Last Escape For Aia ( Under Revision)

I didn't know that it will hurt a lot. My almond eyes becomes chinky because of my all night cry. Namamaga na yung mata ko sa kakaiyak ko. Pabalik-balik sa isip ko ang mga sinabi ni daady. The way terror flash into his face because he was mad at me. Hindi din ako nakatulog ng maayos dahil ramdam ko na may presensya na bumabantay saakin. Si manang minda pala. 

Ipinagtimpla niya ako ng gatas dahil nag-aalala daw siya na baka hindi ako makaatulog dahil sa nangyari. And it indeed came true.

" Magiging maayos din ang lahat, hija. Alam ko na madami ka ding pinagdadaanan sa ngayon. But, just understand your dad. " malambing niyang payo habang dahan-dahang hinahaplos ang buhok ko.

" Why do I feel like he was blaming me of mom's death?" I asked curiously.

" Hayaan mong panahon ang maghatid ng sagot sa iyo, hija. Ayokong masaktan ka. At mas ayokong nakikitang nahihirapan ka."

Matapos namin mag usap ay bumaba na din si  manang para magpahinga. Nagpasya nalang akong magbasa ng libro para antukin. And as I expected, I fell asleep.

And as I close my eyes. Darkness envelope my mind, but kept my ears open. I can hear soft voices. Whispers. I can feel it down through my spines.

" Ang ganda mo anak"
"You're always our princess"
" Mahal ka namin ng dad mo"

Napabalikwas ako ng bangon dahil sa hindi komportableng pakiramdam. Pawisan ako at mabilis ang paghinga. At hindi ko din namamalayan na may tumutulo nang mga luha mula saaking mga mata. Dali- dali ko itong pinunsan gamit ang kanan kong kamay at nagpasyang maligo nalang.

I entered inside my bathroom. I can't explain my feeling right now. My mind was clouded with curiousity and questions. And guilt.

Anong mga ginawa ko bago ang aksidente?

Inabot ako ng isa at kalahating oras sa pagbabad sa bath tub. Ang mainit na tubig nakahalo sa mahalimuyak kong body wash ay ramdam ng buing katawan ko.

Binalot ko ng puting roba ang katawan ko at umupo sa harap ng vanity mirror. I didn't know that I was this fond of pink color. Everything around me was a combination of white and pink colors.

It was cute, though.

Pagkatapos kong makapagbihis ng isang pale green backless blouse at flowy long skirt na white ay pinaresan ko ito ng one inch na transparent sandals.

Bumaba na ako sa dinning area at naabutan ko ang mga kasambahay na naghahanda na din ng pagkain. Yung iba ay naglilinis na din. I smiled and greeted them a goodmorning.

" Goodmorning, ma'am"
"Mas maganda ka pa po sa umaga ma'am"
" Kain na po maam"

I said my thanks to them at umupo na din sa upuan.

I am slicing my tocino nang marinig ko ang huni ng yapak mula sa itaas. Binaling ko ang tingin ko sa likod at nagtagpo ang tingin namin ni daddy. Kahit na ayaw niyang ako ang anak niya. Sadness melted the excitement I feel earlier. Akala ko napilit ko na ang sarili ko ma balewalain ang sinabi niya. But, I am wrong. Words are more hurtful than physical wounds. Words can slice and kill deeply without any stains of blood and in just a single effort. But, wounds can be healed by medicines and treatments.

And that's why people find it hard to move on and keep on going because of the words that stains their minds which leaves a permanent mark. That's how eager I am to make  and remake my old memories. Kasi despite of everything I've been through. I still have the chance to go on. To live. And to have a change without escaping from the reality.

Naupo si dad sa kabisera without even looking at me. He never tend to even smile. Say hi or even greet me.

" You're going to the firm, dad?" I ask eagerly with a smile in my face. Baka kasi pag ako yung nag initiate ng conversation ay maging okay din kami.