"hey nerd" "hey doofus" -rodrick x reader

Chapter One Hundred-Four: CPR From Strangers

As Rodrick glanced around the pool, he noticed Heather Hills climbing down the life guard chair.

"Have a fun shift, Y/N," Heather said to the girl who made her way over to the chair. "See you at break."

"Bye, Heather," Y/N replied as she sat on the chair.

Rodrick slowly lowered his glasses as he looked at his girlfriend. He stood up with a smile. "It's Y/N."

"Don't go over there," Greg demanded. "She's working."

"I'm not going over there, she'll come to me," said Rodrick. "I'm surprising her."

Before Greg could say another word, Rodrick began making his way over to the pool. He sat down on the deck before he carefully dropped himself in.

He tried his hardest not to squeal at the cold water before he began swimming around.

He waited until he was in Y/N's view before he started to thrash around in the water. "Ah! Cramp!" he shouted, wildly waving his arms around.

But, to Rodrick's amazing luck, a little girl walked up to Y/N and asked when the snack bar was closing.

"The nearest snack bar closes around 4:30 this afternoon," Y/N said to the girl. "But I think they stop serving breakfast food at 11:45. So, if you'd like something for breakfast, I'd say start heading over there now."

The girl smiled before she asked another question.

"Cramp! Hey!" Rodrick shouted as he continued to move around. "Oh, look. I'm drowning! Hey!"

But it was no use. The little girl and Y/N were still in conversation.

Rodrick scowled. His hatred for kids had never been stronger.

He decided in order to get Y/N's attention, he'd have to be more dramatic. So, he started to splash around in the water and wave both his hands high in the air. "Oh! I can't breathe!" he yelled before he went under the water.

Little did he know, he had captured the attention of someone else.

"I'm drowning! Over here!" Rodrick hollered before he pretended to sink down again.

Suddenly, he heard someone dive in beside him.

He stopped his shouting and turned to see a man swimming towards him.

"Ah!" he squealed as the man wrapped his arms around him. "Who are you? I don't even know you."

"It's okay," the man assured as he swam Rodrick to the deck. He pulled him out of the water and made him lay down on his back.

Before Rodrick could react, the man's mouth collapsed onto his.

Rodrick's eyes widened as they welled with tears. "No!" he screamed when the man pulled away for a moment. "Y/N! Help me!"

The man pressed his lips against Rodrick's once again, silencing his cries.

At the sound of her name, Y/N turned to see Rodrick being kissed by a bald man on the pool deck.

She furrowed her brows in confusion before she realized that the man was giving Rodrick unnecessary CPR.

She quickly climbed down the ladder of the life guard chair and wished the little girl a good day before she made her way over to her damsel in distress.

She cleared her throat. "Excuse me, sir," she said. The man tore away from Rodrick and looked up at her. "Thank you for your help but I think he's fine."

The man stood up and began making his way back to his lounge chair, muttering about how life guards should be better at their jobs.

"Oh, Y/N, you saved me," Rodrick said, dramatically placing the back of his hand on his forehead.