveness is a good thing, sometimes.

It's a good thing, because now Lilly's face is warm.
Her face is flushed warm and she can't stop smiling as Ava kisses her cheek, then her other cheek a few times over.

Ava is over the moon with happiness right now, expressing her love physically, all of it.

She kisses her lips and she doesn't stop for a long couple seconds, feeling Lilly's hands end up on her back and her own hands end up in their nearly routine place of either side of Lilly's face.

And, like in the car this same time two weeks ago, they kiss each other until they're both breathless and giggling.

"Holy shit, I love that." Lilly breathes out.
"I love it, too." Ava sighs. "I love it so damn much."

Lilly's parents and their dumb, hurtful opinions don't matter right now, what they think doesn't matter right now.

They're in Heaven, in the clouds with no one else but each other; that is what matters in this moment in time.