Obsession

Resolution

He reached up and scratched the back of his neck. His usual shiny dark hair was ... limp. Dull. And looked like it was in desperate need of a wash.

He shrugged, his eyes were trained on the floor as if he suddenly found the hallway carpet fascinating.

My chest squeezed a little as I continued to stare at him, knocking the wind out of my lungs.

Seriously, he looked ... well, not right.

"Are you okay?" I asked, feeling a pressure squashing my chest once more.

"Yeah," he muttered. He continued to stand in the doorway, hugging the pile of clothes in his arms.

"You can come in, you know," I told him, then stepped to the side as he took a couple of steps into the apartment before shutting the door.

His eyes flickered to me, then to the floor once more.

He looked ... nervous. And that was kind of how I felt, too. How was I supposed to act around him now?

Tension weighed heavily in the air, pressing down, making it hard to breath, hard to think. I took another swig from the bottle in my hand, then motioned towards the kitchen.

"Want a beer?"

Thomas nodded, his eyes failing to meet mine.

Okay, then.

Leading the way towards the kitchen, I grabbed another beer from the fridge, opening it up and then passed it to him as he came into the kitchen, still clutching his clothes.

I nodded at the pile in his arms.

"Gonna carry those around the apartment?"

"I'm just gonna go down and do some laundry." He took a large swallow from the bottle in his hand. "Just came by to see if I had anything else that needed washing."

"I thought you'd moved everything to Hayden's place," I murmured, leaning against the counter.

Thomas sighed. "Almost everything." His eyes looked glossy under the pale winter sunlight that was trying to shine through the kitchen window. "I still have stuff here."

Honestly, I hadn't noticed. I never went into his room. Since that night last year, I avoided his bedroom. Had even avoided him.

Till now.

But seeing him now ... seeing how he looked ... I felt bad. My chest was squeezing, the tension making it difficult for me to breathe. A dull ache started to thump right above my eyes and I rubbed my head, before taking another sip of beer.

"How are things with Hayden?" Did I really want to know the answer to that?

Thomas flinched a little, before taking a sip of beer ... then another ... one more ...

"We ... uh ... kinda broke up," he muttered so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

"Broke up?"

He nodded, taking a large swallow from his bottle. "Yeah."

Oh.

"So ... uh ... what's going on, then?" I asked, feeling the ache in my head start to pound. "Are you still living over there?"

Not completely a stupid question because he wasn't living here and if he'd broken up with Hayden ...

Thomas nodded.

"Even though you guys aren't together any more?"

His eyes were on the floor once more, the bottle on his lips.

"You have a room here. This is your apartment, too. Why are you still living with Hayden if you guys aren't a thing any more?"

"Because I haven't exactly been welcome here, either."

Okay. He had a point.

Since that night, I'd spent all my time avoiding Thomas, thinking that he was doing the same thing this whole time. I hadn't wanted to see him. Not after ...

Well, not after that night. And what he'd done.

Gripping the bottle in between my fingers, I ran my other hand through my hair, then rubbed it across my eyes as the pain thumping behind them was growing, getting worse, piercing my brain.

Fuck.

"So, you've been sharing a bed with a guy you're not with anymore?"

"No," he murmured. "I've been kinda sleeping on his sofa."

The fuck?

Shaking my head, I took another sip of beer, thinking that I may need another bottle after this.

This conversation was hurting my head.

I lifted my eyes to see him sipping on his beer, his gaze on the floor, tears coating his eyes. His cheeks looked a little sunken in, his skin dull.

He was sleeping on a couch. Probably hardly sleeping at all. No wonder he looked like shit.

"What's Hayden say about you sleeping on his couch? Does he mind?"

Thomas sniffed, wiped at his nose then shook his head. "Nah. He doesn't care." He raised his eyes, the tears threatening to fall once more. "He's been seeing someone else. Another guy from one of his classes. He's been bringing him round and ..."

Fuck.

No need to finish that sentence. Pretty sure I knew what was going on. What Hayden was doing in front of Thomas.

Blowing out a breath, I looked at my best friend.

That was seriously messed up.

"Where were you over the Christmas break?" I hadn't seen him at all on the run up to Christmas and, knowing his dad, he'd want his whole family at home so that he could take them to some random place for the holidays.

Thomas shrugged. "Dad took us all to spend some time at a ranch in Texas for Christmas." He sighed. "It sucked."

I chuckled. Yeah, that sounded like his dad.

"Where did you go?" he asked as he lifted the bottle to his lips again.

"Jenson came here for a few days, then I spent the rest of the holidays with him and his family." I grinned. "Ate too much. Drank too much." I flexed my arm. "Need to get the fuck back ino the gym."

"I hear ya." He smiled at me.

I cocked a brow. "Wanna come with me?"

He seemed to mull it over, then nodded. "Yeah."

"And you're gonna move back in here." I told him as I pushed off the counter. "No more sleeping on a sofa in that asshole's place when you have a bed here."

"But what about ..." His voice trailed off as his eyes fell to the floor once more. He didn't want to say it. And I didn't want to hear it.

My chest started to hurt, along with my head.

Fuck.

This was fucking ridiculous.

This was what we'd been reduced to now? My best friend ...

Walking over to him, I gripped his chin and lifted his head. "This is your home. And you're gonna fucking live here."

Thomas swallowed, a tear breaking free and running down his cheek. He sniffed, then wiped at his eyes.

"Thank you," he whispered, making my heart break a little more.

Shit.

Reaching over, I flung the clothes out of his grip, then wrapped an arm around his neck.

He rested his head on my shoulder, his arm curling around his waist. I heard him sniff once more, and I took a deep breath.

Whatever the fuck happened last year can stay in last year.

It was a new year. And this guy needed a friend right now. I wasn't about to turn my back on him.

Maybe that would be my New Years' resolution.